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[SLOW-MO CHAT] Beauty Standards
Hello everyone!
I think in today's society that we all struggle at some point to conform to the beauty standards we see on social media, magazines, celebrities, etc. and often this is because these standards may be unrealistic. So this GR is all about discussing what are some beauty standards that we hold and how it can negatively impact us.
Come and join us for a chat about beauty standards starting on Monday 24th September with a new question each day!
But it's important to remember that these standards are often unrealistic and can have negative impacts on our self-esteem and mental health. One thing I've personally struggled with is feeling like I need to have perfect skin, especially as I've gotten older and started to notice more wrinkles and fine lines. That's why you might be interested to see the link https://rawbeautyaesthetics.com/services/filler-treatment-in-woodland-hills-ca/ to learn about the Woodland Hills filler procedure. I think it's great that there are options out there for people who want to enhance their natural beauty and feel more confident in their own skin.
Hey there, I totally agree with you that beauty standards should come from within ourselves and not be dictated by society. It's so important to prioritize our own happiness and well-being over trying to fit into someone else's idea of what is beautiful.
I think the only beauty standards that we should follow are the ones that come from ourselves, not from society. Like for real, what good does it do us to try and meet the criteria of being beautiful made by society? Not even one, I tell you. Trust me that if you are doing something just for your own pleasure, not for other's sake you will be 100% happier. Take it from me, I had a long journey cause in today's world society's opinions tend to be powerful, but I learned to love myself and only do stuff for my own enjoyment, like I just booked a sofwave ultrasound for wrinkles and I can't wait, I'm so excited.
@Esperanza67 Great gif choices!!
I am really excited for this GR - such an important discussion to be having, and I'm sure everyone will have lots of things to share on how this issue has impacted us personally. Woo!
@gina-RO Eek me too! I saw this quote: "Beauty doesn't define you, it's the beauty inside that does. This one really resonated with me.
Happy Monday everyone! Here is the first question:
1. What are some beauty standards that we hold in our community/wider society?
Sorry I'm just catching up today, I wasn't feeling up to responding yesterday, but I'm here today 🙂
1. What are some beauty standards that we hold in our community/wider society?
I think everyone has already hit the nail on the head with this one. I don't have anything else to add
@litgym yes I agree! I love to wear what I'm comfortable in, and thus I do 😛 Given I'm well out of high school now and kinda couldn't care what others think, I still have times where I wonder if my outfit is going to be on a similar par, like when I went to a friends' partners' party about 2-3 months back, I questioned what to wear because I had no idea, I ended up dressing okay, but was so cold as I didn't know we'd be OUTSIDE! ooops! 😄 but I sat next to the outdoor heater and was all good.
@Asche the imagery of where those shorts are is amazing! I agree with @lokifish please write a novel!
2. Why do you think we hold these beauty standards?
Sometimes I think we hold these beauty standards because we are taught them through advertising for various products and the advertising is EVERYWHERE! Tv, radio, internet, magazines etc. And with this we feel pressured into conforming to these standards. Social pressure also helps hold these beauty standards in place, like I know in high school I would follow what my friends did so I wasn't the "odd one out", if they wore their hair down, mine was done. if they wore their skirt I did. I was anxious about not fitting in and alot of that translated into me following others. Now, while I still have anxious thoughts I'm a lot better equipped to deal with them. I tend to wear what I feel comfortable in, as I've come to see when I'm not comfortable in my clothes I feel so uncomfortable and I just cannot enjoy myself. So if I don't feel comfy in it, I don't tend to wear it.
@ecla34 I agree with your response to Q2. Trying to meet these standards (which can sometimes be unrealistic) can be so hard (and sometimes impossible) and it can deffinately have an impact on our self wort
Time for today's question ☺
3. How can beauty standards negatively impact society? Do they impact people the same or differently?
I am loving this GR, and everyone's inputs!!
For today's question: How can beauty standards negatively impact society? Do they impact people the same or differently?
I guess I can only speak from my own observations and experience, but I see mainstream beauty standards having a massive negative impact on society generally... although those running the beauty industry and the diet industry are hugely benefiting by profiting off the insecurities they encourage in everyone else...
