Im to scared and anxious to sleep and I cant stop the paranoia & I need help
Hi Everyone,
Im a generally anxious person and its getting worse as I get older and become more aware of the things & mainly the dangers around me. I feel anxious in the car with people and i dont trust the and I constantly am assesing there health and there driving, speed & how close to the next car they are or if they are going to ram into the car in front, if i hear a plane at night go over my house the first thing i think is bomb. These are only a few of many general anxieties i have but a particualr fear is causing me a imense amount of trouble. I have a fear of spiders and it has always been bad but lately its gotten to the point where I cant sleep & im scared to sleep and turn the light off & sometimes I cant stop crying I sit up during the day time worrying about and dreeding when im going to have to go to sleep.
My room is prone to spiders I find at least 1 usually multiple a day in my room & thats only the ones I can see I have had white tail spiders fall on me while i sleep and crawl up my leg on the couch I have more of an issue with them at night. Everynight without fail I will shine a flash light under the bed and do a inspection of the underneath and floor of my room then I remove the sheets and clear the bed I shake out the sheet and quilt then I shine the flash light behind the bed throughly checking for spiders then I will check behind every piece of furniture and i will check the walls for any dots or marks etc to make sure they arnt spiders then I shake out the sheets and make the bed then i repeat the bit with the flash light. I will sit with my light on for at least 30 min to make sure i can see any new ones that come out of hiding then i turn the light off & even after this I am paramoid and fearful and I cant make the anxiety stop. Even just sitting in my room makes me anxious I can feel what feels like lots of tiny spiders and bugs in my hair running around and feel them running all over my body. I cant sleep & im paranoid and panicy and cry.
When im asleep i cant protect myself I am defenceless and not in control i ususally do the flash ligth check thing multiple times a night. Every dot or mark on a wall every bit of dust fills me with the fear and I cant take it I cant sleep and all i want to do is cry I dont know what to do logically I know that they probably wont hurt me & that no one in Australia has died of a spider bite in decades but If i get bitten in my sleep and I dont know i could die. I feel like they are falling onto my neck and back and head from webs as i write this I cant deal with this anymore I dont know what to do my family get mad when i make a big deal out of the spiders I sleep with a shoes and a can of one shot spider spray onmy bed side table I even keep my air con vents shut so they cant get in that way. I really dont know what to do I should like a baby.
Please help me the thought of having to sleep tonignt is unbearbale.
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Made an account just to say I heavily relate to this, and to share my own experience.
I currently live with two family members and throughout my whole life they've been the ones who have had to kill bugs for me most of the time. Really tiny ones don't phase me as much but I start freezing up when it comes to ones that are the size of, say, a peanut. Once it starts getting humid however is when my life becomes a living hell.
Huge roaches and house centipedes start to get common, and once I see one in my room I grab my "essentials" (phone, laptop, blanket and a pillow) and stay in the living area until someone takes care of it for me. I keep bug spray right by my desk and barely even use it, because my first instinct upon seeing the damaged things is to drop everything I'm doing and get out; I can't help it at all. I start shaking in fear and absolutely refuse to step back into my room until I know the bug is dead. In the Summer of last year I started placing a pair of pajama pants against the bottom of my door so bugs (particularly huge ones) don't come in through there anymore. It's almost been a year and I still do it. I never close the door without moving the pants against the bottom with my feet.
It really worries me because I'm someone who already has trouble with self care and keeping a routine, and a bug in my room essentially brings my life to a halt. Having a roomate whenever I move out is a must, because if I live alone I'm pretty much screwed. I'd sooner ask a neighbor to help or even call a friend who'd be willing to come to me before doing anything myself.
If anyone is wondering, I spoke to my therapist about this already but their words didn't really help. They only pointed out how irrational my fear was since the bugs I see aren't ones that can hurt me, and that I'm not alone; things that I already knew.
Things have escalated to the point where I took in a stray cat from our neighborhood in hopes that it'll hunt them down and the worst I'll need to do is grab it with tissue and flush it away (and at times I still need to mentally prepare myself before doing it). Summer has come around again and about an hour ago I think I spotted a small roach crawl into my air conditioner. I say think because the lights are off and my eyes could've been playing tricks on me, but regardless it was enough to make me not want to sleep anymore. So now I'm here.
Hi @Teal_Doctor
It sounds like you are having a difficult time dealing with your fear of bugs. I can understand how these feelings of fear and worry would be super overwhelming. I am sorry to hear that you didn’t receive the support you needed from your therapist when you told them about your phobia. Sometimes it can take a while to find the right fit when it comes to a therapist. I'm wondering if you might be open to trying someone that specialises in supporting people with phobias perhaps?
