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Join an event. Happening today.

jumping back into life.

So I am starting a new thread because the new website format wont let me view my old thread past a certain number of pages so sorry if I am missing anything I think I caught most of it before it swapped over but anyway it was probably time for a new thread anyway. @MB95 @Lost_Space_Explorer5 I am tagging you too cause I think you replied before. 

 

anyway sorry I have been away, I went to my psychiatrist appointment and they said I had to go straight to hospital and I just got out today. I am super behind on uni now and really dont know what to do but that i am not going to think about tonight. a lot has been going on and I am now on a depot medication which I hate, I am seeing the psych again on friday and yeah idk where to even start. I will try and catch up on everything that has been going on here soon. 

Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 05-05-2021 03:39 PM

Comments (40 pages)

 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 21-03-2022 02:40 AM

Hey @Eden1717 I'm not sure if you've made any new threads it's a bit hard to tell on the new forums also I can't see past a certain number of notifications 😅 Anyway I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and I hope you're doing okay (or as okay as possible) ❤️ 

 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 08-02-2022 08:48 PM

I am having a really hard time everything is a mess and i am struggling to communicate and there is just a lot going on. i dont think i can even say what is going on here i just want to cry everything is too much and no one understands me. i thought i was going to write more but now i cant even do that. 

 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 17-02-2022 12:40 AM

Hey @Eden1717 I'm really sorry to hear about your rabbit 😞 And that it's been so tough articulating what's going on and it sounds like you don't feel like there's a point because you feel that no one cares or would understand? Has your sleep still been a struggle?

 

How have things been this week?

 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 17-02-2022 01:20 AM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  hey how have you been? i havent slept more than 3 hours a night in over a month. this week has been really hard.  i just want to cry and hide. i am just really scared all the time and i tried calling a helpline but it didnt help and i am just really not sure what to do anymore. 

 
 
 
 
Portia_RO
Portia_ROPosted 17-02-2022 01:30 PM

Hey @Eden1717 , I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling at the moment and only working on a few hours of sleep. Just so you know, we edited your post and sent you through an email to check in, so keep your eyes peeled 💗

 
 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 08-02-2022 10:18 PM

Hi @Eden1717

 

I am really sorry to hear that tonight is really hard. I can see why things feel like a mess with so much going on. It must be frustrating to struggle with communication and to be misunderstood by other people. Tonight sounds so overwhelming and difficult to deal with. Is there anything you can do tonight to try and give yourself a moment of peace?

 

We are here to listen if you feel up to sharing more.

 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 02-02-2022 05:14 PM

I am having a really intense week my rabbit had to be put to sleep and so I was crying a lot for one day or so and then the tears dried up and I just couldn't cry anymore. And I have had to move apartments and idk my mood is just super weird like I am mostly in a very good mood except sometimes I get very cranky and my psychologist said I was manic and idk what to think I just feel very busy like I am constantly wanting to talk to people and have been messaging all my friends a lot and I have been doing a lot of stuff between moving and I have been just doing a lot and I am not sleeping either like I am sleeping like 3 hours a night and I mean I don't really feel tired just busy and idk what to do like I am trying to just keep from annoying everyone but I feel like pressured to talk to people like I have to be talking to them and idk everything is just weird. Also my CM finally called and I didn't manage to tell her half the stuff that is going on like how I am an angel and I have psychic abilities and but idk why I didn't tell her at the time it was just like I was very distracted but idk oh well it is fine I feel ok mostly except when I think about my rabbit. 

 
 
Jennifer-RO
Jennifer-ROPosted 02-02-2022 07:03 PM

Hi @Eden1717

 

I’m so sorry to hear about your rabbit 😢 Losing a loved one is so difficult, and it’s a process that takes time, so be kind to yourself.

It seems you have a lot going on with the move and other things in your life. Whilst you have reached out to your friends, I’m sorry you feel pressured to keep speaking to them. Has anything happened to make you think you have to keep talking to them?

