[CHAT] #BIWEEK - Awareness, acceptance and visbility!
The day that this blog goes live, the 23rd of September, marks International
Bisexual Day. It’s also a part of Bisexual Awareness Week, which was
created with the aim of achieving wider acceptance of bisexuality.
I’ve identified as bisexual for a little over 6 years now and to say that it hasn’t
exactly been a straightforward journey would be a bit of an understatement. I
never questioned my sexuality as a kid, always assuming that I was straight by
default, until I suddenly ended up with a huge crush on a girl I was friends with
at the age of 15. Even as a child of a LGBT parent who had grown up with it as a
big part of my life, this realization brought on a lot of different feelings of
confusion, frustration and worry.
It took me a while, but eventually I reached a place where I accepted who I am.
Most of the people I’ve come out to have been cool about it, but that doesn’t
mean that I haven’t gotten the occasional strange/borderline biphobic question
or comment. For example, receiving a Facebook message from a school friend
out of the blue asking if I’m “still bi” when I got my first boyfriend was a moment
that I wouldn’t really want to relive. Curiosity about other people’s sexuality is
normal, but we need to remember to be respectful about how we talk about it.
No matter what your sexuality is, we all have our own process of coming to
terms with what it means to us. We’re the ones who get to choose what labels we
use, if any, as well as how we define those labels.
Want to know a bit more about coming to terms with your own sexuality, learn
about different sexualities and how we can treat all different sexualities with
respect?
Come and join @safari93 and I when we chat about it on Monday 28th,
8pm AEST!
On the other hand, visibility can be as big of an issue as stereotyping. Have you ever had to face people who thought your sexuality ‘didn’t exist’? Or do you know someone who has faced this?
ME! I'm not fully out of the closet, so to speak as I've only told 2 people IRL. And they basically told me that I'm only this way because of my abusive past or that I just haven't met the right person. I haven't told my family, but they know that I'm not really a sexual person as such.
But then again, I don't feel as though I need to come out of the closet, and I don't even identify as LGBT+ as I don't face the same problems and descrimination as you guys. I don't know if that is weird or not, but that is just how I feel.
@stonepixie That really sucks that people give you that kind of response! Sometimes I think people can be a bit funny though and think that they're really "helping you" by making comments like that. It's like they think if they tell you things like that it will help you discover the "truth" about yourself. It can be hard, because they can mean well, it just doesn't always translate that way 😞 At the end of the day, what you see inside yourself is what is important - whether you chose to give yourself a label, attach yourself to a specific group, or whether you just want to go along being you by yourself.
Also, kudos for educating the head of psych! Opening someones mind is an amazing experience!
@stonepixie whether and how you choose to come out it your decision, you need to do whats right for you 🙂
People sometimes like to brush off stereotyping as harmless. Do you think stereotyping is innocent fun, or can it be harmful?
Stereotyping can definitely be harmful, especially for those who are questioning. I'm called a slut shamer but I really couldn't care less about how many sexual partners someone has had.
@stonepixie people are mostly really bad at recognising that your own identity has nothing to do with what you think about other people's -_-
also LOL that picture is amazing
People sometimes like to brush off stereotyping as harmless. Do you think stereotyping is innocent fun, or can it be harmful?
I think stereotypes are symptom of a larger, more dangerous issue of overall discrimination. Especially considering a lot of the stereotypes relating to LGBT people have resulted in higher levels of different forms of violence being perpetrated against them 😕
@Jaide897 that's some really useful advice, and I definitely agree that setting time aside for personal exploration can really help 
@Chessca_H true! Not everyone is going to want monogamy or markers of a committed relationship like marriage, but framing them as inherently bad qualities and then foisting them on an entire group helps noone
Stereotyping is still an issue the LGBT community faces. What are some stereotypes you have heard about the LGBT community?
Even in 2015 I still see men mocking each other for perceived 'gay' behaviour (and don't even get me started on using the word gay as an insult). I think some of the stereotypes I've received play into other forms of discrimination like sexism, especially the slut-shaming beliefs people hold about bisexuals
Then there are those who are told that their sexuality doesn't exist because they are somewhere between sexual and asexual. Society tells them that they can only identify as sexual or asexual. So for me, most of the time I'm a demi and then there are days when I am closer to asexual and then every so often, an individual walks past and I'm like 'hello there!'.
@stonepixie True! A lot of the identities sitting on the asexuality spectrum don't get anywhere near the amount of attention they deserve
I really like that test of seeing if it's appropriate to ask a straight person too!
I think your point about listening to yourself. It's amazing how hard that can be sometimes. Can you think of any ways to help people to reflect?
Well, take time to sit with yourself and talk all your feelings out by yourself, whether you write this down or record it or just think about it. I started doing this once a week at first and now it's every day or too. I find journals helpful, or going for a walk. Let oneself think anything and everything for a set amount of time, and then do something that you can focus on, like, read a book, work out, sing a song or watch TV or a movie to bring you back out of your own head. That's what I've found works for me, but I'd encourage personal exploration utmost
@AllyJane that's so useful! If it would be offensive/irrelevant to ask a straight person, then you should probably not ask someone who is questioning their sexuality. And you don't have to put up with those questions either
@Jaide897 no need to apologise! Your answers are really great, you're really contributing to this discussion. And it's perfectly okay to not know 100% how you identify - I think we all go through some type of confusion, but it's all part of learning ourselves
What advice could you give for people who are going through the process of questioning their sexuality? If this is something you have explored or are exploring now, what advice would you give yourself 5 years ago?
I don't have heaps of knowledge regarding this question, but some great advice I've heard is that during the process of questioning your sexuality, people might begin questioning it for you. If someone asks you a question, ask yourself if they would say it to someone who identifies as straight as a way to determine whether it's appropriate or not. Regardless, if it makes you uncomfortable, then it's innapropriate.
@AllyJane so true! Boundaries are super important for people who are questioning
@Jaide897 you're kickin butt at this forum stuff! And I think we're learning a lot from what you're sharing too 🙂
@Chessca_H true! It can seem so obvious to you that someone isn't straight but forcing someone out of the closet is a whole other stressful drama that probably won't go over well for them
@Jaide897 I think that's a good way to go about it, just accepting who you are
@stonepixie 10/10 pie chart usage 
My advice would probably be to not let fear or confusion get the better of you - it is scary for a while, but eventually you learn more about yourself and find a nice group that accepts you for you and you'll start to feel more secure in yourself. Also learn about sexual identities other than the one you identify as, as it can help clear up the confusion
Hey @Jaide897@AllyJane@stonepixie!
Thank you for sharing that! I think it's really cool that you're embracing the change.
@AllyJane mentions that for some people it's hard. I think it's interesting that the journey is different for different people and i wonder how much of that difficulty "just is" and how much of that is something that we as a society can make easier for people to go through.