Beauty standards exclude many many people, and people who are the least "beautiful" by those restricting standards, are the ones who will be the most negatively impacted.. so people who are not young, thin, able-bodied, clear -skinned etc, will have the hardest time. They are the least represented in the media, and the most judged by society. Having said that, I think we all are negativley impacted in some way or another, as none of us are perfect, but all feel like we should be.
Wasting money (so much money!) and time on beauty products, diets etc is just one way we are negatively impacted.
There is a fantastic documentary called Embrace that I recommend for people to watch - it unpacks these harmful expectations and pressures, and looks at a way to fully accept the bodies we've each been given.
For me, accepting myself exactly as I am has been a long journey, and will continue to be!
When we acknowledge that our poor self-esteem is not our fault, but the fault of a society that forces us to always look at our flaws, it becomes easier to move towards self -acceptance, and self-love.
In a world that encourages self-hate, and continuous self-improvement, self-love is a revolutionary act.
I completely agree @gina-RO.
The media tends to only portray the 'perfect' people rather than including everyone. This negatively impacts those who are not represented who strive to be more like those 'perfect people'. Everyone is perfect and beautiful in their own way!!! 🙂
I think @dog_lover94 @gina-RO have both covered question 3 completely! Such great answers!
I agree - such insightful answers!!
I think the irony of the situation is that it's only through accepting our bodies as they are that we can begin to change them. Changing your diet because you hate your body isn't going to lead to healthy outcomes - you'll still feel negatively about your body no matter how much you weigh. Changing your diet because you love your body and want to nourish it, on the other hand, is likely to work out much better over the long term. Of course, happiness doesn't sell as well as anxiety does, so marketing companies continue to prey on our insecurities.
I also love your point about culture @annabethxchase! For example, in Western cultures having the perfect tan is considered beautiful (so fake tan is our go-to) whereas in countries such as India, having pale skin is ideal (so skin bleaching creams are the norm 😕) It shows that all the rules about beauty are bullshit and are purely a social construct, rather than any sort of universal law
Since this is soo late (sorry guys!) I'm going to post today and tomorrow's questions 🙂
4. Are comparisons bad and what can we do to help prevent upwards comparison? (i.e thinking someone is prettier or better than oneself)
5. How can we promote positive thoughts surrounding body image?
@Esperanza67 @annabethxchase @litgym @Asche @scared01 @dog_lover94 @ecla34 @lokifish @gina-RO
Haha All good @Bee <3333
4. Are comparisons bad and what can we do to help prevent upwards comparison? (i.e thinking someone is prettier or better than oneself)
I really hate when people compare themselves to someone else, you really can't compare 2 people - we all have different and unique personalities! It's like comparing an orange and a baseball bat (completely random) When we compare, we are often finding faults in ourselves or someone else.
I think the first step to prevent this is to accept. We need to learn to accept ourselves for who we are and not worry about what others look like or what they may think of us. For a lot of people this is really tough! Accepting yourself is tricky because you are you worst critic and you hold the strongest opinion about yourself. (Did that make any sense?)
5. How can we promote positive thoughts surrounding body image?
In this day and age (I sound old) there are a ton of great adverts about body image and some good campaigns to which I think is slowly changing the 'stigma' around body image. Modelling people (What are they called? Agents, companies?) are hiring people that aren't the stereotypical looking models. I think (I have said 'I think' so many times!) this is great because it is breaking the 'normal' and replacing it with something different but still completely fine (Words are not my friend I'm so sorry if this makes 0 sense, it's coming from the heart!)
@annabethxchase I love those answers! It's so true that everyone is so unique that there really is no point in comparing!! I completely agree that acceptance is the key to this stuff - which can be a daily, sometimes hourly, active choice we have to make. It's not easy, or quick , but it gets easier the more we practice self-acceptance and self-love.
5. How can we promote positive thoughts surrounding body image?
I agree with you @annabethxchase that there's lots of great stuff happening out there in the world of body-positivity! It's powerful seeing different body types in a positive light!
If you have instragram, I recommend unfollowing every single account that ever makes you feel bad about who are.
Instead follow leaders in the body-positive movement - follow people who look like you, follow people who don't look like you.
