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Re: New episode of illness (tw)

Maybe it would be a good idea to open up that line of dialogue with your OT? Tiredness and exhaustion are very much issues that OT's have ideas and tools to tackle, and potentially overcome.

I'd also really advise against deflecting or diminishing how you're feeling to your health professionals as they use the information you tell them about yourself and your condition to help make treatment as helpful as possible. By saying it's just leg pain they might wrongly attribute how you're feeling to something unrelated or irrelevant.

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@Andrea-RO I was able to talk to her, we ended up staying at home and just talked.

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@Tiny_leaf  I'm sorry about your pain, the blood test, the lack of support and your feelings of exhaustion and sadness. Smiley Sad I can tell that you've been going through so much. It all sounds so tiring and stressful. Heart

I just wanted to say that I'm constantly in awe of your resilience and ability to self-reflect. Those are really amazing qualities to have. Smiley Happy

I hope the test results come back fine. I know it would be good to identify what is causing your symptoms, but it would also give you peace of mind to rule out anything serious.

I hope you get to see your school psychologist. She sounds really helpful. Smiley Happy

Is there anything that has helped you in the past when you feel like you're about to start having an episode of depression?

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@WheresMySquishy thank you. Heart


The bloods were to check for rarer and less likely possibilities (all of the rarer and less likely possibilities going by the amount of blood they took), I don't think that they'll come up with anything but I'll find out next week.

My OT actually brought up FND today, she's worked with a neurologist who specializes in it and was able to give me her name! So hopefully I'll be able to get that checked out soon.


In the past I was really bad at recognizing episodes, so I'd sorta just crash and burn for a few months and somehow get out alive.. 

Good news is that I'm on antidepressants now and doing a lot better, so there shouldn't be any issues with safety, but bad news is that I don't know any good ways to cope with episodes starting because I've never really had any good ways....

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

Hey @Tiny_leaf 


It can be so tough not knowing what is going on with your bodies. It's good that the doctors are checking for other conditions though... even if it means super long blood tests, haha. You're doing so well throughout this all Heart. Continue being strong. Hopefully you'll get an explanation sooner rather than later Heart. We're here for you. 


Ah. I'm sorry that getting help was so hard for you the other day. It really sucks when things don't go your way. Can I just say that it's awesome you tried though!? @WheresMySquishy was so right to say you're resilient. 


You mentioned having an issue with accessing Headspace help. I'm not sure what you had an issue with exactly, but I thought I'd share this link with you. Under "find a center" there are a list of suburbs. Click on a suburb near you - make sure it is the correct one for your state. From there you will see a phone number. Try calling that number if you can. Otherwise there should be an email address you can try too. I'm not sure if you tried this already but just thought I'd share in case you hadn't. I'm guessing you'll have to book an appointment with a GP to get a mental health care plan to see a mental health clinician. If you're unable to do it, or feel to tired, or scared, or whatever it may be... you could try asking a parent or guardian for help? Thinking of you Heart



Re: New episode of illness (tw)

Thank you @Maddy-RO 


I have a bit of an idea what's probably going on, the main thing is just ruling out the most unlikely possibilities, so there's not much worry or anything, just a lot of waiting. Smiley Indifferent


I... can't do phone calls. I just.. can't..

So many mental health services are almost impossible to use without a phone call but I don't have the "right" problems to use the national relay service so I can't even access like 70% of them and every single time I try I get told I have to call them.... 😔

I'm getting so sick of khl's cheery little "you can always give us a call!" line because I fucking can't. More people need to understand the whole "accessibility isn't just wheelchair ramps" idea...

(I'm not angry at you at all btw. just frustrated trying to use services)

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@Maddy-RO okay I think I've finally landed on a headspace page that mentions in passing what the emails are for. (it's somewhere in here: if anyone else needs to know)

That was a fun "adventure" Smiley Indifferent
Anyway I've made a bit more progress.  And am now going to track down some chocolate....

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

well... my options seem to be either lying to headspace to convince them that my illness isn't too complex for them, or to go back to the organisation that fucked up my view of 90% of medical professionals and bordered on abusive/ neglectful.


I know @Andrea-RO said not to lie to health professionals but I can't see any other way of getting help.

I have to be so careful to say enough that I get help, but not so much that I get forced into another harmful lot of "treatment"

I wish I could see someone I can be honest to about what's actually happening.

I-I need the chance to be vulnerable and then see everything turn out okay.

I feel so helpless rn....

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

Hey @Tiny_leaf 


I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so helpless.  However, well done for navigating through the headspace website; sometimes websites can be confusing regarding how to access the exact service we want.  I understand if phone conversations are difficult for you.  Thankfully, some services have webchat-based counselling.  KHL and eheadspace and khl have webchat services here and here.  Have you tried these before?  Hopefully they can also you to be vulnerable and honest; whilst offering you additional support 


Again, well done for noticing signs that you were feeling down.  This awareness shows real insight Heart  Please continue to 'reach out' on this Cat LOL as we really value your contributions. 





Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@TOM-RO I can be vulnerable over text (like here)

But khl just tells me to call them to get more support (and won't listen when I say I can't)


I definitely need longer term therapy, but my issues seem to be a bit more complex and long term then what headspace is meant to handle. 

(headspace is a "tier 2" service. I need tier 3 or 4. My only tier 3 option is the place that really stuffed up my treatment and caused me to go backwards. My tier 4 options all seem to be hospital, which also basically undid a lot of progress I'd finally made)


I can't be vulnerable to them because if I am I'll either be refused treatment or forced into the place I was in before.

But I still really need their help...


I seem to fit the exclusion criteria for so many places...