[CHAT] #BIWEEK - Awareness, acceptance and visbility!
The day that this blog goes live, the 23rd of September, marks International
Bisexual Day. It’s also a part of Bisexual Awareness Week, which was
created with the aim of achieving wider acceptance of bisexuality.
I’ve identified as bisexual for a little over 6 years now and to say that it hasn’t
exactly been a straightforward journey would be a bit of an understatement. I
never questioned my sexuality as a kid, always assuming that I was straight by
default, until I suddenly ended up with a huge crush on a girl I was friends with
at the age of 15. Even as a child of a LGBT parent who had grown up with it as a
big part of my life, this realization brought on a lot of different feelings of
confusion, frustration and worry.
It took me a while, but eventually I reached a place where I accepted who I am.
Most of the people I’ve come out to have been cool about it, but that doesn’t
mean that I haven’t gotten the occasional strange/borderline biphobic question
or comment. For example, receiving a Facebook message from a school friend
out of the blue asking if I’m “still bi” when I got my first boyfriend was a moment
that I wouldn’t really want to relive. Curiosity about other people’s sexuality is
normal, but we need to remember to be respectful about how we talk about it.
No matter what your sexuality is, we all have our own process of coming to
terms with what it means to us. We’re the ones who get to choose what labels we
use, if any, as well as how we define those labels.
Want to know a bit more about coming to terms with your own sexuality, learn
about different sexualities and how we can treat all different sexualities with
respect?
Come and join @safari93 and I when we chat about it on Monday 28th,
8pm AEST!
Do you think people’s understanding of sexuality is changing?
@Chessca_H I totally agree - I think people are becoming a lot more aware of the sexuality spectrum.
I think that for the most part (if not completely), all of these feelings and such have been inside us but it's only as we've grown to be more accepting as a society that we've been able to put words and names to things.
@KitKat thats really true, I know there are a lot of different identities I thought about for ages but didn't really grasp until I knew the label for them
Hey @KitKat, glad you could make it! I've definitely experienced that before, people whose knowledge of LGBT stopped at the G
@redhead what an awful thing to hear! I'm so sorry you had to hear that 
On the other hand, visibility can be as big of an issue as stereotyping. Have you ever had to face people who thought your sexuality ‘didn’t exist’? Or do you know someone who has faced this?
Well personally, yes and no? People are aware of bisexuality, but are also super keen to tell me that I am 'confused' and will figure out which way I 'swing'. I think there are plenty of people whose sexualities aren't too well known - a past partner of mine identified as demisexual and hardly anyone we knew seemed to be aware of it. She would sometimes just identify as lesbian to avoid the inevitable 200 questions
Have you ever had to face people who thought your sexuality ‘didn’t exist’?
Luckily I don't run into this first hand too much, but have been told there can't be a speration between sexual and romantic orientation, so I've been told 'oh but how can you want to sleep with a guy but not date him?' I think there's a bit of negative attitudes towards sex outside of relationships at play here too, though.
@safari93 people definitely like to question how valid bisexuality is, it can be really frustrating especially when it comes from people you would think would have more informed views 😕
I have been told by people at my old church that gays don't exist and that they are evil.
@safari93 @Chessca_H Thank you ^^
And @redhead I'm actually really mind-blown that people can still believe things like this. I don't even know what I would do or say if someone tried to tell me that!
@redhead thats awful! I can't believe people could still be so close minded -_-
@Jaide897 that's a good point, stereotyping can sometimes be used by the community as a form of banter, like a type of bonding over a shared experience. But like you said, respect is key
I also want to say that within my friends, we play on sterotypes pertaining to straight people a lot too. We have a running joke about the guys only being interested in football. none of them even support a team
@AllyJane good point! It's so othering and alienating to be constantly referred to as the 'gay' friend or the 'bi' friend, like that person can still be your friend without you constantly reminding them of how they are different from the straight 'norm'
@Jaide897 Yeah i like that! It sounds simple, but a lot of people just don't get the support they need to learn those skills. Hopefully conversations like this will help us change that slowly 🙂
And this gif is Anna Paquin's response in relation to being asked if she was still Bisexual while in a Monogomous (1 person) relationship
People sometimes like to brush off stereotyping as harmless. Do you think stereotyping is innocent fun, or can it be harmful?
It can be super harmful for sure. No matter how many times people say its just a joke, that doesn't stop it from hurting the person who the joke was about. Stereotyping puts people in a category, it confines them into a box. And it could be that people do this so that once they can fit them into a category they think they understand everything about them and thats just not the case. People are not defined by their sexuality. If someone comes out as gay, they shouldn't be constantly described as "my gay friend", sentences don't have to start with "my friend tom, he's gay, he has this really cute dog...". Stereotypes make people's sexuality their defining feature and that can hurt.
I think stereotypes are just one aspect of discrimination that the LGBT community faces, and they can have dangerous consequences. Visible LGBT people are still targeted for harrassment and even outright assault, and young LGBT people have higher rates of mental illness across the board compared to young straight people
So now that we've established that stereotyping still exists for some reason...
People sometimes like to brush off stereotyping as harmless. Do you think stereotyping is innocent fun, or can it be harmful?
Do you think stereotyping is innocent fun, or can it be harmful?
I think this is a complex question, because stereotypes are harmful, but for some people (myself included) playing on stereotypes for humour is genuinely funny within my friend group, but we never take it too far or joke with people who we don't know. I think there's people who don't realise the harm they could be doing when they enforce stereotypes, but once enlightened to this, you should always be mindful and respect people who have asked you not to say certain things, or pin them as a stereotype that they feel they don't fit.
@Jaide897 thats a good point, using stereotypes about your own identity in a humourous way can help to take the negative power out of them
On the other hand, visibility can be as big of an issue as stereotyping. Have you ever had to face people who thought your sexuality ‘didn’t exist’? Or do you know someone who has faced this?
Yeah, definitely! Not so much out of any kind of attempt to be mean or cruel, but rather that they their idea of sexuality was limited to "straight", "bisexual" or "homosexual". It was definitely a great experience explaining about the other types of sexuality that exist like pansexuality.
Hey @KitKat! Pansexual totally doesn't get the validation it deserves, so many people get it confused with bisexuality
This can be such a tough issue, I'm really glad that you all have so many opinions on it!
On the other hand, visibility can be as big of an issue as stereotyping. Have you ever had to face people who thought your sexuality ‘didn’t exist’? Or do you know someone who has faced this?
