cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

TW Re: Social Isolation

Yes, sometimes I do get violent urges, like believing that toxic people deserve to die in order to save many other lives that they’ve made miserable. It’s not fair that such mean hateful people crush innocent people and make them want to die when they are the ones who should be dead. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, especially when the few don’t deserve anything.

The other night I had a horrible fight with my family that turned physically violent. I had no choice but to attack them due to a panic attack, because I cannot for the life of me think straight in overbearing situations. I’ve made up with them since then however, but I feel that is a perfect example of my repressed rage. Lately I’ve felt like everything in life has just become too hard to the point where nothing is worth all the emotional pain...

Highlighted

TW: Re: Social Isolation

I don’t really feel like many people feel the same way I do, probably because they’re so silenced and oppressed all the time. This disdain for the hive mind of hate and cynicism was the reason I deactivated my Twitter account a few months ago, since it is an absolute cesspool that turns people into horrid, pure evil demons. But sadly, that’s just one layer of the rotten onion that is society.

I agree that artists tend to be my favourite people because most of them I’ve seen are nice and non-conformist, but of course some artists can be toxic too, like those who waste their talent on what is called “hate art”, which is what it sounds like.

Recently I’ve had a horrible experience with a fandom that I feel ashamed to be a part of. This fandom has become the very definition of what I hate about society, oppressing other fans for their opinions, because they are the only ones allowed to have those and they are so obnoxiously loud they need to ruin the franchise for everyone and drive people to suicide. There used to be a video on Youtube about toxic fandoms but sadly that video seems to be deleted by the creator. And it’s because of the horrible experience that I’m turned off from enjoying the series because how dare you casually enjoy anything these days. Oh no, every little thing needs to be made so painfully hard!

Highlighted

TW: Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento, it's sounding like these intense feelings are really tearing you apart lately, and I'm really sorry it's something you're going through.

 

Is there anything that helps you to cope with these feelings? Would it be worth considering unpacking them with a professional (or is this something you've tried already)? It sounds like it's really hard for you to deal with, and like it might be starting to spill over into your relationships and affect them too. It must have been scary feeling so out of control with your family- I'm really glad you were all able to work it out though. How was that for you?

 

To an extent I get the frustration and sadness and anger about some elements of society, or sometimes certain sections of it. Here's a few things I do to handle those feelings:

 

-Try and give people the benefit of the doubt and trust that they probably aren't motivated by malice. Remind myself that they're human, with needs, and the full range of human emotions, and people they love, and probably their own dissatisfactions with society they're trying to manage

-Consider if there's ways for me to offer them other options to the way they're acting, and try and work with them if possible

-Try and limit my exposure to witnessing things that make me really sad about the world when it's too much for me. (It sounds like you've done a great job of this by stepping back from Twitter!)

-Increase my exposure to things and people that make me happy about the world, and remind myself of the positives

-Talk my feelings through with trusted loved ones

 

Are any of those things you do too, or interested in trying? Or have you found anything else useful?

 

I hope you feel better soon <3

Highlighted

Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento 

 

Everything sounds super tough at the moment and I am sorry to hear how much anger you have been feeling, and the physical fight with your family would have been really scary and overwhelming. I am glad that you were able to work things out with your family.

 

I have been reading through what has been happening for you and I can really hear how passionate you are about having positive influences in your life and removing toxicity! I can relate to being overwhelmed by all the negativity in the world, especially on social media. Ethical pain is something so many people experience, myself included, and its difficult when you feel like the only on going through it. It can be really disheartening when you go to groups and they have a negative undertone, I am so impressed by your awareness and making choices to remove yourself from those situations.  

 

How are you feeling today?

Highlighted

Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Yesterday I had my orientation at a Tafe where I’ll be doing a graphic design course. It seemed promising and I hope I’ll have a good time there; before I was nervous about it and I still am, but yesterday helped me feel a bit better.

