Weekly Wellbeing: What's your love language? - ReachOut Forums

Hozzles · ‎21-03-2022

originally posted on 16-12-2021 3:45 PM

Great minds think alike, I just had this idea for a WW only to see you had the same idea only recently! 😂

The idea of love languages is strong in my mind at the moment. A week or so ago I had a conversation with my mum about it, and it has changed everything. A lot of the time I have feelings that when I'm down maybe she doesn't care... but what I've actually discovered is that we have different love languages. Mine is more words of affirmation, and hers is acts of service. Learning this has been incredible. She always does everything for everyone, and goes out of her way to do it. When I'm down, the first thing she usually says is 'is there anything I can do for you?'. I've always been kind of annoyed about this because all I want is words of support, but for her that is the biggest and best thing she can do for me. I also think about how when I compliment her she shrugs it off, but when I even do a small thing like lifting the Christmas decorations from out of the shed she's all like 'AWWW THANK YOU!! You're the best thanks so much!!'. I always thought this was sarcastic or overkill (maybe dismissive of the things I can do) but it's absolutely geniune because to her, this is how she gives and recieves love. I feel like our relationship has gotten much better learning this, I always try to do little things for her now to make her job easier and express how much I care.

Anyway... apart from story time on an old thread 😂 question time!

1. What's your 'love language'? How do you show people you care? It can be any of the 5 'languages', a combination, or one of your own! 2. How can others show they care about you? What are you most likely to perceive as a genuine gesture of them caring? Is it the same as how you would show them you care?

Definitely words of affirmation, I think. It means the world to me to have someone tell me they're proud of me, or that I made them laugh, etc. Sometimes when I'm in a really bad place I swear it isn't geniune lol but the best examples are words that come out of nowhere + I didn't ask for. Words are the hardest thing for some people, and I get that. I always try to tell people how much I care in return.

Recently I've heard on TikTok that your love language tends to be the opposite of your most self-destructive quality... I find this to be very true haha I am so, so hard on myself and bad with negative self-talk. For my mum too, she always burns herself out doing everything for everyone. I've also heard a lot of people that love quality time tend to isolate themselves, etc.

3. Think of a way you can care for yourself today or this week using your own love language. Tell us what you will do if you feel comfortable! E.g. if your love language is physical touch, it could be as simple as giving yourself a hug!

Tell myself I've got this, I can achieve anything I want... man, even getting emotional typing this haha. Self love is sooo hard!

4. Do the same with picking a way to show you care about someone else! E.g. if your love language is words of affirmation and giving gifts you might like to make them a card telling them how much you admire them!

I've been more actively sending random messages to my friends expressing how proud I am of them. ❤️

Lost_Space_Explorer5 · ‎21-03-2022

originally posted on 08-07-2021 11:28 PM

I've loved reading everyone's responses so far 😄 So interesting how everyone is different in how they show and receive care!

I'm gonna answer my own questions now 😅

Questions 1&2 (for some reason I answered these together)

1. What's your 'love language'? How do you show people you care? It can be any of the 5 'languages', a combination, or one of your own! 2. How can others show they care about you? What are you most likely to perceive as a genuine gesture of them caring? Is it the same as how you would show them you care?

I think my love language is like a combination of like body language and speech. Like I have to see care in someone's body language to believe they care. And what they say to me? Also physical touch with my cats like I like hugging them and when my cats slow blink at me or they do the head bop thing or purr I feel loved? How I show people I care is different though! Because I can't show it lol 🤣 Literally I can't show sentiment. Ooh actually maybe I show it by making people 'gifts' or putting things in writing or like spending time with them and being comfortable with them. And with the cats I of course hug them. And sometimes I'll hug mum.

3. Think of a way you can care for yourself today or this week using your own love language. Tell us what you will do if you feel comfortable! E.g. if your love language is physical touch, it could be as simple as giving yourself a hug!

Definitely by giving myself hugs and trying to look after myself and talk nicely to myself. Which is kind of hard lol but I'll try.

4. Do the same with picking a way to show you care about someone else! E.g. if your love language is words of affirmation and giving gifts you might like to make them a card telling them how much you admire them!

