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Dealing with self-harm/suicidal thoughts

@Bree-RO I made another thread

lokifish
lokifishPosted 14-02-2017 07:32 PM
 
 
 
 
 
Bree-RO
Bree-ROPosted 16-02-2017 08:44 PM

@lokifish that's a real bummer SCBS didn't help.. Did you feel they didn't really hear you etc?

Nah you're okay - we just want to support you. Has something happened today?

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 16-02-2017 08:52 PM

I just had some weetbix and put some calming music on, maybe that will help

 
 
 
 
 
Bree-RO
Bree-ROPosted 16-02-2017 08:55 PM

@lokifish that's bloody awesome - how many weetbix? Not so awesome around the wanting to die.. Uni/Tafe already quite stressful? Do you think the weetbix and the calming tunes will help?

 

Gosh I feel like weetbix now.

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 16-02-2017 09:01 PM

@Bree-RO yeah I needed to eat but didn't want to go in the kitchen because there's stuff I can hurt myself with. I usually have four in the mornings and most evenings I'll have another four, I pretty much live off them. Yeah dunno if you've read the other thread but I'm thinking of taking a semester off my nursing degree to do childcare at TAFE. Any kind of change is a massive deal for me so it's really hard to think about 😞 the music is helping though

 
 
 
 
 
Bree-RO
Bree-ROPosted 16-02-2017 09:06 PM

@lokifish that is an amazing daily weetbix intake, weetbix are amazing. Weetbix are LYF.

 

What about the change is tricky do you think?

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 16-02-2017 09:24 PM

I'm thinking of eventually combining the two by going into maternal and child health nursing but that'll involve a fair bit of post grad study and my head wants to explode just thinking about it all

 
 
 
 
 
Bree-RO
Bree-ROPosted 16-02-2017 09:27 PM

@lokifish sounds cool though - could you do post grad part time to ease the burden a little?

 

@DruidChild what are your thoughts on study/decision making?

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 16-02-2017 09:38 PM

@Bree-RO I guess because my dad's literally been in the same job since he was 21, and mum's only changed careers once, I feel like I have to get it right the first time. But that's not really realistic in this day and age so yeah maybe I'll just see where it takes me 🙂 I'll defs be doing post grad part time so I can work as an RN at the same time

 

(Also that gif is totally me omg)

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 17-02-2017 11:08 AM

@lokifish omg that gif really is!

 

Can we make a new thread together and  think through the changes?

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 17-02-2017 02:51 PM

@Ben-RO Tbh I don't have the energy to make yet another thread. Someone else do it 😛

 
 
 
 
 
DruidChild
DruidChildPosted 17-02-2017 03:21 PM

@lokifish I'm still 19 and I've changed career plans twice in the last three years so you're not alone, trust me! I actually did two years of a degree before I realised it wasn't what I wanted, so now I'm starting a whole new degree. Honestly I think it's better to be happy with what you're doing (even if it takes you longer to get there) than to do something just for the sake of doing it.

I believe in you, you'll get to where you wan to be eventually! It's okay if it takes longer than planned. 

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 18-02-2017 04:13 PM

On the plus side I guess I've now figured out one thing that I don't want to do (aged care) which is still useful to know

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 18-02-2017 04:12 PM

@DruidChild yeah it's just hard because I've always thought I've known what I wanted to do, but I feel like I'm now being torn in two different directions. And I feel like I need to pick one so I have a concrete plan (even though life doesn't work like that) I hate being in limbo and second guessing myself on whether the decisions I'm making are the "right" ones

 
 
 
 
 
DruidChild
DruidChildPosted 18-02-2017 06:21 PM

That does sound tricky @lokifish, it's okay if you don't have a concrete plan yet. I think that if you do end up going into early childhood you'd be really good with kids, you come across as having a very gentle and caring personality 🙂 Can you do some self care tonight and be kind to yourself while you're going through this stress? Heart

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 20-02-2017 07:49 PM

So as usual I feel like shit and want to die. Everything is hard 😞 maybe I should put some music on and do some colouring

 
 
 
 
 
Sally-RO
Sally-ROPosted 20-02-2017 08:17 PM

@lokifish hey there, sorry you are feeling so crap right now.

Can I just check if you are planning to stay safe or hurt yourself tonight?

Colouring and music sounds fab - what have you got to colour/what do you have to to listen too?

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 20-02-2017 08:41 PM

@Sally-RO I have all the usual plans running through my head but I haven't acted on any of them yet. I have new Play School colouring books (because we all know how much of a kid I am) so I'm colouring Jemima 😄

 

IMG_8381.JPG

 
 
 
 
 
Olivia123
Olivia123Posted 20-02-2017 09:03 PM

This is such a great idea, don't feel childish, colouring has shown to have a very theraputic effect on people of all ages, they even have colouring books aimed at older people if people don't feel comfortable using a childrens one. But to he honest I love the children's ones too, they spark such fond memories in me (in this case of playschool). 

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 21-02-2017 10:04 AM

@Olivia123 oh trust me, if you spend some time looking around the forums you'll see that I'm not afraid to be childish 😛 I have adult colouring books too but yeah the kids ones are more fun. Have you checked out our colouring thread? Welcome to RO by the way 🙂

 

Progress update on the Jemima pic for @Sally-RO:

 

IMG_8384.JPG

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 21-02-2017 02:24 PM

I am so fucking dumb I'm never going to be able to finish a course let alone get a job. I should just hurry up and die I'm sick of being sick

 
 
 
 
 
N1ghtW1ng
N1ghtW1ngPosted 21-02-2017 02:58 PM
Courses at uni and tafe are hard @lokifish, but there are a lot of supports and help out there to get you through them. You are definitely not dumb, and you can absolutely get through the course.
 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 21-02-2017 04:30 PM

It's all way too much to think about right now, I need to just focus on getting through the rest of the day without dying.

 
 
 
 
 
TOM-RO
TOM-ROPosted 21-02-2017 05:24 PM

Hey @lokifish ... Did you find something soothing to focus on? I hope so! 🙂

 

~Lina/RO

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 21-02-2017 06:20 PM

@TOM-RO I've just been reading stuff on another forum I lurk. I still feel shit though

 
 
 
 
 
Sally-RO
Sally-ROPosted 20-02-2017 08:59 PM

glad to hear you are safe, if anything changes in terms of you acting out on your plans please get in touch with 000 or the Suicide Call Back Service.

On a different note...........JEMIMA! You have taken me back about 20 years to my childhood!!!!! Please show us the finished product?

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