Welcome @FloralNova675 🙂 Hey, I'm still trying to work things out on here and I'm not new don't worry 😛
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now 😞 It sounds like you feel like you had all these hopes and expectations for yourself that haven't happened, and I'm guessing maybe society is also contributing to those expectations? I can relate a bit, I'm also 22, graduated without making any friends from my classes, and am still 'forever alone' in terms of finding any romantic relationships. I also feel kind of disappointed in where I am at the moment. So you're not alone in that, I think a lot of people can relate!
I'm hearing that despite social anxiety and then having to do uni through covid (I'm guessing?) you graduated, have been trying to reach out and connect with people, tried therapy, and have a job. I think those are pretty big wins. I think we can often be our harshest critic and hearing stories from others about how they met their best friends or partners through uni of course would get us down when we've been trying so hard. Social anxiety can make stuff so much harder as well and for me personally I tend to beat myself up (metaphorically speaking) over not being able to make connections as 'easily' as others. How do you feel about your anxiety? I don't know if it's helpful me saying this, but it's not your fault you have anxiety.
Constant anxiety and waking up with chest pain sound awful 😞 Do you think it's your body's response to having to manage everything? Is there anything that you notice helps?
Being ghosted by your coworker sounds awful 😞 It sucks when people just stop talking to you and never say why. It can leave you feeling so rejected and confused wondering if you did something wrong. It sounds like it's more a reflection on him rather than you though? There is a possibility that he's not doing it intentionally though I guess, maybe he's really stressed or busy, have you told him about how you've been feeling about his silence? Sometimes I will accidentally forget to reply to people or just don't feel up to talking to people so it does happen
