Hey @VioletThistleKoala it's nice to see your username pop up again! 🥰
Gosh, housemate dynamics can be so confusing, right? I'm glad you didn't hold all this in and opened up to us about it because working out situations like these are stressful, as you said. I want to reassure you that you are absolutely not alone with this! I remember feeling very similar emotions to you when I was in a sharehouse situation.
We actually have an article about living with housemates, and some of the points are about house chores and conflict management. You mentioned that you've been trying to keep yourself small and stay out of your housemates' way - which I can imagine has been challenging, especially after leaving home and processing childhood trauma/family dynamics.
It's not easy to navigate difficult conversations, especially if you haven't always had examples of what healthy communication and boundary setting look like. How would you feel about sharing some of these concerns with your housemate?
It sounds like the both of you are working out how to live together (which takes time + lots of communication). I can totally understand why you felt confused by the comments about the "dirt monster" comment and cooking fish. As you said, we all have our living habits, and it's normal for these clashes to come up. What makes the difference is, voicing them in a considerate way - you sound like a very reasonable person, so I'm sure you'd have no issues with that. You also deserve to be spoken to kindly!
It does sound like this situation is bringing up some uncomfy emotions, like feeling annoying for simply living in the house. I'm sorry you're feeling that way 💔
You mentioned at the beginning of your post that you're dealing with disassociation, depression and recovering from childhood trauma. I just wanted to ask if you have any support with it? I thought I'd share our depression 101 thread if you feel like checking it out. There's some information you might find helpful.
You said you're doing the best you can, and I absolutely agree with you. It sounds like life hasn't always been easy, but you're doing everything possible to adjust to this new living situation. Continue being kind to yourself, and know that we are here for you.
