Sorry you're going through this@MB95
unfortonately I relate to a lot of what you've talked about. Feeling dead inside, lost, confused, feeling nothing, disconnected numb. I was just thinking the other day I feel shut down
I just try to distract myself constantly. Mainly by watching Netflix, I love comedy shows. I'm currently watching the Big Bang theory. It's so hard to push myself to do stuff like tafe and work. But when I can do it, it's a distraction. And yeah lots of suicidal thoughts that often seem logical. But I remember the reasons I've come up with why I can't act on them, like hurting my family. And if I think of an attempt working, it actually makes me feel kinda sad. Which reminds me I don't want to die. I just want to escape this pain and illness and awful situation.
try not to beat yourself up for not being able to do as much as you used to. It sometimes takes so much strength to survive each day and I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for that. I left high school early because i needed to focus on my mental health. I have a cousin who had to leave work and uni because of her mental health. But you know what the most important part is? We're still here and fighting.
I often think that one of the hardest things I've done is live with a mind that's tried to kill me on a daily basis. Sounds like u might relate to that.
I guess what I'm saying is this is hard and the fact that you are surviving is amazing and it's ok to feel lost and confused because it is extremely confusing and it hurts but the fact that you are surviving shows how strong you are and that you are an amazing person and you deserve help.
you are doing amazing, please look after yourself 💖
