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Narcissism

Hi everyone,

I don't really know where to start with this. I just want put this out here to unpack my thoughts which are racing at a billion miles an hours and are preventing me from sleeping. Basically, for many years I have struggled with my sister and dad. They are both extremely volatile people and seem to not really care about others in the sense that they are hugely selfish. I have known for a long time that they have mental health issues but have never been able to put my finger on what it was. Obviously they have anxiety but their moods and selfishness are so extreme that I believe there is something else there. For a couple of years I thought they may have bipolar disorder, however, my sister went to a psychiatrist who said she did not have it. I was so confused. I had been convinced that her and my dad's rollercoaster moods and her explosive rages must have been bipolar. However, I then read over the behaviors associated with bipolar and realized they didn't quite fit. The behaviors listed did not take into account their tendency to blame others and avoid taking responsibility, their obsession with how others perceive them, how they manipulate others (such as making people feel guilty) to get what they want, their sense of entitlement, their envy and extremely sensitive egos. That's when I stumbled across upon Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I was shocked at how well their behaviors lined up with the DSM's classification. Also I have read that anorexia - which my sister has - is one of the mental health conditions that can be comorbid with NPD. I know that I am not a psychologist and therefore cannot say for sure if they have NPD, but it is shocking how similar their actions are to the behaviors used to diagnose the disorder. Unfortunately though, I doubt either of them would ever admit to having NPD (which I guess is also indicative of them having NPD) or go see a psychologist to be diagnosed. Also I have read that it can be difficult for psychologists to diagnose someone with NPD as the person can be very deceptive and want to make sure they are admired in public (so therefore act in a way to put their best - and usually fake - self forward).

I wish there was a way for it to be confirmed or denied that my sister and dad have NPD, so that I could finally understand why they act the way they do. But I really doubt this would ever happen, so I guess I am just left wondering.

 

What are your thoughts?

Jardin
JardinPosted 14-01-2023 03:55 AM

Comments

 
Jardin
JardinPosted 14-01-2023 11:55 AM

Also, I told my mum this morning about how this could possibly be what my dad and sister have (as we have been trying to figure it out for years), however, she was really dissmissive. I feel like she often makes excuses and tolerates my sister and dad's behaviour. All I know is I will never tolerate that sort of behaviour, as I never want to be in a dsyfucntional relationship like she has with my father. She might be okay with being treated that way, but I am not. Nor, I hope, I ever will be.

 
 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 14-01-2023 03:29 PM

Hi @Jardin,

 

Thanks for sharing. I am really sorry to hear that your dad and sister act in selfish and volatile ways. It must be difficult to experience that type of treatment from your family. It sounds like you are worried about them but also want to find ways to deal with the situation to protect your wellbeing. Do you talk to a professional about your concerns about your family?

 

Unfortunately, we can't speculate as to what type of disorder they may or may not have. Even if we did, you mentioned that they would be unlikely to seek treatment anyhow. What can be more helpful is focusing on the behaviours that are impacting you and finding a way to manage their impact, rather than attaching them to a particular diagnosis. This could look like focusing on what you can control about the situation or environment. 

 

It is really great that you were able to chat to your Mum about it, even if you didn't get a particularly helpful response. It is amazing that you are clear on what type of behaviour you are willing to tolerate as that is a really important skill to develop.

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