However, no matter how many prospects I have for this year, I’m afraid I’ll be forced to hold myself back because of my worries that have control of me. Of all the things I worry about, which is pretty much everything, I am most dreading the US Election season this year, because I just know that people everywhere are going to create drama and be extremely bitter and whiny. I have bad memories of 2016 when in school I had to deal with people’s hateful attitudes, which resulted in me having an absolutely miserable year and has only continued to bring me down ever since. Logically I should not have to worry about this because it’s not my problem to start with, but I feel that society makes it my problem by shoving it in my face, harassing me to the point where I have to worry excessively about it. Having bad, negative attitudes accomplished nothing, and society can’t seem to learn that so they’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes, and I am worried that the election news will plague my year as it did last time. I want to be able to enjoy my year only worrying about the things in my life I can control, but I have been told that I can’t do that because I have to dedicate all my time to worrying about things I can’t do anything about.

Highlighted

Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

There seems to be a lot of positive things happening for you this year, @Bento - Congratulations on starting a graphic design course! But I also hear that you're pretty worried about getting caught up with external stressors from others or society. It's definitely not easy trying to stay informed with what's happening in the world while protecting yourself from possible intense or negative reactions. However, it sounds like you've really thought about what you want - How could you stay focused on this and think about the things that are happening in your life?

Highlighted

Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

I don’t know, but I think the first step is to find distractions. Of course it’s still really important for me to discuss issues because even when something good is happening, I can’t shake the feeling that we’re just pretending things are fine instead of addressing issues in a healthy way. I would like to find the right balance between being apathetic to bad things happening and letting it completely destroy me.

My goal for right now is to take my artwork to a convention to sell; I forget if I brought that up before, but it doesn’t matter now. I’m trying to save up money to afford a booth at one of the conventions happening in June, and then I need to save up to get my art printed. I’m both excited and uncertain about it; it’s gonna be quite expensive to do, but it’s not about making a profit for me, it’s just about sharing my work and being a part of something I think is really special.

I also might be able to go to Japan as part of a group tour in I think the next year, if things work out. If that happened it would be so surreal and exciting for me, going to Japan is something I’ve wanted to do for years and it would definitely be a highlight of my life. But I just feel like I should wait until next year when I’ve got my life more sorted out, because I’ll feel like I don’t deserve such a big holiday when I’m doing nothing with my life.

I’ve also subscribed to Audiable to listen to audiobooks since it’s easier and more convenient for me than finding time to read so many books; I’m most interested in self help books, like one called ‘Calm the F*** Down’ by Sarah Knight, which is about coping with overwhelming anxiety and worrying, which is perfect for me. I have to listen to it soon, I hope it helps me.

Highlighted

Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Well done in identifying the first step as finding distractions @Bento Smiley Happy Sometimes the first step is the hardest to figure out. Would distractions include listening to Audible and selling your artwork or are these your interests? Regardless, I hope you find the audiobook helpful too! I know lots of people regularly enjoy self-help podcasts and audiobooks. You mentioned that you would like to find a balance between apathetic and destroying. How would you identify which side you are sitting on at any given moment? It might help to reflect on this to center you so that you are able to be conscious of maintaining that balance. Japan sounds like a really super exciting opportunity. Holidays aren't just about giving yourself a break - you are allowed to travel simply because it interests you. It sounds like a great idea if you it is going to be the highlight of your life as well Smiley Happy

Highlighted

Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Well, this is my second week at my Tafe course. I had problems with the timetable, because it changed on me and no one told me, so I ended up missing two days of class already because I didn’t know there was class on Monday. Also today I got frustrated that my work was inferior to everyone else’s; all their art looked so perfect while I was really struggling and in the end my work was sub-par. I just hope that I get to prove myself with art subjects that I’m better at, but of course this should be a place where I go to learn and develop these skills. Fortunately, I’ve had no issues with anyone in class, everyone there seems fine. I haven’t really reached out to anyone yet because I don’t know what to do, but just being in a pleasant class environment is good enough for me.

Highlighted

Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Also, I have to register my interest for the artist alley at that convention soon, since the deadline’s next month. (Can I say the name of the convention?) I have the amount of money it costs saved up, but I’m having doubts. I’m not sure if my artwork is good enough, or if anyone would buy it. This is something I want to do because it could be a real opportunity for me, and maybe even a great way to socialize and feel like a real part of the artist community, but I’m not 100% sure. What do you think of my art