SLOW-MO GR: Being kind to myself (18th to 22nd of January)

@featuringme thanks for posting the question

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?

If your not kind to yourself this majorly negatively affect your overall life. Like with work/study overworking is easy when someone feels they are never hitting their own standards. In relationships, this can affect how open or how the person represents themselves. For me personally with eating, when I hated myself I would binge eat and just not look after myself. These just a few consequences highlighting why kindness to ourselves like give to others is so important.

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?

Hmm, i would say both yes and no. I find that we are often kinder to other people then we are ourselves. I can be super hard on myself and unforgiving for some habits or things ive done or think however when it comes to others ive been known to be 'too forgiving'. im much better at being kinder and guiding others along through both good and bad times much better then myself. 

@Milkninja222 thank you, I would love to hear your response to these questions or the next round. 

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

Taking time to rest and break from work/study. Talking to myself like I would a best friend, reminding myself I'm human and I'm not perfect

Why is important?

This important for overall health with an emphasis on mental/emotional health. Also for me personally life has highlighted the importance of being your own best friend.

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

Today and last week I have been taking time off working and working out since I'm a little burnout and switching the negative thoughts for more positive ones

@featuringme and @Kaylee-RO I had pretty similar response to you, great minds think alike and thanks for answering these.

Hope to see different and the same people reply to the tomorrows round of questions 

@scared01 

I love your answers to the questions - especially the one ‘what does being kind to ourselves mean?’ I really needed that reminder that not everything has to be perfect and that it’s important to learn and move forward  thanks so much! 

Super excited for this chat 😄

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

It means different things for different people. When it comes down to the core of it for me, I think it means looking after your own needs (physical, social, emotional, spiritual, etc.). It's also about whether things you do align with your values.

An example of when someone isn't kind to themselves could be like if you think you're a bad person, then you might act like how you think you should, by pushing people away and acting bitter and that could be a way of self sabotaging. Being kind to ourselves would be challenging this belief about yourself and following your values in relationships (e.g. being open and honest)

Why is important?

It's important so we can be happy and healthy and respect ourselves

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

Today I played piano for a little while for the first time in AGES (since the start of the pandemic)- I had just kind of lost interest in it. And my parents sort of always used to thank me for playing so it didn't feel like something I did for me. But today I shut the doors and played for me 🙂 (albeit very poorly because I'm way out of practice)

Looking forward to seeing the responses for this chat! Already loving what I've seen so far.

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

I think it means looking after ourselves, and I associate it with self-care. Physically, we can take care of ourselves by exercising, eating well and getting enough rest. Looking after ourselves physically can also help our mental health. We could also listen to music, meditate, and have breaks from stressful things like work or school. We can be kind to ourselves in many different ways, and whatever way we choose is valid! Who we interact with can also have drastic effects on our wellbeing. Looking after ourselves can also involve setting boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with supportive and caring people. 

Why is important?

Being kind to ourselves is important for our mental health. Looking after ourselves ensures that we stay healthy physically and mentally. Although being kind to ourselves is important, there are a lot of obstacles that can prevent that from happening. In society, for example, I feel like there is too much emphasis placed on success and achievement. This can be a dangerous mindset, for people will feel obligated to sacrifice their wellbeing to achieve this. 

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

Last week, I bought a shelf for my bedroom. I've become stingy recently, so buying expensive items makes me feel uneasy. But, I haven't bought anything expensive in a while, so I decided to buy it. Whilst it's important to make sure we don't spend too much money, I should be more open to treating myself to a few items.

What does being kind to ourselves mean?
I think it means accepting ourselves, taking care of ourselves, and acknowledging that while we may not be perfect, we are trying our best and learning to be the best version of ourselves.

Why is it important?
I feel as though I have to take care of myself before I can take care of other people. Knowing myself also helps me make better decisions. When I am kind to myself, I have better physical and mental health.

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?
When I find myself slipping into self-criticism, I try to talk to my inner self like how a friend would talk to me.  I also list all the good things I have done recently and think about what I like about myself.

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?
I think so. I feel like when I am confident about myself and clear about my values, it helps make knowing what I want out of a relationship clearer. I also feel like being kind to myself helps me be more resilient in the face of setbacks, bad days at work or bad grades.

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

I would say the gift of perspective, being able to forgive ourselves, being able to change the types of attributions we make and being able to experience gratitude. I also think it is important to remember how we have overcome obstacles we have faced in the past. Knowing the kinds of self-care that you prefer, being willing to experiment with your wellbeing and being open to personal growth can also come in handy. I have a diary where I write what I did for self-care, how it made me feel and whether I would try it again.

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?
- I think it's helpful to have a support network or someone who can cheer you on, work on a challenge with you or be an 'accountability partner'.
- Scheduling in time just for ourselves. You could use a timer to take a study break, use a timetable or diary or set a reminder on your phone.
- Setting SMART goals and make a plan of what to do if we experience challenges or obstacles along the way.
- Possibly changing our expectations and how we measure success. Success is not about never failing or messing up. For some people, it could be as simple as getting out of bed and facing the day, even if we don't want to.
- Reframing negative thoughts in a more positive light.

Hey All!! I think this is a great Slow MO discussion! Coming into the new year I am sure lots of people have made new year resolutions and goals to tackle on, but being mindful to be kind to yourselves and work within your limits is so important! 

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

Taking a time out to rest, reflect and reboot ourselves is the best form of kindness. Taking breaks from work, school/study, friends, family, sports etc. to rest will only maximise your efforts down the track! Being reflective on your everyday, how your feeling, checking in with yourself and making points of gratitude through your day 

Why is important?

You are your first person, your own best friend, and there is nothing more painful than seeing your best friend run down, and hurting! Nurture yourself 

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

This morning! I went for my morning walk, listened to a podcast and did some flow/meditation before work to start my week