originally posted on 21-11-2016 8:57 PM

You would a-salt them, @Ben-RO? I just pulled them off or give them a flick if they are yet to latch on.

I used to be overly irrational about them too, until my first encounter with them.

originally posted on 21-11-2016 8:49 PM

Heya @loves netball, welcome to the chat! How are you going 🙂

originally posted on 21-11-2016 8:47 PM

Now that we have spoken about recent things fear stopped us from doing, what do you think you are afraid of happening?

Depending on what type of fear it is, I think we're afraid of things because of potential negative consequences. Like I am afraid of spiders in case I get bitten or one crawls on me or appears somewhere I don't want it. On a bigger scale, certainly for me, a lot of my fears and sometimes avoidance is because of perfectionism and insecurity and a fear of messing up and not being good enough. I'm so afraid of doing something wrong that sometimes I don't do anything at all. 

 

originally posted on 21-11-2016 8:52 PM

Agoraphobia = people scare me in general.

Being burnt = that would be a fucking painful way to go.

Infertile = One of my core values is family. Although not the end of the world as I've always wanted to be a foster carer.

So basically we are scared of the consequences.

I read somewhere that most people aren't afraid of heights, they are afraid of falling. What are peoples thoughts on that?

originally posted on 21-11-2016 8:56 PM

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@stonepixie wrote:
I read somewhere that most people aren't afraid of heights, they are afraid of falling. What are peoples thoughts on that?

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@stonepixie I can't speak for everyone else, but this is true for me. I'm not afraid of heights, I love heights actually, the views, adventures etc. But I am afraid of falling, not so much the feeling of falling itself - I like that adrenaline rush too, but I'm afraid of something going wrong and being injured, so particularly if I'm descending in a way I feel unsecured I'll get scared. 

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:05 PM

I'm terrified of the free-fall. But as soon as the slack picks up, I'm fine.

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:07 PM

With all this talk about fear, how have you pushed through it in the past?

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:14 PM

With all this talk about fear, I want to know how you have pushed through it in the past.

Firstly I want to say that sometimes I don't manage to push through and and that's ok. Sometimes pushing through things for me can be a matter of sucking it up and just doing it. Some self talk and reassurance or a pep talk from others can be helpful too. As some of my fear is perfectionism and afraid of messing up based, sometimes I need to remind myself that I don't have to be perfect and it's better and I'll get further if I try. 

 

In other senses though, I'm known for being a little bit crazy and super fearless when I probably should be scared and sometimes do things I maybe shouldn't... 

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:11 PM

With all this talk about fear, I want to know how you have pushed through it in the past.

 

Remembering to breathe is a must! Deep breaths often calm me down.

I like to think I'm a logical person, most of the time, so once the initial intense fear passes a bit I like to try to put things into perspective. In the end, if something is really worth it there will be a way to get through the fear. I guess that approach relates more to fear of non-life threatening situations like socialising or talking about things. If there's danger.. run!

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:08 PM

I think we were thinking the same thing, @Ben-RO

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:12 PM

With all this talk about fear, I want to know how you have pushed through it in the past.

 

Embrace your inner Nike and JUST DO IT.

 

 

Sometimes you gotta use your 20 seconds of courage and go for it. Sometimes that's not possible, which is okay. I think learing about the fear and recognising that it's there is important.

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:23 PM

I really agree with @roseisnotaplant. 

 

Not saying it's easy, but action is the single most powerful thing to defeat anxiety. Once you have done the thing you need to so, you won't be worrying about it, because it's done! It also is really good because the more worrying we're doing, the less time we're spending building skills to not worry and that makes it harder to stop! 

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:29 PM

And you're not feeding the monster to the point that it consumes you @roseisnotaplant and @Ben-RO

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:34 PM

I think it is safe to move onto the next question ...

 

What are some of your strategies for overcoming your fears? 

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:31 PM

Occasionally @stonepixie. That's where I abandon ship and hide under my bed for a few months (except I don't hide under my bed because spiders...)

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:35 PM

Spiders are equally scared of us as we are of them. They just want a home to make nice things.

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:34 PM

So how do we know when we need to push through it and when it's okay to not challenge a fear or anxiety? 

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:40 PM

I guess it depends on whether you are going to be a better person or not if you push through it. So a way to think of it is ... Is doing this going to get me closer to my values and/or goals or will it have no effect or put you further behind?

@Ben-RO @roseisnotaplant

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:37 PM

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:36 PM

@Ben-RO I would say when you don't feel comfortable, but of course you wont feel comfortable if your doing something scary. I think when you feel unsafe or like you're in serious danger, or would be if you were to do the thing you were scared of. Interesting question though, I'm not really sure.

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:40 PM

What are some of your strategies for overcoming your fears?

 

If it's an irrational fear, keep telling yourself that. It might not help much, but at least you know that it's not a serious threat, even if that's not how you feel. If it's a rational fear, give yourself a way out if you need it, even if that's like hanging up the phone on a scary phone call. Maybe get help from a friend, and ask if they might do the scary thing with you.

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:11 PM

With all this talk about fear, how have you pushed through it in the past?

 

Count to 5 really quick and do the thing. Like call the scary person or say the scary thing, or whatever. That's not exactly a carefully thought out psychological thing but it works for me 😛 

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:15 PM

With all this talk about fear, how have you pushed through it in the past?

Using steps and creating lists. I think I did this a little while ago here on RO when I needed to book an appointment. I wrote out what I had to do, took one step had a break, chilled out, then did the second. and eventually it worked out. Now I use it all the time - have to make a phone call, sure, dial the number, count to 10, press the call button, probably hang up a couple of times, repeat the process until I'm ready for the next part which is waiting for the dial tone and speaking.

originally posted on 21-11-2016 9:18 PM

@j95  I really like the idea of planning out the steps.. tackling one part at a time would be a lot easier than taking on the whole scary thing at once.