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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

 
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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

@Bananatime04 Let me know if you need anything.

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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

Thanks @Tiny_leaf I’m just checking if my post was actually okay to post (I’m waiting for the email)
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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

@Tiny_leaf I’m trying
I even spent like all my money on AirPods today and I don’t even care. I don’t have a job anymore so now after spending 320 bucks on something that I don’t even care about, I have 40 bucks left and I still don’t care. I don’t care. I brought them so I can listen to music at school with my hair down and no one will see the cords, in hopes that this will make my thoughts a bit quieter.

My thoughts are so strong and I’m having a sort of conflict conversation in my head. I can’t stop thinking. And I can’t vent to anyone

**TW**
I hate when I say I want to die and someone replies with “no you don’t want to die, you just want the pain gone” like fuck off, you don’t even know what I want. I don’t want to be happy, I don’t want money, I don’t want a job, I don’t want to make a family, I don’t want to be here and the thought of only being a 5th of the way through this ‘life’ is so hard to think about because if I live a full life I’ve got ages to go and I am so impatient. It’s too stressful, it’s not like I asked to be here. What if I wanted to be a duck? Why can’t I be a duck? I hate being a human, it’s horrible. I hate living this life I have. BUT when I think about being in a box under the ground one day forever that’s scares me even more than being alive so I’m not going to do anything. I don’t know what to do, I’m so bad at life.

I’m safe
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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

That sounds really hard @Bananatime04...

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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

I am sorry to hear about everything that has been going on for you lately @Bananatime04. I think buying the headphones as a way for you to distract yourself from unhelpful thoughts is a good idea. I hope you don't end up getting in trouble at school though! I know that you mentioned that you can't vent to anyone, but I think it would be helpful for you to get some of these thoughts of your chest. Are you still able to talk to your school counsellor, or maybe someone from KHL? Thanks for letting us know that you are safe too. I understand that life can be really stressful and hard at times. Hopefully these feelings that you are having will get less intense soon so that you can feel a bit better Heart Are you doing anything nice tonight to help yourself feel better?

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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

Thank you @Sophia-RO and @Tiny_leaf Heart

I just want a hug Smiley Sad but I have no one
A lot of people at my school wear AirPods and go on their phones. They’re really disrespectful but I’m only using mine on low volume to try keep me in the real world.. So I can actually get something out of going to school

I don’t really want to see the school counsellor anymore, I can’t talk about big things with her because she has to tell my mum but I guess I can still call my kids helpline counsellor tomorrow after school, she’s working then. Thank you

I hope these feelings pass too Smiley Sad
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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

Where's your puppies @Bananatime04? Could you give them a little snuggle? I can imagine how many kids are using their Airpods and just listening to music for the wrong reasons, it sounds like you are using music in a relaxing, purposeful way, which I think is really awesome ! It is definitely your choice to continue/not continue seeing the school counsellor anymore. It sounds like it suits you better to talk to your KHL counsellor at this time anyway, so that is a fair decision! Do you have anything enjoyable planned for this weekend?
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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

@Sophia-RO thanks Smiley Sad
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Re: TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

I’m not calling my khl counsellor