[Chat] Stuck in the middle?

We've had one heck of a conversation tonight, and a much-needed one too! For those who missed it, here's the abridged version:

It seems like being ‘in the middle’ can feel like you don’t know what to feel. You’re not happy enough to say that you’re happy, but you’re not down enough to feel sad. It could also feel like an emptiness or lack of feeling, or just being conflicted about what feelings you’re having. But it can also mean having the energy to do daily tasks that were once unthinkable, or not feeling your symptoms so strongly. The middle, like mental illness in general, isn’t the same for everyone, or the same context.

The middle isn’t always the worst for everyone. If you have intense highs and/or lows, being in the middle can actually be a welcome relief. Sometimes just having a little break from your symptoms is all you want. But even if you are frustrated by it, sometimes putting it in perspective can really help. Being in the middle can mean being in a better place, or being able to do things you weren’t able to do when you first started out to recover from your mental illness.

Coping with being in the middle can be tough, but acceptance and mindfulness can go a long way. It’s okay to feel the way you do, and you can even use it as a way of learning about yourself. That’s always useful, especially since once we hit a difficult point we know more about how to cope. Of course, the middle itself can be a coping mechanism, especially between rough or intense patches.

Our emotions don’t stay the same forever, and so the middle is healthy in that way. These times can be important too, to slow down and assess how we are and how far we’ve come. It seems that perspective is the most important thing when it comes to the middle – knowing that these moments are bound to happen, and knowing that not feeling happy isn’t always the same as feeling sad. Sometimes, your feelings just aren’t all that intense.

Asking for support can be tricky, since not everyone can understand what it means to be in the middle. Besides, sometimes it can feel like we don’t need help. However, when we do find that support, it can be really helpful for our wellbeing. It can be easier to talk through your past experiences, like learning about triggers or how a coping mechanism has worked for you. In some cases, we might not even need it, since the middle itself can be a place of calm and rest

When it comes to other people telling us about their ‘middle’ experiences, the issue seems to be less about starting the conversation and more about how to have one. People might not even think that the middle is worth discussing. So then how do we go about talking about it? Asking about what the other person needs can be a great place to start. It can also help to give people the time and space to have these conversations, especially since they don’t seem to happen often. By which I mean that you never seem to see these conversations in the media, or even in other places where mental health is discussed.

We seem to think that support is only important or available for a crisis, and once that’s over we don’t need to worry about our mental health anymore. So to try and get a conversation going, perhaps we can start with our own mental health – how can we use the middle as a way of focusing our mental health recovery?

Other conversations are needed, of course. Like the highs and the lows, the middle is just as common with mental health, so we should talk about it too. Normalising it in the public eye will make it easier for us to tell each other how the middle affects us, and like with other mental health issues, will make support so much more accessible for everyone

Thank you to @Chessca_H and @Ben-RO for their help moderating, and to everyone who came out for this long-awaited discussion. Have a great night guys!!