Definitely not a requirement, but it’s worth noting that you can also speak to Kids Help Line as well if you need to talk anything through with someone in the moment 😊

 

It seems like you have a lot to get through in the calls with your case manager – I know I often forget a lot of things when I’m on a phone call! Do you think you may be able to write a note for yourself so the next time you call you have something to focus on that has all the details you need to get through?

 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 02-02-2022 09:58 PM

nothing happened i just feel like i cant stop talking idk how to explain it. and idk if writing a note would help with talking to my CM. i dont really feel like kids helpline has understood me in the past so i dont really talk to them much. 

 

idk what to do i am trying to manage everything but it is hard and i am just really confused about what is going on. 

 
 
 
 
Portia_RO
Portia_ROPosted 03-02-2022 04:18 PM

Hey @Eden1717 , I'm so sorry to hear about your rabbit - I'll be keeping you in my thoughts ❤️

 

That's totally okay if you don't feel like Kids Helpline is for you. I think it's really awesome that, even though you haven't been able to tell them everything, you've still been keeping in touch with your psychologist and your CM while you're going through this. Even if you can give them 50% of the picture, that's useful and helps them to support you. 

 

You mentioned that things have been hard at the moment and that you're feeling confused. Is there anything that's been helping you to manage all these feelings? 

 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 29-01-2022 06:02 PM

ugh so much is happening and i just feel like everywhere i go i am being ignored by everyone. i try my best to support everyone else but when i need it no one is there and no one cares like am i just not worth anything to anyone ugh it is just making me mad and i cant even tell people how i am feeling because they will just get mad at me and ugh so infuriating. also i saw my psychologist who said i was manic but idk i am just ugh i want to scream and i am so fed up and there is just so much going on but what is the point explaining when no one cares. 

 
 
Courtney-RO
Courtney-ROPosted 29-01-2022 06:44 PM

Hi @Eden1717 I'm sorry to hear that so much is happening right now. It sounds like a lot to be sitting with right now so I just want to remind you that you're not alone. Did something happen that made you feel this way, or has it just been a particularly hard day? You mention feeling like no one cares or that you're not worth anything, but we care and we think you are worth so much. Is there maybe something you could do tonight to make yourself feel a little better?

 

Thinking of you 💜

 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 24-01-2022 10:37 AM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 and@Bre-RO the other person did have Covid and had to be moved to another unit but I have had to isolate all week as a result. 

I am really struggling with something and idk what to do I keep thinking that maybe I am not mentally Ill and that I am actually just psychic and that I shouldn't take the meds because the spirits don't want me too and idk what to do I know my psych would just say that I should take the meds but what if they are actually hurting me and I shouldn't be taking them and the spirits never wanted me to take them to begin with and they have I am supposed to do things for them and it is complicated and I only slept for 3 hours last night because I couldn't stop thinking about all this and I just don't know what to do and what is the right thing to do. 

 
 
Portia_RO
Portia_ROPosted 24-01-2022 12:14 PM

Hey @Eden1717 , I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. It sounds scary not knowing what to do or what the right thing is.You mentioned that your psych would tell you to take your meds but that you're second guessing if they're right. Have you spoken to them or your case manager about how you're feeling, or you're just pretty sure that's what they'd say?

 

Sorry to hear that you didn't get much sleep last night, I'm sure you're pretty exhausted after all this. What are you up to today? Do you think you'll have a chance to take a nap and catch up on some sleep? If not, is there anything else you can do today to give yourself a bit of a distraction from all these thoughts? 

 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 24-01-2022 12:39 PM

@Portia_RO I tried to have a nap and i couldnt today i am not doing much just trying to keep it together i might go for a walk later when it isnt so hot. the thoughts arent going away though even with distractions they are still there. and i feel really irritable and like agitated and like i need to talk and talk and talk and it is really frustrating because i have no one i can talk to and i just idk what to do. 

 
 
 
 
Portia_RO
Portia_ROPosted 24-01-2022 02:35 PM

@Eden1717 I think a walk sounds like a great idea, are there any nice places in your area to go for a walk? There's a bay near me and I usually like to walk there when I'm not feeling great, the water makes me feel a lot more grounded. 

