my last best friend from my friend group is moving to another state and i'm needing support
...thus leaving me at school with zero close friends next year. i'm going into year 12 then, and others' friend groups have most likely been well established right now, so this feels like the worst possible time in my school career to try to make friends. there's a group of girls in my grade who seem similar to me and kind who i've looked at and thought 'i wish i was friends with them', but i'm not sure if i should branch out or try to be content with being alone, since i'll be constantly bombarded with school work anyway.
i just feel really sad and stressed about this even though it's completely out of my control, but this really triggered tough feelings coming from fear of abandonment since i was in this exact situation back in year 8. i'm just looking back to when i had a friendship group of 4 and how much i took that for granted 😞 i hate the feeling of being left alone, and i'm starting to overthink about what could go wrong and worst case scenarios like: 'what if the girls i ask to sit with decline?'.
has anyone else been in a similar situation?
@celestialdreamer i know! the person's 18th i went to is my one friend who i said i don't really connect with anymore but i'm glad i went because of the boy lol! it was good yet surreal because i get little to no male attention, but unfortunately he lives 3 hours away and doesn't have any social media (his sister does but my follow request is still pending). he left the party abruptly and i felt unnecessarily sad after because there's a slim chance i'll see him again, maybe for my friend's 21st?
i really appreciate that you're genuinely interested in how it went 🥺it felt like an entire week went by in those 2 days (thursday and friday) and i was physically exhausted coming home because i barely moved during the holidays but school is pretty good so far! as expected, i still had that awkward feeling while sitting alone but i sat with a group of people who i was already acquaintances and they're alright. lots of icebreakers in classes which were pretty fun, and i socialised a little bit with the people who were sitting next to me. the workload is lower than i expected but at times i felt scared of how hard and stressful this year might be!
again, thank you so much for expressing this much interest like wow it feels like we're friends
@celestialdreamer no, she hasn't 😕 i hope i do too, but that's in another 3 years 😔my last week went well, i'm still sitting with that group i'm ~okay~ with and there's this girl in one of my classes that i sit with and we get along pretty well!
i'm happy to be on this journey with you too! the difference between english and english language is that english is repeating the skills you've been doing all throughout high school (creative writing, language analysis, comparative essays, oral presentations) whereas english language is studying how we use words and the anatomy of language if that makes sense. it's almost a scientific subject, which is probably why a lot of science kids take the subject because there's not much essay writing + novel reading.
i like how you're challenging your mindset around uni stress. you will overcome any stress you come across, and i'm rooting for you!
@celestialdreamer yeah it is! just to give a little update: last friday a girl in my class (who happened to be part of the group of girls i like) was partnered with me so we talked and got along, and as we were walking out she asked me if i had anyone to sit with and i said no so she offered for me to sit with her and her friends so of course i did! it was really scary and i expressed that to her but it's now my third day sitting with them and i feel quite welcomed, i find it's pretty entertaining to just listen to what they're talking about and not asserting myself in the conversation too much and i'm okay with that. but it's crazy to think how easy and sudden it was. i'm so happy to say this 
@celestialdreamer AHHH thank u sm! yeah it's still going really well and i'm getting closer with a few of them individually, earlier this week a lot of them wanted to skip school at lunch and go to one of their houses which i feel bad for missing out on but i was scared i would get in trouble. and yeah it was really good that she understood that i was scared, and i've noticed one of them sparks up a conversation when they notice i haven't talked in a while or i'm zoning out which is really sweet!
hey @celestialdreamer thanks for getting back to me! everything's really good, i have a huge circle of friends and i couldn't wish for anything better. i've been pretty good in general but at times i have trouble responding to people asking how i am because sometimes i don't even know what to think of the state of my mental health. i've had a couple of short conversations with one of the friends who've moved.
my two closest friends in my new circle have started dating. i don't know how to feel about it, i can't help but to feel the tiniest bit of jealousy because they're younger than me, and that reinforces my feelings of feeling like i'm 'behind' everyone else so there's that. how are you doing?
hey @priyaaaa wow that makes me so happy to hear you have a good group of friends! Thinking about where you were when you started this thread to now, I feel so happy things worked out for the best and are going well for you! I get what you mean, sometimes when things are busy or have mostly been going well, I forget to check in on my mental health, but mostly for me I take it as a good sign. I like to journal to reconnect to those thoughts/feelings, is that something that might help you? Would you like to talk about your mental health on here?
I think it's normal to feel a little weird about your 2 closest friends starting to date. I personally haven't been in the situation, but I think it's important to remember everyone reaches different 'relationship milestones' at different times, so I don't think you are behind everyone else, you just do what you're comfortable with and if you create the opportunity/the opportunity arises and you are feeling good then yolo and go for it, but I hope you don't feel pressured because of your age to do something you aren't ready for ❤️ I'm going pretty good, busy with uni right now, but actually feeling the best I have in a while which feels nice 🤗
hi! really sorry for the late reply, i have to manually check threads now because the handy notifications aren't there anymore 😔i really appreciate you interacting with me along the way and it's really made my experience here worthwhile.
i get what you mean about being too busy to check in on your own mental health, sometimes i find myself not even knowing how to check in on my own mental health. i know that recently it's been worse than usual because of the stresses of schoolwork and my *suspected* ADHD, but sometimes i find it hard to actually articulate what's going on.
since i started this thread the hard feelings about it have passed, but in general sometimes i still can't help but to feel 'behind!' and like it's something about me that's the reason i've reached no romantic milestones whatsoever, and these thoughts have naturally come up especially since turning 18 recently. fortunately i don't feel any pressure but i do have the occasional thought that my life could be so much more interesting with romantic attention.
i'm glad you're doing well and hope you're still feeling that way!
