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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:37 PM
8.Have you, or someone close to you, ever been so bogged down with regret that it has been hard to move forward? What did you do?
my brother had many regrets after a bad break up from a 9 year relationship and it sent him down a pretty bad path at the time. i was young and couldn't really help at the time but if i had a chance now I would really give him my time and talk him hrough the whole thing. Constantly remind him to forgive himself and learn from this.
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:29 PM
@NutellaBlaster I think if we don't forgive ourselves, there is a chance that your regret will resurface, even if you've moved past it because without forgiving yourself for making whatever caused the regret, you still regret it.- Mark as New
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:33 PM
@N1ghtW1ng thank you for saying that 🙂 I guess there are still things for me to work on!
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:28 PM
okay everyone, just a few more questions to go.
8.Have you, or someone close to you, ever been so bogged down with regret that it has been hard to move forward? What did you do?
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:42 PM
Have you, or someone close to you, ever been so bogged down with regret that it has been hard to move forward? What did you do?
YES! Hahaha. For both situations that had me bogged down, I had to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. I know with my honours year, and crashing really badly with my untreated MH definitely threw a spanner in the works. For so long I hated myself for not being able to go to uni. It took quite a lot of self talk and counselling and lots and lots of chats with my GP as well as my mum and dad to realise that it wasn't for me. I didn't have the drive and motivation left in me to finish the course, as well as the change of building half way through. I am now happily doing a course at TAFE in a different field all together.
As for the best friend incident, I didn't want to change the dynamics of our friendship group and then that friendship group fell apart when I did. I told myself that if I was to ever see him, I would tell him exactly how I felt about him but yeah. I just had to admit to myself that the waiting game was extremely unhealthy and that is when I took a step back and looked at the whole picture.
My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:20 PM
Some healthy ways are like @tsnyder said, what would you tell a friend? It's really how I help myself, from an 'outside' point of view. Acceptance is also really important, you have to accept the fact that it happened and find a way, by understanding and whatever works for you, to move onwards.- Mark as New
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:22 PM
@N1ghtW1ng definitely. It is really important to move on.
However, I'd like to add a general point here. I don't think we should move on arbitrarily - as @j95 pointed out previously: sometimes we just have to sit with our regrets for a while. Moving on should only ever be subsequent to learning, in my opinion
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:26 PM
I also think the lessons learnt from regrets can be great to pass onto others who may not have had those experiences and may be feeling regret and not know what to do.
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:37 PM
@FootyFan26 yes the more we can learn from others, we less we will have to suffer ourselves. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't listen or fully understand until we experience it ourselves. Brings to mind the saying that 'youth is wasted on the young'!
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:29 PM
@FootyFan26 that's why we should really listen to others who have been through it. But at the same time, sometimes we don't really learn and understand the impact of that advice until we go through it ourselves too.
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:18 PM
I must admit i'm bothered quite a bit by how often my regrets and those events resurface in my thoughts.
My go to with coping with regrets is to give it time. But it's often the hardest advice to give to someone!
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:17 PM
Some great advice on how to cope with our regrets so i've got to ask
7. What are some healthy ways to cope and move on from regrets?
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:22 PM
What are some healthy ways to cope and move on from regrets?
Take a step back from the situation and re-evaluate the reason as to why you regret this thing. For my regret I mentioned, when I stepped back, I realised that although he was a great friend and always there for me, our beliefs were different and although we had some core values that overlapped, I believe there wasn't enough of an overlap for a lasting relationship.
My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:21 PM
What are some healthy ways to cope and move on from regrets?1. Remind yourself that you can't change the past but you can change the future.
2. If you did something you feel was embarrassing, tell yourself the odds of others remembering as super little. I mean how many time do we look at a person and only think of the things they did that was 'embarrassing' or 'weird' ? Basically never right?
3. Review your actions and thought process and question why you felt a certain way? SELF TALK DOES WONDERS PEOPLE 🙂
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:26 PM
@sunflowers5 haha yes it does... and absolutely, for the most part, people are predominantely concerned with themselves. Often, when it comes to image, others don't care or remember how others present themselves.
Therefore, I now go to uni with horrible bed head and trackies at least 90% of the time. Go me!
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:30 PM
@tsnyder YES! You legend! haha Thats awesome, I now just go in leggings, comfy top and hair (whatever its feeling on the day)..- Mark as New
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:32 PM
haha @sunflowers5 I'm glad you go in hair! Honestly though, you are a stylish individual! I struggle
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:35 PM
Im sure you do just fine 😄 Probably even better because your hair doesn't become a frizz ball some days haha! @tsnyder .. either way, good on us for dressing to impress us (comfort wise haha) 😄- Mark as New
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:24 PM
@sunflowers5 that's some really awesome positive adivce!
Also something i've noticed from @N1ghtW1ng is the importance of forgiving ourselves. Possibly the faster we forgive ourselves the faster we can move on?
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:25 PM
sorry i have to go, feeling really off and having a bad night. thanks everyone.- Mark as New
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:27 PM
@j95 thanks for your time tonight. hope everything is okay!
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:27 PM
No problem @j95, be sure to look after yourself. It was great to have you, see you around the forums
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originally posted on 25-05-2015 9:25 PM
@NutellaBuster thanks 😄 Positive reinforcement is always a good comforter haha!
