Dear @Plum_Pig
I believe you are fairly new to the forums, so firstly, welcome, and thank you for posting your first thread and for sharing the scenarios because they help us to understand what is going on for you. I'm so sorry to hear that you feel so awkward around some people in your family. It would suck to feel like something is wrong with you or like you have to change or be pushed out of your comfort zone each time you see them.
I'm with you when you say it's uncomfortable when people blatantly state their judgments about you (e.g., "you don't talk much do you?") while in conversation. I recall being called 'quiet' back in high school, and I did not like these types of labels, so I definitely know what you mean. I remember when I was younger I'd desire to be seen as 'loud' but my perspective has changed a little with age. I now realise that there is definitely nothing wrong with being quiet. In fact, there are many good things about being quiet - such people can often be great listeners and radiate a sense of calm. They may also be more inclined to think before they speak. They may also tend to allow more space for other people to share their stories and speak 😊. Everybody is different and may talk different amounts and open up at different rates, and there is no 'right' way to be.
In terms of your question, there are ways one can overcome feeling awkward - some of this may come naturally with age and with being exposed to certain situations over and over, and some things may be actively worked upon with a mental health care professional, like a psychologist, or something similar, depending on how awkward you feel and how badly you want to overcome it. A psychologist would be able to equip a person with some tools to help them manage their awkwardness in these types of situations. Is seeing a mental health care professional something you'd consider?
Again, welcome to our community. I'm so glad that you posted here. Taking active steps towards bettering your mental health (whether it be posting on a forum for peer support or seeking professional support or something else) takes a lot of strength and courage so please remember to commend yourself for sharing so openly and being vulnerable. It's a pleasure to have you.
