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Psychosis

No one really talks about it. Or wants to talk about it for that matter. 

 

It makes me feel like I'm crazy and a freak because I have episodes where my perception of reality gets flawed and I lose touch with what's real and what's not. No one understands how scary that is. Coming out of my latest episode it's made me realise how much I get lost and I don't know the way back. I lose me. 

I want people to understand it's not my fault that I get psychotic. I want people to know that I don't understand it when they tell me what I think isn't real. I want them to see that I'm scared and that I feel small and that I need help. I want people to hear me and tell me I'll be ok. 

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Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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Re: Psychosis

@redheadthis is a very powerful post, and one that I hope a lot of people read.

I've been on the other side of the picture before. I've been the healthcare worker dealing with the psychotic patient. The patient who, although you try, can be really hard to relate to, because they're sometimes so out of touch with reality but don't realise it.

Then my sister went through her first episode of psychosis. It honestly opened my eyes a lot and helped me develop more empathy and understanding. Psychosis doesn't mean you're defective, or crazy, or you've done something wrong. Perfectly wonderful people develop it and we're still not entirely sure why. Sure, you may lose touch with reality, but the world that psychosis creates is still absolutely real from your point of view.

 

It's a scary place to be, and you absolutely deserve to be heard Heart

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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Psychosis

(It's a little bit of a tangent, but I also wanted to point something out from my post: "psychotic patient" is not person-first language. More about that here. I phrased it that way because sadly, it's still a common way of referring to people in society, and was honestly how I thought of people with psychosis before I trained in mental health. We need more empathy in the world Heart)

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No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Psychosis

What is psychosis?

Re: Psychosis

@redhead thank you so much for starting this thread. Such an important thing to talk about. And your reflections on your own experience of psychosis is really insightful. Heart

As you've said, it's not your 'fault' you experience psychosis, and it can be a really painful / confusing time when you do. I'm sorry you encounter people that are not supportive, and make the situation even more difficult. 

As @lokifish has said, experiencing psychosis does not mean you are crazy, or broken or anything else - it's just something you experience, and something you survive. You deserve to heard. 

 

And thank you @Jesssister2001 for asking what psychosis is! It is something a lot of people don't know about. We have an article here answering what very question! What is psychosis? 

In short, it's when someone experiences thoughts, feelings or beliefs that change how they perceive reality. It varies from person to person, and it can be quite distressing. Have  read of the article, and let us know if it answers your question Heart

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I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Psychosis

@redhead i can really empathize with this post..... it is something so intense and so real to experience and it is normal for people to want to talk about their experiences but when it comes to psychosis no one wants to talk about it they just want it to go away....

 

whenever i am coming out of an episode i feel so confused and overwhelmed like my whole world has been shattered and everything i knew gets taken from me it is like coming back into a whole different world even though that is now the "real" world. it is so hard to explain to people how real it is how it changes everything around you. it is like a dream only you dont get to wake up. then there is the embarrassment and confusion you feel when you tell someone your thoughts and they give you that look.... like you are crazy and scary. 

 

i dont think the stigma around psychosis is fair at all the media makes people think psychotic people are dangerous when mostly they are no more dangerous than anyone else. 

 

i have just come to accept that my world and everyone elses world is different it doesnt make either any less real or valid they are just different.... i must say though sometimes psychosis isnt scary for the person experiencing it when i was manic once i felt wonderful i thought i had magical powers and felt invincible and that didnt scare me at all but it did scare everyone around me especially when things got even more intense... the police were called and i dont think the police are the right people to deal with that sort of situation they scared and confused me even though they were trying to be nice it makes you feel like a criminal when you are taken to hospital by police. anyway it is a hard thing to talk about but it shouldnt be and we shouldnt have to fight to have our experiences heard.  

Re: Psychosis

As @lokifish @gina-RO said, this is such a powerful and important post @redhead and I think it's really important to acknowledge your courage for sharing @redhead @Eden1717 @lokifish.

 

It sounds like it can often be quite a scary, confusing and isolating thing to experience Heart

 

I also think you're right @Eden1717, unfortunately the media, movies etc has perpetuated a lot of myths and unfairly stereotyped people with mental health difficulties, particularly those who have experienced psychosis. This is why posts like these are so important, as they help others to really understand and empathise.

 

Re: Psychosis

@redhead what does it feel like to experience psychosis?

Re: Psychosis

@Jesssister2001 psychosis is different for everyone.
For me psychosis is like I'm trapped in world where I don't know what's real and what's not. Everyone tells me what I believe and think isn't real and I get angry and confused. Even when I'm well I have a level of psychosis because I believe aliens communicate with me and stuff. When I'm unwell they tell me bad things and I really believe it and start acting on what they say. The last time I tried to end my life was because I believed the aliens would kill my dad and my best friend if I didn't end my life first. It's not always that bad however. For me psychosis is really scary because the aliens are evil and want to control and eventually kill humanity, even if that's one person at a time. I see and hear them a lot and in bad episodes I get really distorted thinking about the things thats going happen. When I come out of bad episodes I don't remember it that well and get confused because reality changes and I'm not sure if I'm lost now or was in my episodes. The Dr's and professionals I see try to help me identify reality and meds help. But sometimes even that gets confusing.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Psychosis

Thank you for such a powerful explanation @redhead. I agree that this is something that needs to be spoken about more, and viewed with a lot more empathy.

// Spiral outward, keep going. //