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Re: Lonely

Well guys its the same old same old...I see people smiling at each other and talking and it makes me feel indifferent....I believe its because they will think I am a douche bag because I am a attractive person I hate to put it like that not trying to sound cocky at all because I'm so very humble and never think like that but it's the truth ive heard it from people before " I thought you were going to be a asshole " but I'm the nicest person ever I feel like I'm being punished. I've tried smiling at people but its nit working I guess I dint get out much but when I do I feel like I'm just aimlessly going to places hopeing something will happen and maybe someone will talk to me but it doesn't happen I guess this has mad me reserved and shy bit I am working on attempting to talk to others because waiting around obviously isnt working and I want to fill this void bad. All I do is go to the gym at the moment, I'm signing up for classes hopefully that will get me out there. Idk sometimes I feel like I will die alone....ik this might sound like I'm crying about something dumb but to me its very real, help me out yall how should I approach someone and attempt to get closer to them I'm not very good at it from all these years of isolation.?? Just tired of the isolating lonelyness and feeling indifferent when ik I'm the same and I am a really nice amazing person ik my self worth but it seems like no one ever sees that...and I have no one to talk to about it except for you all thats why I reached out
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Re: Lonely

Well guys its the same old same old...I see people smiling at each other and talking and it makes me feel indifferent....I believe its because they will think I am a douche bag because I am a attractive person I hate to put it like that not trying to sound cocky at all because I'm so very humble and never think like that but it's the truth ive heard it from people before " I thought you were going to be a asshole " but I'm the nicest person ever I feel like I'm being punished. I've tried smiling at people but its nit working I guess I dint get out much but when I do I feel like I'm just aimlessly going to places hopeing something will happen and maybe someone will talk to me but it doesn't happen I guess this has mad me reserved and shy bit I am working on attempting to talk to others because waiting around obviously isnt working and I want to fill this void bad. All I do is go to the gym at the moment, I'm signing up for classes hopefully that will get me out there. Idk sometimes I feel like I will die alone....ik this might sound like I'm crying about something dumb but to me its very real, help me out yall how should I approach someone and attempt to get closer to them I'm not very good at it from all these years of isolation.?? Just tired of the isolating lonelyness and feeling indifferent when ik I'm the same and I am a really nice amazing person ik my self worth but it seems like no one ever sees that...and I have no one to talk to about it except for you all thats why I reached out.
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Re: Lonely

Hi @JoshP, it's nice to hear back from you Smiley Happy Congrats on signing up for classes and taking the first step! Also, it's not dumb at all to worry about dying alone, I feel like many people think about that as well.

Everyone on this thread has given some pretty great suggestions. With approaching others, I think that the more you do it, the easier it gets. The biggest thing that helped for me was probably doing a lot of volunteering involving fundraising and approaching people. I sort of got used to the rejection (which there can be a lot of) and it made going up to people a bit less scary (although I still do get nervous!). It was also helpful to have a purpose I'm passionate about (e.g. raising awareness or raising funds for a charity), so that there was something I could focus on and talk about.

Before class, maybe you could try coming up to someone who isn't busy, say 'hi' and introduce yourself. For me, I'd probably then ask them something general like what they're studying or what they think about the class. And the conversation can flow from there, like a give and take. If it gets a bit awkward and you're not sure what to talk about next, asking questions to learn more about the other person and the things they like can help the conversation go on. If things don't work out well the first time, that's okay! There are so many others you could talk to and practice helps. So what are your thoughts on this? Smiley Happy
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Re: Lonely

Hey! Welcome to ReachOut Smiley Happy I completely understand how you're feeling, and I agree it's not the best feeling to experience. Sorry to hear you're feeling upset Smiley Sad It's important to realise all of the gerat qualities that you have and can bring to others in your life. Even if you go out and network and meet new people you can always add value to their lives! Unfortunately we can't always be 100% positive everyday, so it's important to acknowledge the bad days and be kinder to yourself. Those bad thoughts are just that. Thoughts. Try your best to stay active socially, regardless of what your mind tells you and see how you go Smiley Happy

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Re: Lonely

Hey @JoshP, how have you been?
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Re: Lonely

I know exactly how you feel.. I'm a 20-year-old guy at university. I'm a good looking guy but I've had a lot of social anxiety and depression in the past. After about 4 years of feeling like that, I attempted suicide in January of this year. Therapy and antidepressants have been helpful since then.

 

I go on to websites like tinder and look for literally anyone to feel close to. If you met me IRL, you would have no idea I'm like this. 

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Re: Lonely

Hey @CookieDough, that is a really important thing to point out. Mental health problems do not discriminate whether you are wealthy, attractive or successful. Sometimes people forget all about this but you can never know what is going on for someone. I am glad you have found some things helpful in dealing with all of this. We are here to listen Heart. As another user mentioned, feel welcome to post your own thread!