I am also wondering if you might know if anything triggered your fear of bugs? Identifying triggers may be helpful to understand why this is happening for you and may make it easier to find potential solutions. We have this article on phobias that you might like to have a read through 😊
Have you found anything that helps you feel more safe whilst you're in the midst of experiencing these fears?
it's been an couple of years since you posted this and i hope that your phobia has improved, but i am going through basically the same thing as you and i don't really know what to do anymore. it's currently 3am and i'm awake because there's a small spider on my ceiling and i'm to afraid to go to sleep incase it falls on me while i am sleeping or if a wake up and it is near or on me. every night i feel so much fear from spiders and i have to check around my whole room multiple times before going to sleep like you do, and i also have to stay awake and keep the light for at least an hour in case i didn't see a spider while i was checking and it comes out from hiding. it causes me a lot of fear and sleep deprivation and i honestly don't see myself getting to a normal level of fear of spiders even if i get help from thing like exposure therapy. whenever i see a spider i have to get a family member to kill it and they get annoyed at me because of my fear and think i'm too paranoid and i am too dramatic about something that won't even hurt me. i know that spiders most likely won't crawl on me when i'm sleeping but i am still so terrifed. although this fear is worse at night, i also feel it during the day as i have to check around the shower before going it, i have to look up at the ceiling around the dinner table before a eat, i'm anxious to sit on the the lounge room couch when i'm home alone in case a spider comes out from underneath, and i also do a quick scan of all rooms for spiders. this fear is getting a lot to handle and i'm not sure how to ask my parents for help as they do not have this fear so it is hard for them to relate and understand how i feel.
I've been going though the exact same thing (I literally googled how to deal with this) a few weeks ago I was minding my own business when a huntsman spider started crawling up me from my bed. My house is also prone to spiders as it is old and it sucks because I have arachnophobia. I haven't slept for weeks after the incident and I also use a flashlight to check everywhere but even then I feel scared.
Oh that would be scary @Bakugokatsuki ! Have you noticed that your fear of spiders affects you negatively in other areas of your life as well? It might be a good idea to talk to a mental health professional and discuss possibly working on reducing this fear of spiders
Hi, that sounds traumatic I’ve also have similar issues I have a massive fear of spiders I had panic attacks towards even the small ones I’ve not seen a spider on my bed in years but yet the thought of one going on my bed or is in my bed and I don’t know or that in my sleep I could eat one or it could go in my ears has terrified me to the point where spiders are the only thing I’m able to think of before I sleep I picture them in my head and it scares me more I’m unable to lay my mouth on the pillow so it’s not easily accessible for spiders and my ears I have to check the pillow for no spiders then move my hair right out the way and keep my ear firmly in the pillow I’m not sure why I’m so scared hopefully someone has answers for us both
Hi @ZeodaOriginal ,
It sounds super distressing to have those fears about spiders, especially if it's affecting your sleep. I'm wondering if you've ever chatted to a doctor or a mental health professional about these feelings? I'm hearing that you're staring to have a lot of thoughts and worries about spiders especially before you go to sleep, that sounds like it would be really frustrating 😞
It's definitely pretty common to have a fear of spiders, but if it's interfering with your sleep and you're finding it distressing, or you there's definitely professionals who can help you reduce those intrusive thoughts- do you think you'd feel comfortable chatting to a GP or a counsellor?
I’m having this exact same problem. Everything you’re going through is the same thing I am. Last night I found 4 spiders and I killed 2 after 3 hours of hysteria and I found one of the 4 in my bed tonight and now I’m too afraid to sleep. I don’t know what to do anymore 😭
Hi @alybear040318 , that sounds super upsetting for you, has your fear of spiders been getting worse lately, or is this something that's been a problem for awhile for you? Have you ever tried chatting to a psychologist about these fears at all?
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Hey @alybear040318 , I'm so sorry to hear that your family weren't very supportive when you told them about your fears. The good news is that there is definitely help available for these kinds of fears - I think @Taylor-RO 's suggestion of having a chat to a GP about it is a good one, do you have a GP that you think you could talk to about this?
If you don't think you'll be able to see a therapist where you are, eHeadspace could be a good option for you - have you heard of them at all? You can connect with them online, for free one to one counselling with a clinician, you can check that out here if you think it could be helpful.
Another resource that could be helpful is MoodGym-
they have online modules that can help a lot with working through phobias that are really practical, and evidence based. It's completely confidential and it's all online, so your family don't need to know about it if you're not comfortable chatting about it with them.
Thank you! I haven’t heard of them but I’ll definitely try it out!
Hey @Alec29 it sounds like there is a lot going on for you at the moment, and these feelings of fear and worry seem overwhelming.
Thinking of you - how are you doing today?
Also are you getting support from anyone at the moment?
Hi @Alec29
I am not sure how exactly how to help you. How about buying those mosquito nets than hang over your bed? For the bed itself get some double sideded tapes and tape the edges of the matress and also the legs of the bed.
The nets should stop anything falling onto you and the double sided tapes will stick the spiders if they try to come up the bed.
In any case are you seeking help with this phobia?
