originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:49 PM

Thank you so much for coming @TPayne! Really appreciate the time you gave us tonight and all your amazing knowledge about this tricky topic! 

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:51 PM

Good night everyone, thanks for coming tonight @TPayne

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:50 PM

No worries - anytime! always here for anyone who needs.

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:46 PM

I would like to say thankyou so much for having me here tonight!

I think everyone has some really good insights and remember:

ASK the question

LISTEN without judgement

ENCOURAGE Action

FOLLOW-UP and check-in

If you need to ask more than once, change up the way you ask, establish trust by making yourself available; Listen and ask open ended questions that guide the person to finding their own solutions; Encourage action and provide resources that are right for the individual; Follow up and show that you are always there for the future.

Goodnight and if you need anything further please don't hesitate to contact the RUOK team via their website - they have some really in depth and wicked resources!

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:34 PM

So you've asked all the questions had all the conversations, what next? Is it okay to check in? What are some tips for doing that? 

 

I reckon you should follow up and I think you shuold leave it at least a couple of days unless the person approaches you first.  I reckon I'd do it in a similar way I started the convo, in a casual manner and when there's a bit of time to chat and we're both chilled out.

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:30 PM

So you've asked all the questions had all the conversations, what next? Is it okay to check in? What are some tips for doing that? 

Maybe send them a text a day or so later something a long the lines of: Hi, just wondering how you've been since we last spoke. I wanted to let you know that I am there for you if you never need to talk, maybe we could get coffee next week?

That way you are letting them know that you care and am also giving them a chance to see you face to face if they want to, but not forcing them.

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:21 PM

Barriers to seeking help are so various -
you mind being your own worse enemy as Ben-RO states, but also when your living in a remote community, or enclosed area that seems like you all depend on each other to get by, people think its a burden to put on others if you offload onto them so you keep it in - This is the perception and stigma I want to change, its not a burden its an OPPORTUNITY a chance to find a different path that you didn't see before, a possible chance a different feeling and hopefully a more positive outcome.

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:20 PM

Sorry I have to head off not feeling too well thanks everyone for the chat and all of your insightful responses - goodnight 🙂

originally posted on 14-09-2017 9:25 PM

Goodnight @May_, I hope you get better soon

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:38 PM

Hi everyone, so sorry I'm late. I had some family issues that arised, looking forward to catching up☺️

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:39 PM

So great to have you here @honky 🙂 

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:44 PM

How to ask someone if they are ok:
1- Are you ready to have this conversation with someone?
2 -Make sure its private and they are not around people and you are both comfortable;
3- Ask the question and listen....
or
1 - Are you ready & willing?
2- Give them a foot massage, and ask the question
or
1 - Are you ready & willing?
2- Make them a hot chocolate and buy them chocolates and sit down and eat their chocolates with them and ask the question

What I am trying to say - it depends on the person and the relationship you have with them, if you know them well, do something a little unexpected and show them that you care by action and then verbalise the question...

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:42 PM

How do you ask someone if they're okay?

I usually ask them straight out and then get the generic answer of fine, to which I usually reply, “No, really, how are you?” That’s when they know that I am actually interested in how they are going and not just asking a rhetoric question.

This usually then involves me explaining why I’m actually asking and it usually has something to do with the way they are behaving of late. So perhaps a certain look in their eye, they don’t seem like their usual self, they seem really nervous about something or just seems off about them.

 

Why is it important to ask this question?

Because people don’t want to feel like a burden, so they bottle everything up instead of talking about it. So if they know that you genuinely care about how they are, they are more likely to open up to you, in which you can help them based on what they have told you. Sometimes you don’t need to take the conversation any further but other times they may need to seek professional help.

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:09 PM

First question of the night...

 

How do you ask someone if they're okay?

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:21 PM

Good Evening everyone!

Taliah here or TPayne which is on my number plates 😃
So I am an Ambassador with RUOK and honestly love spreading the message of RUOK. I honestly think the message and tools are simple and bring everything back to basics.

So I am here tonight in my home office/little sisters bedroom, chatting to you guys from Perth and can't wait to get into this discussion with you!

Get on board, ask the hard questions and lets all get a better understanding of what we need, want and hope for when we are trying to find a healthier happier version of us.

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:22 PM

Welcome @roseisnotaplant and @TPayne 😄

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:25 PM

@anastasia_ruok in here! 🙂 

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:30 PM

Also its fine if people don't open up at first, sometimes it can take more than one question to get the answer, but if they shut you down once, maybe change up the environment, maybe something more cozy or private, or ambush them and say, lets go for a walk, or insert yourself in one of there hobbies.
I love what my family do, they push there way into my house and just sit on the couch and watch TV with me when I isolate myself, they don't ask anything, they just say "Hi - what you watching" and they spend a couple of hours just sitting there, and then make me tea, and smile and then watch tv, and then when they see me relaxed - they ask the question from a genuine place of concern - everyone is different - but find out what they like doing and gently come from the side and say - you've been on my mind. Is something bothering you? and what is it, im here for you..

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:34 PM

For me these are why it is important to ask the question:
1.) You do not know what is going on with someone until you ask (Never assume, makes an ass out of U and ME;
2.) You could end up giving a person/friend a resource they never knew existed or give them an option or way out they never saw before;
3.) You could be the last line of defence and change someone's mind at a critical moment, or even at a time when they were having bad thoughts so it breaks the thought and doesn't allow it to sustain or cause harm;
4.) You could save a life - everyone's life is important

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:38 PM

---

@TPayne wrote:
Never assume, makes an ass out of U and ME;

---

hahaha i love that saying 

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:28 PM

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:12 PM

Just go and ask them, sometimes you may need to ask them more than once. Often the first time you ask they might just give a standard answer but by the second or third time you ask them they may be more open to giving a response.

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:19 PM

originally posted on 14-09-2017 8:30 PM

How do you ask someone if they're okay?

 

I'd make sure that it's a pretty chill and casual convo and make sure I have the energy and time to chat to the person if the answer is no.