TW: Things kind of feel wrong
Hello. It's been a long time since I have posted on the forums. I took a long hiatus I guess.
I feel kind of down about a few things. The main one being that I am reaching 26 years old and I don't feel ready to move on from being a 'young person.' It means I won't be able to contact Kids Helpline for support any more or go to Headspace, both of which have been a huge part of my life since I've been 18. I have a few months to go. And I really really hate it. I don't know what support groups are out there, or if there even are any for people my age and if they're free like the Headspace groups. Same here with Reach Out. 😞
I'm so scared of this concept of 'growing up' even though I have been adulting for years now. I definitely don't feel like I'm successful or whatever. I'm still taking medication for anxiety and depression. I got out of my suicidal slump from just over a year and a couple months ago, which I know is great. But can I say that things feel right? Not all the time. I still get sad for what seems like no reason out of the blue. I still get anxious about going to work when I have it. I still feel like ultimately I am not good enough. I still have this deep sadness about my relationship with my parents and past trauma that's happened. It's a lot.
I don't really know why I am even posting this. I more feel like it's my brain having word vomit that needs to come out. Things just don't feel right and I don't know why and I don't know what I need or what direction I'm heading in. It feels like a mess. I guess I am afraid of spiraling down into some dark mental health hole and then I won't have those people to turn to that have helped me so much. It hurts. It feels almost like grief, because I feel like I'm going to be losing people. 😞 and I'm sad..
Comments
Hey @mspaceK I’m sorry to hear this 
it seems like these services are really important to you and have given you a lot of support over the years. I can understand why you feel a sense of grief and loss. Since posting this have you looked into any other services for support?
I have found a thread about ageing out of services that you might be interested in here (I hope the link works) and that there is an upcoming “Ask Me Almost Anything” session with a guest who will talk about this and you can ask questions that you may have?
I also heard last hear that a Headspace for adults is in the works - I haven’t heard too much about it but it could be something to keep an eye on!
Hi @WinterCalvino . I haven't looked into other services but I have booked in my GP appointment.
Also I did happen to stumble across that link the other night so I am interested. I'm not sure about what questions I could ask though.
That sounds awesome about the possible Headspace for adults.
@mspaceK It's good to hear from you again. Thanks for updating us about how you've been going. 
I will really miss chatting with you on here when you turn 26. It can be bittersweet to transition out of services. It can also be difficult having to adjust to new supports, especially if you've been with your old ones for so long. Eight years is such a long time. 
Something that could make the transition easier is if you ask to be referred to services that are similar to the ones that you're currently seeing or ones that are affiliated with them.
Thanks @WheresMySquishy .
Not really feeling the greatest tonight. Feeling down about job hunting failure among other things. Things still feel wrong and it doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to help it. Feeling pessimistic. 😕
It can be so deflating when you can't find work. Do you think employment is still hard to find due to COVID? I know some of my friends have found it hard to get back into work.Did you get up to much today?
@Taylor-RO I have a casual job with some shifts here and there but nothing consistent. It gives me anxiety not knowing when I'm working and I'm not earning enough to be able to move out with my partner. These random shifts make me super anxious and I'm struggling with feeling confident when I am at my casual job.
I've been applying and searching for a full time job since mid 2020. The pandemic definitely didn't help in some regard but overall I don't know. I feel like no one wants me. I know I shouldn't take it personally because so many people are job hunting. I just wish something would come my way and I can stop feeling so stuck and crappy. I don't know how to be at peace with where I am and not stress so much about it. 😞
I just had a casual shift today and also watched Netflix.
Hey @mspaceK, I dont believe we have met yet, so it is nice to get a chance to talk to you 
The world of casual employment can be super unsettling, I can completely reside with those feelings of struggling due to random shifts and never feeling secure in life in a way. Always being on a job hunt can be very stressful, and sometimes the best opportunities come when you take a step back and let yourself breathe and reset your goals for a short period of time. Have you had a chance to do this since you began job hunting mid last year?
It is really great that you have been persistent in your goals with moving out alongside your partner, and wanting to push yourself into a career change! Did you complete studies or have you have a direction of career path you are looking into for the full time employment?
Good things take time, and sometimes taking a chance to soak up the luxury of having casual shifts can be nice 
Hi @Kaylee-RO . It's nice to meet you too.
I re-edited my resume over the past couple days and now I'm going to apply for some new jobs in the same field that I have studied. I know I enjoy this field of study, just getting a job is really hard. I've also been considering upskilling, but I cannot afford to do the courses at the place(s) I want so I need to have a consistent income to even consider that.
I'm also meant to be moving out with my partner and we can't until we both have full time work. Ugh - it's so stressful.
How have you been doing lately @mspaceK?
I really hope you can find a job. Thins are really tough out there at the moment, but I feel like any employer would be lucky to have you.
@mspaceK Same position as you. I've been looking for a job since late last year. I guess I'll put off my goal of moving out and finding a place for myself until I'm a fully qualified <insert profession here> haha
Seems like you have things to work towards. Wishing you all the best
@mspaceK I think that is a great idea, and it's always refreshing cleaning up your resume/cover letter, it kind of represents a clean slate for you to start again
It's great that you're looking for work in your area of study, do you mind me asking what that is?
Investing in yourself is always a great idea, but ensuring you are adequately supported is also important, so waiting until you are financially ready definitely isn't a bad thing!
Have you been doing anything nice for yourself during the big job hunt?
Hey @mspaceK, sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I'm about two months out from ageing out from here and will have little to no support (I'm on a wait-list for a psychologist and my family doesn't really provide any kind of support).
Have you looked into any support groups? Or, have you formulated any kind of action plan in preparation transitioning out of both Headspace and ReachOut?
Hey @hunginc - I'm really sorry you are in this boat. I hope the wait list speeds up for you.
I only have my friendship group and boyfriend and his family which is great, although I don't talk a lot about mental health with them. I haven't got an action plan yet but I am seeing my GP next week to do a Mental Health Care Plan.
Do you have anything planned over this weekend that might help you feel better?
Not really. I have work this weekend. Otherwise not much at all. Might work on my puzzle and play some video games and watch netflix.
I hope you have a nice weekend, video games and Netflix sounds relaxing. I spent pretty much 80% of yesterday watching Netlfix.
Hi @Taylor-RO . It's hard to describe how things feel like they are so wrong when nothing bad is necessarily happening. I mean I'm in a good place. I shouldn't be feeling down and sorta depressed and yet tonight and sometimes other times lately, I do feel like this. It feels like something is wrong and I can't fix it. I know my psychologist in the past has said to try and just observe the emotions and thoughts as they are and not see them as fact. Let them come and go. But still I don't like when I feel like this.
I think I'm trying to adjust to life out of that slump and with covid. My life doesn't feel normal and I think that is due to a lack of routine. I've been trying to get a full time job and that hasn't been working out so I feel a bit stuck. I also have been spending a lot of time in bed sleeping.
Also I've been feeling sick in the gut a lot recently too. I'm seeing my GP about it and have to do some follow up tests which makes me anxious but nit has to be done.
And with the aging out thread, you don't need to ask any questions. You can just share how you are feeling about aging out and what you might do to prepare. No pressure though, it can be a tough conversation to have.
I hope your GP appointment goes well
