[CHAT] Swipe right for love: modern dating conundrums
Back in the day, if you wanted to marry someone, you had to go through a lengthy process of courting, which involved getting all dressed up for a ball, needing to dance with a partner, and following all sorts of rules in order to propose to them.
Nowadays, dating is a bit easier than that, with the likes of dating apps such as Tinder, Happn, and Bumble allowing us to meet potential partners with just a swipe to the right.
We also don’t have to follow such strict dating rules now. We can date for marriage and long lasting relationships, but we can also date for casual fun.
With all these changes in technology and how we meet up with people, it can be easier to find what you want, but it can be a bit daunting. Navigating the modern dating world and this hook-up culture can be difficult if we aren’t completely sure of what we want, or what others want.
Come join us at 8pm on Monday 28th November for a discussion on modern dating, or join in on the conversation by hitting ‘Reply’ right now!
Hey @loves netball!
Thanks for the interesting question - it would really be great to explore it more. So next year (probably in march or april) we'll have an InfoBus session on it and things related to feeling ready for dating/a relationship 🙂
What is an InfoBus session @cupcakes_032? And I would forget about the question, only stupid people like me would ask such stupid questions
Thanks to everyone who joined in tonight. It was a great session 🙂
Reading this discussion makes me want to cry.
What about when there's an ongoing illness involved in a relationship or past trauma preventing someone from trying to date?
Sorry I wasn't able to be part of this, but I've enjoyed reading all the responses!
@loves netball I think you posted at the end of the GR. Is this a topic you'd like to explore further in a separate thread?
@letitgo yeah I missed the session because of work. I probably wouldn't bother with my question, because I'm convinced I'll be single for life.
Sometimes the person you date may pressure you into doing something you do not want or are not ready for. What are some ways you can deal with this situation?
Thanks @N1ghtW1ng and @Chloee
Communication seems to be emerging as super important here, so to answer this question, I'm gonna say communicate! Just expressing how you're not comfortable to do that thing so that the other person can be aware of your boundaries. Hopefully those boundaries are also respected 🙂
Everyone had some really great insights, hope you were all able to take something away from this.
I did!!!
Goodnight everybody!!! I'm going to go have the most gigantic sleeep now 🙂
@N1ghtW1ng that's really interesting... yeah it would probably be easier if both people were really open with each other about their feelings and intentions. To make things kinda more confusing, what happens if one person or both people feel aren't really sure of their feelings/intentions yet? Like the feelings might take a while to develop
EDIT: oh yeah, I guess waiting until the right time when both people are feeling kinda ready to talk about it. Sorry I didn't read the ending properly
This also happens when people say "I love you". I know friends who have said it first and waited for a few weeks before their partners said it back to them, and friends who were the ones who could not say it back immediately!
But I think it all jsut comes down to communicating. If you don't ask, you'll never know.
Probably very difficult to quite easy. As with everything, it depends. In some relationships, the partners are open with each other about wants and/or needs however when they aren't, it can be a difficult thing to bring up. Some could do it at the beginning of a relationship, especially in online dating where facial and vocal expressions and body language aren't there. So then, at the beginning you could bring it up but then, it's all about when you are ready. Your partner might even bring it up with you first. It might make the other person uncomfortable when you ask, but sometimes you need to. Of course, if it's an incomfortable issue, it's fine to take a step back and maybe plan to make another time when you are both ready to talk about it.
@Chloee, haha that's a lovely image
Yeah I agree, the question is sort of inevitable.. and being able to communicate to each other would be more important than the discomfort in the end!
How difficult can it be to know what you and the person you date want out of the relationship?
I think communication would be important, like asking about and expressing what you both want so that things are clear.. but doing this can be difficult and might feel awkward.. like when's the best time to bring it up? Will asking about it make the other person feel uncomfortable? Maybe it's just finding the right time to talk about it - not too soon but not sort of dragging things out before talking about it? I'm not sure
But with online apps and stuff, it sounds like it would be hard to tell the other person's intentions from their profile alone... but maybe it would be easier to ask about intentions since it's online
@nc_reachout13 haha that's a nice surprise! maybe instagram is the new tinder...