 

I totally get why you'd feel irritable and agitated with all of those thoughts rolling around in your head. You said you feel like you need to talk and talk, so if you need a vent we are all here to listen and support you. What other kinds of distractions have you been trying? I know you said that they aren't really getting rid of the thoughts, but it's good to hear that you're trying to do normal things nonetheless. 

 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 24-01-2022 04:55 PM

@Portia_RO  yeah there is a river nearby and some other nice areas. I have been trying to listen to music, watch netflix, play games and a bunch of other stuff. 

 

i am just idk what to do i feel so weird and i was trying to decide if i should call my caseworker or not all day and now it is too late and idk what i would even say to them because even though i feel like talking nothing is coming out right and i cant write them a letter i can only call them so idk how i would even comunicate what i needed to to them and everything is just a mess and my head is all over the place and i know i am supposed to be doing stuff for the spirits and it is hard to explain but there are whole other worlds and places out there and i cant talk to my family about this and i am trying but idk what to do about the meds and i cant sit still and there is too much noise and my head feels like it is going to explaode and i just idk what to do and what is the right thing anyore and can i even trust my case manager or not i dont know and i am scared i wont be able to seep again tonight and my head wont i cant explain it properly everything is just too much. 

 
 
 
 
 
Kathleen_RO
Kathleen_ROPosted 24-01-2022 09:52 PM

Hi @Eden1717

 

Jumping in here to check in and say hi 🙂

 

Sounds like things are really tough right now but please remember we care about you and we are here for you. I think it's a great idea to reach out to your caseworker. You have people around you that care about you and your wellbeing. I think keeping them in the loop would be a wonderful thing.

 

You mentioned you want to reach out but you're struggling with knowing what to say to your caseworker. Even if your not sure about what to say your caseworker would be trained in this area and will know to support you best. ?You just need to take a small baby step and let them know what's going on for you.

 

Maybe if you find it helpful after your walk this evening you could compose a email or text message and you could use this as a script. If you can only call your caseworker you could leave a voicemail - it doesn't have to go into a great length of detail just mentioning something on the lines what you have mentioned to us here. 

 

You are incredibly brave to have been able share your story with us on these forums. 

 

How are you feeling after your walk?

 

 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 25-01-2022 01:01 PM

@Kathleen_RO i tried calling my case manager but they are away for the rest of the week and i tried talking to the backup person but that was a complete disaster and they didnt understand me at all and were of no help what so ever and now idk what to do everything is a mess. 

 
 
 
 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 25-01-2022 02:08 PM

Aw @Eden1717 I'm sorry it was a disaster with the backup person. I can imagine it would feel crushing that the backup person didn't understand you, and they weren't any help 😥

 

Since your case manager is away for the week, do you think speaking to your psychologist could help in the meantime? 

 

We are also here to listen and support you.

 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 17-01-2022 11:20 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5@Kathleen_RO  my holidays have been ok so far. 

 

I am really scared at the moment i have been forced into a shared living space for the next little while and the person i am living with has been coughing and sneezing and stuff and their boyfriend just dropped off a covid test and now i am all paranoid and scared and idk what to do i am too scared to ask what is going on but i am so scared i dont want to get covid and not here in this place where i am already super uncomfortable i am just really really freaked out. 

 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 22-01-2022 01:08 AM

Awh man that sucks @Eden1717 I hope you don't get covid it's no wonder you're freaked out. Are these people you know? I get scared by the idea of living with other people other than my family I don't blame you for being uncomfortable

 

How are you going today?

 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 18-01-2022 02:19 PM

Hey @Eden1717 long time no speak - I hope you've been doing okay. 

 

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling paranoid and scared about how to approach your housemate/getting covid. It wouldn't make it any easier that you're already feeling super uncomfortable with your living situation. 

 

Navigating conversations about covid can be so uncomfortable - I've had a few recently and I empathise with what you've posted here. 

 

How can we support you with this situation? Would it be helpful for us to share some tips on how to approach a conversation with your housemate about this? 

 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 20-12-2021 12:55 AM

Hey @Eden1717 I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I hope you're going okay- how have things been? 

Welcome back!

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