- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Float this Topic for Current User
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Mute
- Printer Friendly Page
i can't stand my family, feeling emotionally burnt out and i'm not sure how to cope
this feeling comes and goes in waves a lot but all around i mostly have negative feelings and experience negative emotions when it comes to my family.
to sum it all up, my sister has multiple disabilities and severe mental health issues (namely OCD and depression), and the dynamic between my parents is that my mum tolerates too much from my dad who has anger and mental health issues (he ticks a lot of the boxes for borderline personality disorder). in my early teens i used to pray that my parents would get divorced and that my mum deserves better and that still kind of sticks today.
although it's really bad for me to 'take on' the issues in my family i feel like it's quite literally unavoidable for the most part because we live in a very small house with thin walls, i'm financially dependent on them and i tend to eavesdrop, plus i'm a highly sensitive person and can sense when something's off/someone's in a bad mood or mad. i've even grown to dread weekends because it means i'm stuck in the house with all of them for 2 days straight. this has been going on for a few years now and after so long being on high alert and being stressed, i feel emotionally burnt out and tend to shut down or cry over the smallest triggers.
i finished high school last year and didn't go to uni this year because i didn't get into any of the unis i wanted, but i frequently have these feelings of wishing any random family would adopt me, or i could get a boyfriend and move in with him, or i was at uni in another town. i just really need a distraction and short-term coping skills like talking a walk or hobbies don't do anything for me. at this point what i think would be best long-term is to get a psychologist but deep down i feel like a change of scenery would literally fix all of my problems - out of sight out of mind.
i just want to be a young adult and have fun and live my own life but my family is this massive weight that burdens me 24/7, and i just mourn the functional family that i never had. i witness my friends' families and am just in awe of how normal they are.
Comments
Hey @priyaaaa
It's been a while since your post and I wanted to ask how you were?
Has your family situation gotten any better? Have you been able to take some steps towards feeling more independent?
I can relate to feeling like the family isn't as functional as you'd like it to be. I've also looked at my friend's family and compared it to my own and felt sad, and maybe also jealous. But I think things can get better. They have in my experience. My dad out of nowhere recently asked me to have a quiet discussion with me about everything we wanted off our chests and came up with plans for what we can all work on to be more functional. It's been better since then.
I think it is definitely healthy to set some boundaries too though to ensure your mental health is ok. It can get really exhausting... but I believe it can get better. I hope you're doing ok. ❤️
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Inappropriate Content
Hi @priyaaaa ❤️
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing your story with us. It sounds like you've got a lot going on at home and have done for a while now, I can totally understand why you'd be feeling emotionally burnt out.
I can imagine being at home, especially over the last couple of years with lockdowns, has been really tough to cope with. Whether you are a direct carer for your sister & dad or not, it might be helpful to check out Carer Gateway in case there's some support there you might benefit from.
You've mentioned that your dad has anger issues, I was wondering how he shows his anger and if you feel safe when he's home?
It sounds like you would really benefit from spending some more time out of the house, do you have a job currently? Or other hobbies you like to do away from the home?
A psychologist sounds like a great idea, do you know how to organise an appointment with somebody?
I'm going to send you an email too, so keep an eye out for that soon ❤️