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Spoiler. Hope this works..

***TW***

 

Okay I don't know where to start and am going to try so hard to put on my positive hat right now to try make this easier and less triggering but well we both know what I'm like with this shit too so well yeah I can't say I am gonna be preaching anything I say, nor believing it but here comes some random rambles from my brain to brace yourself, god knows what's gonna come spilling out.. 😂

 

But of course I read that silly. Isn't there some kinda rule to like Tiger yourself more when you're low? Idk there seems to be for me ahaha but anyway it hit me in the feels but yeah that isn't your fault at all and in a weird way it has kinda made me feel like I need to well I don't wanna say that but in a whacky and messed up way hearing you say some of that is umm yeah what's the word without saying what I'm not allowed ugh see my brain is not liking this much lol umm idk like shit what am I trying to say!?!? Who knows. Lets just say it was sad but nice to read and leave it there cause emotions are not great atm and I feel like this could end badly for thr both of us and RO doesn't like bad so we need to be good okay?! 😂 

 

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*there is no attachment and boundary breaking going on here at all, we are just being whacky and saying whacky shit right?* (like I said.. no I preach and believe this.. well.. 🤣) But no. We good. Nothing to see here lads, move on. Omg my brain is not making sense and totally overcompensating for this. Idk how much I can do sorry. The feels may take over but I'm trying hella hard here!!!!! 

 

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Now where were we. I hope they gave you a little giggle? Cause I really don't want you to be sad okay!! I feel like eachothers sadness is gonna make us more sad and well now I feel like I gotta add this here.. 

 

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Now firstly do NOT apologise about it being 'horrible timing' you are entitled to say how you feel and tbh I'm not a silly one and had a feeling that it would bring up some feels cause well we are so alike which isn't always a safe thing but yeah lol I just kinda knew and well the other day I ugh we won't go into it but I just wanted to give you a heads up because I know how much it's affecting me and yeah I am not in a good way atm so if I do happen to disappear for a bit its not me leaving for good okay just cause I am not safe to be around so don't want to well yeah anyway I promise I will say goodbye properly and like I am trying to make that soon but atm well yeah. This is so hard my brain keeps wanting so say stuff but its not allowed and omg this is frustrating!!!!! 

 

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I am really sorry that I upset you and that you didn't sleep well because of it. I honestly don't really know what to say that is gonna make it better cause yeah its kinda out of our control and I also wish RO had some kind of next step forum thing. I noticed they have one for parents and kinda felt so upset and left out because there isn't one for the people my age but yeah I get it its meant for the youngens and then the families supporting them but yeah it just kinda hurt reading some of the stuff and one of the staff members I feel kinda close too was on there and like I legit thought of signing up as a parent so I could somehow stay associated with the community ahahahaah but I know how wrong that is and now way am I popping out a human anytime soon. Stuff that shit!!! 

 

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But I get it about the moving to a new forum and tbh the only reason I'm gonna do it is if I can take some of you with me ugh actually I don't think I'm meant to talk like this ugh it's so HARD!!! But anyway I guess we are just going to have to see what happens. I actually have an account on sane but that was from like a year or so ago and I posted once and they basically told me I was on the wrong service and didn't bother to listen or anything so yeah I'm not a fan of them lol I read their response and hightailed it outta there and back over here where I actually felt safe and heard 😂 but anyway don't go looking for my account there cause it's orobs deleted and you wouldn't know it was me anyway but if I do go on some sort of forum I promise you'll be able to find me ahahaa mumma sloth already has her user name ready to go.. hint hint nudge nudge ahaha anyway I actually have no clue if this is considered in the guidelines so I might end that there but yeah if I do join a new forum I promise you'll be able to find me if you wish and even if you don't want to that it also okay and I understand because well boundaries hey? Not that I like them 

 

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*that's obviously aimed at the boundaries and not you 😂

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