Stress, Mental illness and Substance addiction... please help!:(
Thanks for reading my forum!
I just joined this forum today, and I feel confident to share my story and problems here:) Since English isn't my first language, so I apologise if I mistype something!
I have been suffering from mental illness
(eating disorder and depression) for 8 years now, and recently I started depending on overdoing pharmaceutical drugs. I use it for relieving stress, especially those caused by mental illnesses and study at uni. However, I want to stop using it as I feel drugs doesn't help me with anything but damaging my body and mind.
I feel shameful, guilty and angry to my self not being tough enough to defeat this addiction
I've been considering seeking help, but I'm too scared to tell my truth to GP or counsellor. I don't want to tell my parents too, because I love them so much and don't want them to know I'm having issues. They've already supported a lot with my eating disorder in past.
Do you think seeking help (GP, or any support services etc.) is a good idea? Any advice would be great for me.
thanks so much!
Comments
Hi @Nancy33,
That is really awesome that you feel confident to share your story - it's great to have you here 
Feeling shameful, guilty and angry must be super draining, and it's understandable that you're stressed and finding ways to relieve this stress. Is there anything else you like to do when your stressed that makes you feel calm?
It's really cool that you are taking the control back and have decided that you want to stop using pharmaceutical drugs, good on you for taking that step and reaching out here for support.
You said you're considering seeking help but you're unsure what support to get, it can definitely be hard sometimes to know what would work best for you. A GP can definitely be a good starting point, would you be interested in maybe seeing a different GP? Other services including eheadspace (or a headspace centre near you) or Kids Helpline could be another good general starting point.
If you're looking for something more substance specific, perhaps you could check out the Alcohol and Drug Foundation.
Would any of those be of interest to you?
Its lovely to hear how much you love your parents and that they supported you with your eating disorder, I understand you don't want to worry them, I'm wondering if there is anyone else in your life you would feel comfortable talking to about what's going on for you?
Hey @Nancy33 , i just wanted to echo what the others have said about it being really brave that you're considering getting help for substance use 
I really resonated with what you said about feelings of shame, guilt, and self-anger. When I've struggled with substance use those feelings have made it really hard to open up and ask for support or accept help. That being said you definitely deserve compassion from people -including yourself!
Going to talk to a GP about stuff like this is pretty daunting. but if it helps I was pleasantly surprised by how non-judgemental the doctor i saw was. I know not every doctor reacts the same way to everything, but something that can be helpful/reassuring to remember is that they've seen and heard everything before! 🙂
Sending lots of support xx
Hello ecla34
I'm glad that you understand my struggles, and thanks for your advice!
Yes, asking for support or help is hard, because I tend to worry about others would judge me or think that I'm crazy. But I also think seeking help is very important for recovery. I was hoping that I can find someone who can be trusted and provide some advice about my issue. Right now, I'm thinking of seeing my new GP, she is a lovely woman and always show respect to me. Maybe I would seek help from her.
Again, thank you so much for your reply. I will check out the link for live chat you mentioned in the reply as well.
Just wanted to jump in to echo what others have said here @Nancy33 Opening up about any kind of substance use is really hard to do. There's a lot of emotions attached that need to be worked through to get to the point where you feel like you can tell someone. Please know that you are not alone in this experience and there are people out there who are really passionate about helping people recover from addiction.
I thought I'd share this group with you SMART recovery have lots of info, resources and support groups for people getting through addiction. Check them out here if you like. They have online groups, so if you want you could even join, mute your mic and cam and just listen in and see if it's for you 🙂
Of course, we are also here to hear you out and give any support we can.
Hello, Bre-RO
Thanks for your understanding. Yes, it's pretty hard for me to open up to someone about substance use issues. I'm always afraid of if they would judge me or have negative thoughts against my condition. But I'm glad to hear that there are also people happy to help those people with mental health/ addiction issues
I'm happy to join the SMART recovery group! I think it sounds great for me to start connecting with others and explore things that might help me with mental illness/ addiction management
Totally! @Nancy33 The judgement is scary to open yourself up to when you're in such a vulnerable place. The more people who are brave enough to speak up, hopefully the less stigma there is around using substances and more clear help for people who need it. I'd love to hear how you go with the SMART recovery group too - I hope it's helpful 🙂
Hi @Nancy33
That's no problem, and welcome to the forums!
That sounds really hard...
It's good that you can tell that it isn't helping you though.
Addictions aren't something that you can beat just by being strong. A lot of people need to have a solid support system in place first.
I think seeking help is a really good idea, and if you trust your GP, they sound like a really good place to start.
Your counselor could also be really helpful.
If you can get a support system around you, they might be able to help you through this. You don't have to do it alone.
Thanks for your reply, Tiny_leaf
Yes, I might consider seeing my current GP. She knows about my pre-existing mental illness, and I feel like I can trust my GP.
Your comment "You don't need to do it alone" reminds me of how I used to carry pressures and stress on my shoulder and trying to solve them by my own... It's true that going through tough times without anyone's help is difficult, so I might not take risks this time!
I might also start seeking support services around me
again, thanks so much for your advice Tiny_leaf!
