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Work problem

Hey, so I started an ABA Therapist job Dec 2019 working with one private household. I thought it would be great work experience/look good on my resume. Fast forward to now. I had a meeting with the parent I work with and it felt intense. It was a lot of "you've done all these programs wrong" and "this therapist is the strongest" (like comparing me) and she even mentioned how replaceable I was "we found a new therapist in 3 days and there are a lot of them out there". She was civil/somewhat polite but the content of what she was saying felt hurtful and at times unfair. I wasn't even asked about my experiences or to even explain anything.


I didn't know how to stand up for myself. i agree with some points she made but other points she mentioned like me doing an activity wrong wasn't even true... since other therapists she mentioned that were "strong with it" also would do them the way i did so i found that confusing. Basically she gave me a lot of feedback that i thought was unfair since there was a lack of communication on her behalf and lack of training for me.


So the dilemma is I know I want to quit. I dont' see a future in doing this job or working for them. The family is quite nice (i think they are very straightforward and have extremely high expectations) but after that meeting I realised I dont want to work in this job anymore. 


I don't know how to amicably tell my boss this? I feel like a job should be mutual where we both want to stay but i am just so fed up with the job (its nothing like i thought it would be). How do I tell my boss I want to quit without being rude?? 

Re: Work problem

Hi @wanderingwasp, I am so sorry you had such a hurtful experience with one of your clients. From what you have mentioned, it sounds like they already had made their mind up and didn't give you the chance to explain anything. That must have felt incredibly fair and upsetting to be on the receiving end of that conversation. It is totally fair enough that you don't want to work for them anymore - that is well within your rights. It is important for clients and employees to feel heard and it sounds like that wasn't happening for you.

There is nothing rude about quitting - you don't even need to give a reason if you don't feel comfortable. When quitting, I would just make sure you give them ample notice to be able to find someone new and observe any notice periods that you might have to fulfil as apart of your agreement/contract with them. If you aren't able to do that for whatever reason, I would mention it to your boss so that you can come to a mutual agreement about it. In general, I usually include something like 'thank you for this opportunity' etc. If you feel comfortable, you could give your boss feedback about the particular family that you have worked with, just so they are aware of potential issues that might come up with new employees. You aren't obliged to do either of those though (I know that giving feedback can be really confronting), whatever works for you Smiley Happy

Re: Work problem

Hi @wanderingwasp, this is a tough situation and I'm really sorry for that. Honestly, this is a situation that I constantly worry about when I enter the career in the future. But I think just telling your boss about how you feel and how it influences your mental state, and that might influence your practice competence should be fine.

Re: Work problem

Hey, @wanderingwasp I'm sorry that happened to you. @Macaria and @Taylor-RO gave some great suggestions to how/what you said when you quit. How do you feel about quitting now that its been 24hours or so since your post?

Re: Work problem

Hi @wanderingwasp   Heart


I hope you are feeling better, you should not have been treated in such a threatening and disrespectful way. Also, do you not see a future working with that family, or in that field of work in general. Because if it was the first and you just wanted to get away from those people, it could be worth discussing with your boss if there were other clients. However, if you just don't enjoy that work anymore after that experience, I still think it's worth opening up to your boss for some insight. To do things professionally probably also write a letter of resignation and say something along the lines of - "this line of work while has been a great experience was not suited well for what you were trying to accomplish and with the direction of your career".


I hope you get through this!  Robot wink

Re: Work problem

I'm so sorry that your work has put you in this situation! Smiley Sad

You said that you wanted to quit, but in a way that is gracious. I myself have quit a job before, and the best option is to tell the truth and say that you don't believe it is the job for you and that you are wanting to move on. Managers admire the truth and I believe that if you tell the truth, they will respect your decision. and like they said, they will be able to find a replacement quite easily, so you should not feel guilty for leaving at all! it is the best option for you and your health Smiley Very Happy