If you want some suggestions here are a few:
effyourbeautystandards
TuriaPutt
bodyposipanda
scarrednotscared
selfloveclubb
Watching that doco I shared yesterday - Embrace - is a good way to challenge negative beliefs about bodies.
A way to promote positive thoughts is to intentionally think them! Stick positive statements on your mirror - like Every body is unique and beautiful and so is mine! or All the things I see as imperfections are just part of who I am!
One of my favorite things to think about in regards to bodies, is how much we love and respect trees as they age - the lines, marks, and blemishes on their thickening trunk are all a part of their history, and things that we admire. Yet when it comes to our own marks and changes- wrinkles, stretch marks, scars, acne - we hide them and feel ashamed- why? Just like a tree we are a natural, changing and growing life form.
All the marks and changing parts of our body are a part of our story
@gina-RO, You just put everything I was trying (and failing) to say into one spectacular post! Lovee the idea of sticky notes to remind ourselves that we are beautiful just the way we are.
@gina-RO I love how you mention that acceptance is a choice that we actively make! Sometimes with depression there's helplessness of "I'm always going to feel this way; I couldn't change even if I wanted to" when it's so not true. While we can't control most things, we do have agency over what we think - nobody can take your thoughts away from you
I also think (and this is just me) some of the body positivity stuff is a bit stupid. For example, happy people don't stand in front of the mirror and tell themselves they're happy. Part of me feels like the answer is to just move away from focusing on our bodies completely? Remind yourself that you're smart, creative, compassionate etc. not that you're beautiful. Maybe I'm being a bit unrealistic there, though - people are always going to focus on external beauty (as opposed to internal qualities) to some degree, so better to encourage them to take a positive view of it 🙂
@lokifish totally see what you're saying.
I think focusing on things in your life other than your body is really important. And sometimes the language of "love your body" is too much. I feel the word accept is more appropriate for a lot of us.
I guess I see body positivity as being more about changing the way you think about your body - reframing the body's purpose.
The shift for me has been from seeing my body as something for people to look at, and a way for people to judge who I am - to instead being something that is a vessel for all of the living I want to do.
Eg. Exercise becomes about stress-relief, and fun, rather than to change how my body looks.
More ideas:
-Thanking your body for everything it has done each day is a good practice.
-If you have a negative thought about your body - try to remind yourself of a positive thing about that same body part. For example if you have a harsh thought about your legs, you can say - but they got me to the places I needed to be today . Or in response to a negative thought about your face - you can can say, my face is how the people that love me recognise me and communicate with me. Whatever sits right with you.
(can you tell this is one of my favourite topics???)
@gina-RO I really love the comparison between the way we think of people and the way we view trees, it's such a beautiful way of thinking about it. I also find re-framing the way i think about my body really useful too, it does everything for me and deserves the recognition 😛
Thanks for an awesome chat everyone!
Sorry I dropped out for a bit with answering questions, I wasn't quite up to responding, but I really love everyone's answers! Especially @gina-RO who is very passionate about the topic and has lots of amazing and insightful info/perspectives for us all!
Our final question is a bit of a summary:
What is one thing you've learnt from this week's chat that you can share with others?
@Esperanza67 @annabethxchase @litgym @Asche @scared01 @dog_lover94@ecla34 @lokifish @gina-RO
So I think "body acceptance" rather than "body positivity" sits better with me (for a lot of people they're probably the same thing, but I think there's important nuance in there)
I really like those ideas though! I already try and do the same thing with my emotions (though I'm not very good at it :P) where I'll acknowledge the functional/adaptive/positive role they play. Instead of being frustrated that I'm anxious, I can say "but it helped keep me safe the time my neighbours house was on fire" Nothing is black and white, and therefore nothing about us is "bad" 🙂
@lokifish I completely get that - I can see how it's kinda similar to positive psychology stuff that can be really frustrating!
If you're interested, check out some of those grams I mentioned before and see what you think - I'd be interested to hear your thoughts!
I love that, and agree that "body acceptance" is an important nuanced difference from body positivity.
Oh and speaking of beauty standards, I want to link this video, which I quite like. It's by an artist I follow Jody Steel.