Hey everyone! Is it time for another weekly wellbeing already? 😮 This weeks activity is all about facing your fears and/or tackling things you've been avoiding!
I don't know about you guys but when something scares me or is daunting, the more I avoid it, the harder it gets to address it. Avoidance can lead to all kinds of things, from procrastination to social withdrawal. It's common for us to feel bad about ourselves when we avoid things, but it's actually a very common and understandable thing to happen.
There's a reason why the more we avoid, the worse the avoidance and fear gets. Avoidance reinforces itself- when we avoid something, we escape from the fear or distress a situation brings up. Our brains learn that avoidance is a way of removing fear. But if we never actually face our fears, our brains can't learn that we actually can deal with the task we've been avoiding
But what happens when you do face the situation and endure it with intense anxiety? The thing about exposing yourself to a scary situation is you have to keep doing it, even if it's uncomfortable. We have to give our brains a chance to override avoidance learning, and this can take time.
Sometimes, even when we repeatedly expose ourselves to feared situations, the anxiety still doesn't decrease. That's why it can be helpful to challenge some unhelpful thinking patterns you might be experiencing. Additionally, our anxiety might persist because we are using safety behaviours that never let us truly face our fears- so we are actually still avoiding! If anxiety is something you're struggling with, we encourage you to reach out to some professional support
So, for this week's wellbeing activity...
1. Pick a task or situation or worry you've been avoiding because of fear
-If this is a task/situation, it should be something that you actually want/need to do but anxiety is getting in the way
-You might also like to pick something that you don't avoid but endure with intense fear
- It's best to pick something small to start off with
- ⚠️ If this is an ongoing problem causing a lot of distress it might help to talk to a health professional rather than doing this activity ⚠️
2. Write down your predictions for what will happen if you face the situation/task/worry
-What scares you about this thing? What will happen if you face the situation/task/worry? What does it mean about you to be scared? Is there a more compassionate way you could look at your avoidance and fear? What evidence do you have that the feared outcome will happen? How anxious do expect to feel (as a percentage) when facing your fear?
-If you don't usually avoid the situation/task/worry, do you have any safety behaviours that you could drop to more fully 'face your fear'? E.g. you might wear headphones when outside because you're scared people will talk to you. Write your predictions for what could happen without your safety behaviour
3. Decide to face your fear or take small steps towards facing your fear
- e.g. If you are scared to make a phone call you could take a step towards this by writing down what you will say
- e.g. If it is a worry you're avoiding, it can help to pick the least distressing one first
- e.g. If you're wanting to drop a safety behaviour such as going on your phone when in public to avoid talking to people, you might want to cut down on time spent on your phone first
4. Face your fear- expose yourself to the task/situation/worry you've been avoiding
- e.g. Make that phone call. Start that uni essay. Ask for help. Or make steps towards these
- e.g. If this is a worry you're facing, try worrying as much as possible about this thing and see what happens. There is a technique called 'worry time' that you might like to look into
5. Note your observations
- Were your predictions correct? What happened? If you're having unhelpful thoughts about what happened, can you challenge these?
- What was your actual level of anxiety as a percentage? How do you feel after facing your fear?
- If things went badly, are you able to show compassion towards yourself or be proud towards yourself for giving it a go? How might you talk to a friend going through the same thing?
6. You are welcome to share your attempt at this wellbeing activity or your experience with it in this thread 🙂
Extra resources
- Here is some more information about exposure (facing your fears) if you're interested
- You can find more resources for anxiety here
IMPORTANT NOTE
If this wellbeing activity at all caused distress please don't hesitate to reach out to someone. Here is a list of supports
