originally posted on 10-04-2020 4:40 PM

Last question!

How can we help others cope with uncertainty whilst also looking after ourselves?

originally posted on 14-04-2020 11:01 AM

How can we help others cope with uncertainty whilst also looking after ourselves?

 

I think doing self-care, encouraging others to do self-care that works for them, or taking part in communal self-care together, especially in times like these!

 

originally posted on 10-04-2020 10:55 AM

@Bee  Great question!!
How can we stay positive when faced with uncertainty?' How have you dealt with uncertainty in the past?
I think amping up self-care and doing things that we find joyful can help. In the past, I do this and try and see what this is trying to teach me, and seek out community

 

originally posted on 10-04-2020 10:21 AM

How can we stay positive when faced with uncertainty?'
Trying to stay to your routine as much as possible, and if there are some things you can't do, then try and find something else to fill in the time. In particular times like these I have found that I often think what can I do better and such.

How have you dealt with uncertainty in the past?
Yes, countless of times, I can't really think of any at the moment, but I think often thinking what can I control often helps.

originally posted on 08-04-2020 1:05 PM

Why do you think we need to feel certain about life events?

 

My autistic brain loves certainty. It let's me plan what I'm about to do, and really reduces my anxiety about doing something "wrong".

 

It also means that I can choose where to put my energy. I only have so much, and knowing if something's actually going to happen or not really helps me divide it. 

originally posted on 06-04-2020 5:40 PM

Why do you think we need to feel certain about life events?
I think that we like to have a plan for our future, as well as goals and dreams that we would like to achieve. In the past, I've felt as though I needed to achieve certain things by certain ages, though life rarely turns out the way that we expect. I also feel as though we want each year to have a fresh start. I was really hoping that my sister would be able to improve more by the start of this year so that I could have less things to worry about. I also think that we want to feel as though we are safe and secure. An event like the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as social distancing and being unable to do our regular activities, can really push us out of our comfort zone and force us to adapt to a new way of living and doing things. I think that most people don't like experiencing change. The thought of what could possibly come next and how it could affect us can make us worried and anxious.

originally posted on 08-04-2020 1:59 PM

I am really loving this GR- what fantastic questions, especially given the current state of the world. 

 

@WheresMySquishy  I relate so strongly to what you said about previously feeling like you "need" to achieve things by a certain age, or certain stage of life. I used to have really concrete ideas about what I wanted to achieve by certain ages, like finishing my original degree , working in certain jobs, etc. It turned out that life had very different plans for me, and some things happened that I never could have predicted. At the time that was really hard and definitely messed with my head a bit, but years down the track, I can honestly say that I'm happy that life took its twists and turns.

 

 

On the other hand, I also believe that it's important for humans to be able to plan for the future, and feel some sense of agency about what lies ahead and the choices they are going to make. Even if things don't work out as planned, setting goals and making those plans can be really important. I know a lot of people are struggling to sit with that uncertainty right now, and some days I feel like I'm doing really well at going with the flow, other days I feel frustrated that I can't have any sense of certainty about the next 6 months. 

 

What are some things you can control?

 

I find a lot of comfort in remembering that while I can't control a lot of world events, I can control (to a certain extent) my own reactions to what happens around me, the activities I choose to do, and how I spend my time.

 

For me, that means being purposeful about doing things that fill my cup every day, like going for a morning walk, hanging out with family, listening to music, reading books, and pottering around in the garden. 

 

I can also control what I consume on social media and news, and there's been a few times lately that I've muted certain things from my social media feed, or decided to only check the news once a day (I'm usually a bit of a news junkie), and that's helped me a lot. 

originally posted on 07-04-2020 2:17 AM

Here's today's question:

What are some things you can control?

originally posted on 07-04-2020 8:10 PM

What are some things you can control?
I think that we can control your attitude towards things and how we respond to them. We can usually control whether we say yes or no to things that people ask us to do and set our own priorities. We can control how we practice self-care and what we do with our feelings. We can also choose whether we seek help.

originally posted on 08-04-2020 11:06 AM

I am just going to tag a few more people who might be interested in this one 🙂

 

@YungFury_ @xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Jane_Rose @Wathan @JazzInMay @Tay100 @Anonymous @Tiny_leaf @N1ghtW1ng @drpenguin 

originally posted on 08-04-2020 11:28 AM

Well, I thought more people would have answered already! Oh well, lucky 3rd! 🙂

1. I'm not entirely sure how to answer this question... But I agree with @WheresMySquishy. We need to feel certain, in order to achieve goals and other dreams.

2. Again, @WheresMySquishy has explained it wonderfully! Most SITUATIONS can't be controlled, but how we respond to them is a different matter. That's mainly what we can c control.

originally posted on 08-04-2020 1:02 PM

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx and @WheresMySquishy haha i think we're sharing a brain for this GR! my thoughts were pretty similar!

 

Why do you think we need to feel certain about life events?

I think in a lot of ways we feel like we need to know what's going to happen to get rid of 'what-ifs'. It's really hard to plan or move on if we don't know what's coming, and it can be hard to stop dwelling!

 

What are some things you can control?

You guys pretty much said all I would say here, but yeah, the main thing we actually can control is how we react to situations. We can change the way we approach things, both with actions and with attitudes (one of those things that is soooo much easier said than done 😛 but still!). We can draw boundaries for ourselves, and reach out when we need support, and offer support to others when we can

originally posted on 08-04-2020 2:50 PM

Great questions!!

 

Why do you think we need to feel certain about life events?

As humans, we are designed to desire some level of certainty and control. As many things are, I believe this has biological roots - it was part of the safest and best method for surviving way way back when. Humans now days recognise we can't have control over everything, but for a lot of people, that's where we feel safe. There is safety in knowing what's coming and in preparation, we feel fearful when we don't understand things, or feel they are out of our control.

 

What are some things you can control?

I feel like many things have been mentioned, and I am in agreement - all we can control are our responses. We may not be able to control our initial reaction, nor the emotions that subsequently stem from it, and that's okay. We need to give ourselves space for these knee-jerk reactions before we can consciously think about what we can change. We can't change what's happening but we can alter small things that give us a sense of situational control - for example, we can clean our rooms/homes to create a clean, calm space. We can do grounded breathing/relaxation/ mindfulness exercises. We can work out. We can eat chocolate. We can ask for help. Small things.

 

How are you feeling right now/coping with the current situation?

I feel like I am similar to probably many others - I have my ups and downs. Last week I had a few days where I was angry with everything, and deeply upset about everything else. I gave myself space to process my sense of grief and in doing so, allowed myself to develop a sense of peace and calm. I am coping the way I can - trying to eat healthily, but listening when my body says it wants chocolate; exercising every day because it helps my mood; trying to set routines; having good sleep, but again listening when my body wants to sleep in or stay up later; staying in regular contact with my friends and partner, because they're the ones feeling the same as me - some are stood down, some are working from home, all are anxious and feeling grieved like I am. Supporting others and allowing myself to be supported in return is huge for my ability to cope.

originally posted on 08-04-2020 1:08 PM

@Tiny_leaf that makes a lot of sense! A bit hard to know where to invest energy when you don't have clear start or end point

originally posted on 08-04-2020 1:09 PM

Also here's Wednesday's question btw!  

How are you feeling right now/ coping with the current situation?