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Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

You're welcome @xXLexi_Lou122Xx
Sweet Smiley Happy Maybe having a look at some of them next time you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, or trying the ones you've posted?

I hope you have a restful sleep tonight Heart

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

Yup!
Goodnight. Smiley Happy

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

image.jpgHow I feel right now...

I’m safe right now, but I can’t help  but feel this way. I desperately want to talk to somebody, but I just found out that my special person, Nikki (changed name), is on holidays in Europe, and another one of my leaders won’t be there for the first few weeks. I don’t know how I’m going to cope. 

 

No one knows that I have thought “I’m sorry for being alive”. I don’t want to tell my mum, because she’ll make me see a counsellor or someone. They won’t help me. They never do.

 

I feel so alone, and I have no one with me. Holidays are putting so much pressure on me. 

 

 

 

Why do I feel this way?

why do I want to cry and feel loved? 

 

I don’t know what it’s like to feel loved anymore. My people are leaving me, and now everything is going wrong.

 

I just need someone to physically hold on to. I just need to be vulnerable. But I have no one to be vulnerable with. Nobody to cry into. It’s always gonna be the same. I will always be alone. Even when I need someone, they won’t be there when I need them. It’s how it always goes. 

 

 

 

No matter what I do, I will always be alone. I can’t escape that. I have had to live with this for ages! All my life! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just want just want to be okay again...

                                                                           to be loved...

                                                                                                       And to feel like I belong.

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx Smiley Happy
Sorry I haven’t been here for you lately.. I have been looking over the forums but haven’t actually tried to login because I wasn’t even sure if I could.
Seeing your post just then, made me feel as if I was hit by a brick in the face to wake me up and realise I’m not alone.. that means you aren’t either! Hearing your words felt like I was reading my own story. I feel exactly the same (I’m also safe btw)! Like Nikki, my counsellor is also away and I have been very lonely lately.
I am so heartbroken that I can’t be there for you in person and be the person that you need Smiley Sad I really would if I could
But hey.. you’ve got some talent in art! I have been drawing all day today for the first time in years! Do you feel like putting how you feel on paper through drawings gave you a sense of release with your thoughts and emotions?

I also wanna let you know that you are loved by this community and we’ll always be here for you! ❤️
Everything will be okay Smiley Happy

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

Hey @Bananatime04!

That is the best reply I’ve had all this time. Thank you. I needed to hear that.

Well done on helping me!

I know. Being lonely isn’t fun. But sometimes we can’t help it.

I wish I could be there for you in person too.

That’s pretty cool! Are you willing to post any drawings? If they’re within the guidelines that is...

Thank you! I do try my best at it.

I have tried that, whenever I felt bad, but it just doesn’t help all the time. I need to physically hold on to someone, and cry into their shoulder, when I’m in a state like this. Otherwise drawing works a lot!

I know. And thank you. I’m proud of you for supporting me!

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

Aw thanks @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 🥰
Ah I sent an email asking if it was against the guidelines a while ago but I gotta wait till tomorrow to find out.. so maybe 🤷‍♀️
I’m not the best artist.. I haven’t drawn a picture in years lol
How long until nikki is back?
Thanks Smiley Happy

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

Oh okay, that’s fair enough.

Lol.

Nikki isn’t back for awhile. I don’t actually know when she left, or when she’s getting back. Right now she’s in Ireland.

No problem.

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

I have to go to bed now, but thank you for the little chat!

I really felt better after reading your reply, and I can’t wait to speak to you again soon!

Good night @Bananatime04! Smiley Happy

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

Goodnight @xXLexi_Lou122Xx sleep well! Smiley Happy

I’m Happy to hear it made you feel better!

Re: TW: How to deal with friends leaving me, and all the stress of assignments, family, and bullying

I feel a bit better, but I don’t want to feel alone anymore.

It doesn’t help that I started to have a dizzy spell this morning. Even just laying down makes me think of how I worried multiple people with my syncope episodes. I keep thinking of my teacher, on sports day. We’ll call him Mr James.

I can even describe the event of my syncope. The voices I heard, and everything that happened while I was unconscious.

So, I was running the 400m sprint on an empty stomach. I didn’t eat breakfast, and the lunch bell didn’t go when it was supposed to. I make it to 3/4 of the race, and then suddenly collapse. I fell, and I don’t remember if I hit my head or not, but I was definitely not completely out.

I hear voices in the distance, but unable to move or speak. Mr James, is at my side. He kept yelling “Squeeze my finger! Squeeze my finger!”. I wish I could’ve, but like I said, I had no movement or awake at the time. Even though I could hear them. The school based police officer was also there, on my other side. She is nice. There was also another teacher, but I don’t know who they were.

If you can imagine me, in an uncomfortable position on the grassy running track, in this situation, you can probably see how this can be daunting and how I get flashbacks about it.

I’m scared it will happen again, but in front of my favourite teacher instead. My favourite teacher, is my gym teacher. She understands me more than anything, or at least enough to know what I need at the time. And she knows what to do if someone does end up doing what I did.

But still, I can’t help feeling scared about it.

Anyways...
Life just seems so hard. I still have all these appointments to go to soon, and other tests.

I feel so alone, and everything just isn’t right. Not even my special people can make it right. Being with them for a while at youth is nice at the time, but then I just feel worse again afterwards. Being with them is what makes me happy. When I’m alone, just isn’t right.