@priyaaaa it can be hard to check in on our mental health sometimes, especially when things are stressful or busy. I'm not sure if this helps, but we have a quick quiz on the website that can help you narrow down how you're doing. Or in case you like apps, there are some great ones listed here, and some of them include mental health check-ins.
I'm so glad the hard feelings have passed about your friends dating, but I'm sorry you're still feeling 'behind' sometimes. As celestialdreamer said, everyone does reach milestones at different times, and meeting people you click with can involve quite a bit of chance and luck too. I don't know about you, but from my experience I definitely think it's better to wait for the right time and a person who really clicks well for you.
People vary a lot in terms of when they start dating and it's all normal, although I definitely empathise that it can be frustrating and disappointing.
Is there anything you find helps with those feelings?
In case you're interested, this is a nice article about embracing being single - in the sense of nurturing and being kind to yourself.
How are things going with your new circle of friends? I really hope it's still going well.
hi, thank you for referring me to these resources!
yes, i definitely believe in the end it's worth being patient but i sometimes my ego brain gets caught up in why it's taking so long etc. i guess what i've done is acknowledge those feelings i first had were normal then tried to just not think about it and it naturally went away - even though brushing them off like that will likely result in the same feelings coming back up again.
thanks for asking, still going really well and i'm really happy with the way everything's been working out!
@priyaaaa it sounds like you have a really great approach - acknowledging hard feelings and allowing them their space can be so helpful.
It sounds a lot like mindfulness - have you tried mindfulness before?
I'm so glad things are going so well with your friends - that's wonderful news! 😄
Hey @priyaaaa !
So great to hear about your friend circle and things going generally really well at the moment ! ❤️ Talking to our friends and other people in our lives about mental health can be really tricky. It is totally up to you what you choose to share, when you've had short conversations with friends, how have you felt after?
I think those feelings of jealousy about your friends dating is super normal and understandable! Particularly in the beginning of the relationship when things are often quite intense for a new couple. But you certainly aren't behind, we're all different and go at our own pace with these things. Theres no rush ❤️
That is lovely to hear that you're getting closer individually with the people in your new friendship group, its a big step that can really pay off and lead to lifelong friendships 
And good on you standing your ground about not skipping school, it can be hard when you're feeling pressured to do something you don't want to do and it's awesome you committed to what you thought was best. Go you!
It sucks that you aren't sure when you will see him again, hopefully you will get a chance to see him sooner than the 21st party! So great that you have been doing some icebreakers in class, that must make chatting with others a bit easier. What kind of classes will you be taking this year?@Sophia-RO yeah i hope so! it does, and i'm taking english, english language, ancient history, health and human development and psychology. i really like them all so that gives me hope for this year
just wondering how your going? how are you feeling about returning to school? im aware school goes back for most somewhere between thursday and monday
@scared01 i'm doing well thank you for asking. school starts tomorrow which i'm nervous/excited about
interesting activities @priyaaaa. I find learning a language to be very tough at times, so I can understand your reasons for not wanting to learn Spanish anymore. Sorry to hear that you feel like you don’t know who you are. I think it can be quite common for people to not fully understand where they fit in until they are well into adulthood, so I don’t think you are alone there! You mentioned being worried about what to say if you might get asked about who you are. Sometimes it can be helpful to practice certain answers ahead of time, especially if you feel like you won’t know what to say on the spot. Do you think it would be helpful to brainstorm some potential answers to questions that you might be asked?
@Sophia-RO thank you for reassuring me i'm not alone and thank you, i feel like i would benefit from brainstorming some answers
Sounds like things have been hard for you lately, it must be hard to feel like things are weird and that you aren't too sure about what is going on. Do you have anyone that you feel comfortable/close enough to talk to about how you have been feeling lately? Sorry that you are feeling public when posting on the forums, privacy and moderation needs are some of the reasons why we don't offer any private messaging through the forums. I hope that is understandable
@Sophia-RO agreed (: and yeah i'll try to enjoy my last extended break as much as possible before i'm bombarded with the workload of year 12 and then worry about it when the time comes. and yeah i'll look into and re-evaluate my interests as i think they need tending to.
in terms of how i'm going, i actually feel better since i posted that reply even though it was from the day before lol! and thankfully i have a couple of close online friends to turn to when i'm struggling.
no worries about the private messaging thing!
So great to hear that you are feeling better over the last few days. Sounds like having some close friends for support helped a lot, which is lovely!
