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Trigger Warning: I think my brother raped me but I'm not sure

I am a girl, with a brother one year older. We're both in our early twenties. We're normal, I think. We fought a lot as kids and when we got older, our fight became more intense that we didnt even talk for months except for the barest minimum. It carried on to (young) adulthood. 

 

But learning now, I realized that a lot of what my brother did to me was abusive but too late, he was my world in childhood and I still has this slight brother complex.

 

I accidentally read his journal (okay sorry my fault for keep reading) and I know he tried to treat me better. But I also know that he did it out of family obligation instead of genuine caring. Even so, I think our relationship was improving. He answered when I talk and sometimes help me when I asked.

 

But then one day he started to hug me when I was asleep. I thought nothing about it since I think he was just trying to get close. But then he started feeling me up, groping my stomach and back when I was asleep, and continued to do so even when I woke up. I didn't understand. He never said anything. So I thought nothing of it because I'm still afraid he'll hate me.

 

But yesterday he went further and I was just confused and terrified. He didn't say anything and I didn't, too. But what should I say? Our parents didn't know about this and we will be in SO much trouble if they do. I'm confused. I don't know what to do. Do I feel happy that my brother wants me even though it's just for my body? Did he do it just because he couldn't find a girl to fuck and he thought I was willing? Was that a rape if I didn't say anything?

 

Will he hate me for this? Why do I still feel like I need his approval even when he doesn't take part in my life anymore?

Trigger Warning: I think my brother raped me but I'm not sure

hi @Tigercub 

what your brother done to you yesterday and also in the past is a form of abuse. 

he shouldnt have touched you at all except in the brotherly way and that doesnt include fingering or groping. often a 'normal' relationship is yes talking and the occassional hug but not like that. 

 

of course you were scared and confused! its not really a natural response from a brother. you wouldve been afraid to say anything because your his sister adn you dont want to ruin your relationship. 

 

i think that you should be talking to him and telling him thats not on esp since it wasnt consentual at all. 

 

 

im not sure if this would be classed as rape becasue he didnt penetrate you with his bits but this is a form of assault. 

 

your in your early twenities did you say? im wondering if you or your brother have had a realtionship before i mean like bf-gf (you could be lbgti but jsut as an axample of 'normal') 

 

@Bree-RO

 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Trigger Warning: I think my brother raped me but I'm not sure

I dont know how to even start talking to him. Our talk is so sparse that I think I never talked to him at all. Even when I tried doing small talk it fell flat within one or two sentences. He doesnt want to talk to me unless I'm asking him for help and he responds for just that.

 

Even if I do tell him, would he get mad because I 'led him on'? I mean I let him did that to me before. What if he got mad and told our parents? I'd be dead.

 

Also I've never had a romantic feeling before, so I dont know if I'm straight/others. But I know sexual things a bit. My brother had gfs in the past but idk if he currently has one. 

Trigger Warning: I think my brother raped me but I'm not sure

@Tigercubplease listen to me. you didnt lead him on at all. he is responible for his own actions and being 20+ he should know that was wrong. 

if your parents get mad then you need ot tell your side of the story. you were afraid, and confused and he done that to you. 

 

you dont have to be in a romatic relationship to know that brothers shouldnt be doing this to you. its not something you asked him to do nor did you consent. i think your parents wouldnt be angry at you not at all. i think it would be shock that your brother would do that. 

 

why would you be in trouble for him doing that to you. there is no reason for it at all. 

 

in regards to talking to him, i wouldnt be asking him anything. i would be telling him straight up that its not on and that it needs to stop right now. 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Trigger Warning: I think my brother raped me but I'm not sure

Hey @Tigercub thanks so much for opening up to us - this is a lot to process. Well done on being brave, jumping online and seeking some support. I want to recommend that you give 1800RESPECT a call as soon as you can to discuss this. They're completely confidential and very qualified - and free.  It's important you look after yourself & speak to a qualified support person.

FPWA is also an organisation you could have a chat to more locally.

 

How are you feeling now? Have you managed to chat to anyone close to you, if not your parents - a trusted friend? We're here to listen. Heart

Re: Trigger Warning: I think my brother raped me but I'm not sure

why didnt i think of them @Bree-RO

@Tigercub1800respect is really good and they have a website too

also Blue Knot foundation as well are really good too

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**