cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Moving back in with my parents... again!

Hello everyone, I am new to the forum, and I intend to take full advantage of all the different features, such as bigger fonts and

  1. numbered
  2. lists
  3. here

But anyway, onto my current predicament:

 

Last month I decided to move out of my parents' house during the COVID-19 pandemic, while still on centrelink, to a sharehouse in a close suburb for 150 per week. I was operating under the assumption that if I moved out I would be motivated to look for a job. It SORTA worked, in the sense that I have been actively looking for work, but it has also been quite stressful. My housemates are polite, but they're quite distant, and I've noticed myself waking up every night at 4am feeling anxious. I also woke up screaming one time and they didn't do or say anything, just pretended they didn't hear me. I know it can be awkward to deal with that but I still felt horrible, and alone. I think part of the reason I moved out in the first place was because I felt constricted in my parents' house, and also because I barely discussed the decision with anyone. I am confident that if I ask to move back in my parents will be okay with it, but it will be awkward because my sister took my old room.

 

I guess I don't have a specific question, I just wanted to articulate my thoughts on this matter, and feel like im heard.

Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

Hello @hobojohnson, welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story! I am sorry to hear about your current situation and how you have been feeling stressed and anxious. It sounds things have been quite challenging for you lately. Heart I think you showed great independence by moving out of your parents house in the middle of this pandemic! You have proven that you can live independently and keep yourself afloat whilst searching for a new job. That can be a very hard thing to do!

 

I am sorry to hear that you have been waking up in the middle of the night and feeling quite anxious. Have you had a chance to talk with someone about why you are feeling anxious? You might find it helpful to talk this through with someone (such as a trained counsellor) as they may be able to support you through this. Just in case you were not already aware, you can speak to a trained counsellor over the phone for free at Kids Helpline, Beyond Blue, and Headspace (to name a few). 

 

I understand your hesitancy around moving back in with your parents, it might be a difficult thing for you to consider, but it may also be what is best for you right now. The decision is completely up to you though. Have you had a chance to discuss the option of moving back in with your parents? You may also find it helpful to let them know some of the reasons why you would like to move back in. Hopefully you can come to some arrangement with your parents that suits you and your family. Please feel free to keep us updated Smiley Happy

 

 

Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate the advice. I haven't talked to my parents but I did talk to my sister, and right now im contemplating moving out to a boarding house. I currently feel hesitant to ask for advice from people, so I have set myself a 21 day challenge to ask for advice online, offline or via the phone!

Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

Hi @hobojohnson, it is great that you are considering some of your other options. It sounds like you are in a pretty difficult situation. How did the conversation with your sister go? It is amazing that you have set yourself a challenge! I really like that idea. Is there any reason why you are feeling hesitant to ask for advice? And in regards to your challenge, is there anyone you have asked for advice so far? Heart
Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

My sister was supportive and said it was okay if I move back in. I feel hesitant to mention moving back home because I want to be independent of my family, and Im worried of feeling like a bother. so far for advice I've talked to the beyondblue support line, and went to two meetup groups where I asked them for advice on a job that would suit me. I am slowly letting go of the belief that asking for advice bothers people. I also told my mom today, and she said she would be okay with it. My biggest concern is that now in my parents' house my younger sister has her own room and I don't want to take that away from her!

Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

Hey @hobojohnson I've just been reading through your thread and catching up on what is going on for you. I just wanted to say that you're making huge strides forward, when it comes to asking for help. I feel like a nuisance when I need help sometimes so I get where you're coming from, I always have to remind myself that needing help is completely normal and people also like to help. 

 

I'm glad your sister was supportive, do you think she could help you chat with the rest of the family about how things have been for you recently? 

Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

Thank you for your encouragement. I don't feel like a family discussion would help. I want to talk to people who would listen, but right now im not sure where. I do use beyondblue's hotline, but I think a real life person would be better. 

Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

Hello @hobojohnson, I understand your desire to talk to someone in person as opposed to over the phone. Sometimes it can feel quite different talking to someone in person and this can be helpful! Although, some places might still have restrictions in place because of the virus. Were you in touch with a counsellor or psychologist before the virus? If so, you might be able to get in contact with them to organise a chat Smiley Happy
Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

Hi @hobojohnson! Welcome to the forums!

I think that you showed a lot of independence in moving out of your parents' house. It can be so hard to leave a place that we're used to being in. But I'm sorry that it has been quite a stressful experience and that your housemates aren't very communicative. Smiley Sad
I think it's great that your sister and mum were supportive of whatever decision you want to make. Well done for reaching out to other supports too! Smiley Happy
Would you feel as though a video chat with a professional would be better than contacting a helpline?

Highlighted

Re: Moving back in with my parents... again!

I have a psychologist booked in September, and I talked to some people in person too!