Hey Chookanator, I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling. You are strong and you can get through this, one step at a time.
First and foremost, get rid of any objects you use to hurt yourself, so you won't be tempted. When you feel the urge to self-harm, try distracting yourself by channeling that energy into something else. It could be loud music, screaming into a pillow or snapping a rubber band on your wrist. If you have an iPhone, download the DBT Self Help app for more ideas on how to cope when the urge strikes. You don't have to let this control you and you don't deseve to be in so much pain that you want to end your life.
I urge you to keep discussing this with your counsellor and youth worker. If you feel like they don't understand, give Kids Helpline a call on 1800 55 1800. The have counsellors available 24/7 and you can remain anonymous.
Please keep checking back in with us and let us know how you're coping.
Welcome to the forums! Sorry this reply is a bit delayed, I've been moving and really busy, but when I saw your post I really wanted to reply.
I'm sorry to hear that your school counsellor and youth worker didn't help very much - are you still seeing them? It could be useful to look into trying to find someone else to talk to - there are loads of people out there who can help, and you deserve to have someone who you connect with and feel is helping you with these struggles. Ellebelle suggested Kids Helpline which is a great place to start - they can talk you through things & continue working with you if you find someone you like there, or they can help you find someone who works for you.
I think it's really good that you are aware that self harming doesn't help solve what is going on for you - it takes some people a really long time to recognise that (it definitely took me a long time) - so to be able to realise that shows that you're quite mature and self aware about what is happening for you. There are heaps of other ways to cope with the emotions you've described other than self harming, it's just a matter of finding what activities/distractions work for you.
There's some really fantastic self help modules here that I hope you take a look at - I don't self harm anymore but I've found them really helpful to read through just to remind myself what strategies I have to avoid engaging in self destructive behaviours… You can work through them at your own pace and take whatever you feel fits for you and leave the rest. They're definitely worth a look. There's also this page which has a step by step guide to identifying your triggers and finding new coping techniques - if you scroll about halfway down, there's some really useful distraction ideas depending on how you're feeling (like whether you're feeling intense emotions, anxious, disconnected or angry).
I hope we hear back from you about how you're going - it's really great that you've come onto the forums and reached out for help, and this is a fantastic community to connect with other people who are going through similar things in their lives. Take care
I too have gone down the path of self-harm and did so for many years but its been over 5 years since I've been tempted so there definitely is light at the end of the tunnel. There is so many other ways to express yourself that you may even find a passion in.
I've had many reactions from people as to why I self harm. My parents thought it was attention seeking and hormones, my counsellor thought it was stress from school. I had one friend mention that it looked like a dog attacked me and not self harm and that I was stupid for doing it because our other friend had more of a reason to do it. That was by far the silliest thing I've ever heard to this day.
For 1 no one has more right over anything else when it comes to how you feel.
2 there should be no reason to self harm
But if only it was that simple.
I found what helped me was starting to help look after friends kids and helping in my church nursery, I decided that I didn't want them around that. So whenever I felt like hurting myself I would go and take care of someone else.
I'm not going to say chin up, it'll get better because that's too simple and easy to say. What I will say is how strong you are to come on here and just by doing that you want to help yourself. And like Gail said you're aware that's it's not helping so keep up that thinking and good luck
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