I suppose I could try and spend more time with my family and also like more time talking to my friend because I've been avoiding that lately

Philippa-RO · ‎21-03-2022

originally posted on 05-07-2021 1:12 PM

My love language is quality time - nothing says someone cares to me more than them offering the gift of their time... I try to be mindful when I'm offering love that people's love languages are different, but I definitely tend to offer the one that matters most to me to others as well.
For self care, I will try to give myself some quality time - eg. take some time out to watch a favourite show, relax with a hot cup of tea or go for a gentle walk, and I'll try to offer some quality time to a loved one by suggesting we play a board game together. 😀

Anzelmo · ‎21-03-2022

originally posted on 02-07-2021 6:52 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 This is such a wholesome weekly wellbeing! 💛

1. What's your 'love language'? How do you show people you care? It can be any of the 5 'languages', a combination, or one of your own!

My love language is physical touch, and acts of service. I like being there for my GF and comforting her physically with hugs and cuddles, and I enjoy helping people and supporting them by listening to them and helping out in ways I can, and finding ways to compromise for my GF.

2. How can others show they care about you? What are you most likely to perceive as a genuine gesture of them caring? Is it the same as how you would show them you care?

I'm a firm believer in treat others the way you want to be treated, so I guess receive the same support that I give out?

3. Think of a way you can care for yourself today or this week using your own love language. Tell us what you will do if you feel comfortable! E.g. if your love language is physical touch, it could be as simple as giving yourself a hug!

I always like giving myself hugs, especially if I'm upset and stressed - I will hug this penguin plushy my GF got me and bury my face.

4. Do the same with picking a way to show you care about someone else! E.g. if your love language is words of affirmation and giving gifts you might like to make them a card telling them how much you admire them!

I need to work more on understanding the love language of those around me, and showing them support in ways that is meaningful for them. For my GF that would be working on my communication and acts of service.

ayrc_1904 · ‎21-03-2022

originally posted on 02-07-2021 6:22 PM

Such a good weekly wellbeing activity! ❤️

1. What's your 'love language'? How do you show people you care? It can be any of the 5 'languages', a combination, or one of your own!

My love language is acts of service. I show people I care by doing small things throughout every day to make sure their day is a little easier or a little better. My partner's love language is physical touch though so I try to make sure I give lots and lots of cuddles when I can so that they feel love in a way that they feel most loved. I also try to do little surprise gifts (mostly food because he loves food), and get dessert delivered to his house on days he needed a little pick-me-up.

2. How can others show they care about you? What are you most likely to perceive as a genuine gesture of them caring? Is it the same as how you would show them you care?

Others can show they care about me by doing acts of service and spending quality time with me. I find it really important to be present in the moment with somebody and really enjoy that time together.

3. Think of a way you can care for yourself today or this week using your own love language. Tell us what you will do if you feel comfortable! E.g. if your love language is physical touch, it could be as simple as giving yourself a hug!

I think I'll give myself a little self-care night and a break from the stresses on my mind. It's always good to have a chill night and zone out for a little.

4. Do the same with picking a way to show you care about someone else! E.g. if your love language is words of affirmation and giving gifts you might like to make them a card telling them how much you admire them!

I can't quite give cuddles because I'm in Sydney right now in lockdown 🙃 but I'll maybe send a surprise dessert delivery to my partner this week!! 😆

Portia_RO · ‎21-03-2022

originally posted on 01-07-2021 12:00 PM

1. My love language is acts of service. I like to show my partner that I care in little ways, like making her a cup of coffee in the mornings or making her dinner when she's working late and won't get a chance to eat.

2. People can show they care for me through small acts of service, too. When I'm busy or stressed, it means a lot to me when my partner or my sister offer to do some extra work around the house so that I have time to study or work. For me, practical help or a thoughtful gesture is just as good, if not better, than saying 'I love you'.

3. This week, I am going to show myself some love by ordering a takeaway while I get through my university exams. I don't feel like I have the time to cook dinner every night at the moment, so I'm going to be kind to myself and take a night off tonight!

4. To show my partner that I appreciate her, I'm going to give her a big hug today, because she appreciates physical contact and believes that she needs at least 8 cuddles a day in order to be happy and thriving 😂