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Lonely

I am so alone..nothing is wrong with me I am good looking a very nice person I feel like I would ve a awsome friend or companion+ relationship....sometimes idky I'm going through this pain of being so alone what did I do wrong why do people seem intimidated by me I really dont understand...I hate this alone feeling no friends no girlfriend I dont feel lice ever and thats not how a 23yr old should feel. I know to some people this might sound dumb but its so real to me idk what to do anymore I know I am a amazing person I have everything but yet I have nothing and no one notices can someone help me please?
Fee

Re: Lonely

Hey there @JoshP, I am very sorry to hear you're feeling this way Smiley Sad but I honestly think you have come to the right place to talk. There are a lot of people on this forum ( including me) who are here to listen to you and distract you and you can even make new friends here! Just know that no matter how lonely you feel, there are always going to be people who would love to get to know you Smiley Happy

Re: Lonely

Hey @JoshP and welcome to ReachOut.
Do you go to univeristy or TAFE? I'm not sure about TAFE, but I know that univeristy has groups all around the campus that you can join.
Making friends can be really hard. Going to groups is a good start making friends. Are there any groups in your area that you'd be interested in joining?

Re: Lonely

Hey @JoshP! I think @Fee and @N1ghtW1ng have given some great suggestions about developing your social circle! It's not always easy and a little nerve-wracking to meet new people, but it can be so worth it in the long run.

Just going off of a previous suggestion, feel free to introduce yourself on the forums Smiley Happy

Re: Lonely

Hey @JoshP Thanks for reaching out- I know it’s not easy to talk about this stuff. It can be really tough feeling as though everything is alright on the outside but then things don’t feel too good on the inside Smiley Sad I know a lot of people can relate to this. You’ve definitely come to the right place and I want you to know you’re not alone! Some really good suggestions have been made so far like joining groups. Tell us a little bit about your interests or hobbies? There might be something in the community that you can go to with people who have similar interests to you. Makes it a little easier to make friends when you already know you’ll have something in common with someone Smiley Happy

Re: Lonely

Hey @JoshP. Welcome to ReachOut!

 

It sounds like you're not feeling too great right now. Please know that we're a friendly community and we'd love to get to know you and provide you with some support. Thanks for posting on here. It can be really tough to talk about this stuff, but you've done the right thing.

 

Do you have any hobbies? What kinds of things do you enjoy doing? Maybe you could join a group of other people with the same interests.

 

Hope you're doing okay today. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Smiley Happy 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Lonely

Hello @JoshP,

 

Age does not matter nor should it dictate how people should feel. Smiley Happy Being lonely and isolated? I do not think this sounds dumb at all. Many people feel alone even when they are in a crowd and admitting your loneliness is a step in the right direction. The next step is reaching out and you have already started that by talking to us on ReachOut.

 

The thing is, we often feel intimidated by people who we think are better than us, whether this is in looks or intelligence. Perhaps there are people who wish to approach you, but they think you would reject them. People do notice you, they just do not know how to react to you. I do not think you are doing anything wrong, perhaps try smiling more and looking more approachable. Make it easier for them. "If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done".

 

What are your interests? Join a club that fosters people's passion for that subject and it would open opportunities for you to talk to people with common interest. Try to go to social events and talk to each and everyone, you might find that not only will it make you happier, but people will more likely approach you next time if they have seen that you are friendly with everyone.

 

Do not forget that you still have your family behind you, you do not have to have many friends or a beautiful girlfriend to feel loved or needed. Do not make the mistake of making friends with just about anyone to fill the void, you deserve people who will care for you, and that the feeling of trust and security is mutual. Go with your intuition.

 

I am very glad that you have some confidence in yourself. Well, if you know you are worth it, then show it to the world! Do not be afraid to put yourself out there, "You can't stand in your corner of the forest, waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes". Sure there are times when you will be nervous, times you are turned down and times where you get hurt, but if you do not take a risk, then how will the people who are worthwhile know to risk it on you?

 

If you have any more problems, talk to me. I would be more than happy to help you. Smiley Happy When things get difficult and it looks like nothing will work out, keep trying. "No pain, no gain".

 

 

Winter_Rain

 

 

Re: Lonely

Thanks for all the help you guys.
Winter_Rain yes your absolutely right people dont approach me because they judge me based on what I look like and I really dont understand but then again in a way I do. I dont really try to talk to people if so its very brief bit I do need to actually try I recently joined a gun and I am going back to school hopefully I can make some connections that feeling I get after I come home hurts and I'm tired of it its serious and it's been like this for a long long time ik I am a good person and I'm capable and likeable I just need to put myself out there and not be afraid of rejection anymore...but that first step is always the hardest. Ik I have family and its a different kind of love they show me and I accept it and love back bit I guess I'm looking for something else....and I'm way past the part of just trying to be friends with anyone I don't want to be used anymore and invest so much time and emotions into people that could care less I did that for awhile and it just made me worse. But you are absolutely right I need to make that step and start approaching people and girls I'd like to talk to and oh well rejection will come and so will acceptance and I just need to try you absolutely right. I havnt been trying but from now on I will I promise because I dont want to be lonely anymore it hurts.

Re: Lonely

@JoshP we actually have been thinking about this a fair bit lately and decided to make a live chat about it. Sorry about the short notice, but if you feel like jumping on, or having a read and adding your thoughts a bit later, then you can find it here Smiley Happy 

Re: Lonely

Hey @JoshP Smiley Happy

 

I think it's really great that you've been considering putting yourself out there more to meet new people. I know loneliness can hurt a lot... sometimes when I'm having a particularly tough time, it feels like my heart is being squeezed and all I want to do is cry.

 

I just wanted to check in, how are you going?