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I'm certain a teacher is covering up a sexual assualt case
Hey guys, sorry for not being on here in a while. The support I got from my previous topic was really nice, thanks to everyone who gave advice. It turns out that I've been trying to log onto the American Reachout website for the last couple days -.-.
But things have been happening at school that have really horrified me honestly. I never thought it would actually happen but I REALLY believe a teacher at my school is trying to cover up a sexual assualt case.
I know it sounds outlandish, but the circumstances all point towards a cover-up and it's really freaking me out. I swear that I'm wholey telling the truth and am not fabricating or exagerating anything, I'm just telling you guys what happened. This is a long but really horrible post.
I'll explain. Last monday two girls One and Two (to protect their identities) came to class late and upset. They sat down next to me and told me that Guy had sexually assualted One in the previous lunch. They said it had been happening for six months and that they had even avoided school to stay away from him. He had been assaulting One by grabbing her breats roughly even when One and Two told him not to. They had never told anyone else before because they were embarrassed and scarred to. Plus, they both come from really dysfunctional families and didn't want to get in trouble. It must have been pretty bad this time because they went and told the welfare teachers Mr Black and Mrs White (again, not real names). They teachers said they would deal with it and sent the girls to class.
The next day I arrived early in the morning and saw that Guy was still hanging around where One and Two sat with their friends. One was away from him but upset because he had approached her that morning. At recess i went to Mrs. Grey, a proactive and tough teacher. I explained it all to her and she said she would follow it up. SHe went and talked to Guy, but neither One or Two. I waited until Thursday to see her again. That afternoon I went and looked for the deputy principle as Guy was still hanging around us. I couldn't find him but found Mr Math who told me to write up a statement on it all.
On Wednesday I gave it to Mr Maths and he said he would give it to the deputy.
On Thursday, things got really messed up. Towards the end of the day I went to see Mrs Grey and asked her what had happened. First, she confirmed she didn't talk to the victim and then claimed that he confessed to doing it. BUT THEN INSISTED HE HAD NO IDEA IT WAS WRONG. Let this be clear, Guy is roughly 15-16 years old!!!! For six months and with the girls constantly telling him not to, he apparently had no goddamn idea it was wrong. Did I mention that he only ever did it when the girls were alone and away from others? AS BLOODY IF. I told her that he was mearly saying that to get away with it, but then she said that it was Ones fault for "hanging around him". She said that it was up to One and Guy to talk it out and that One is "a grown girl" who can handle it all by herself. One is roughly 15-16, both are students and it always happened ON SCHOOL GROUNDS AND IN SCHOOL HOURS!!!!! She ended it by saying, very angrily, :" Dont worry about it." This sounds a whole more like "Dont talk about it".
Wouldn't the school have to act - of course they would have to get invovled. Surely thats part of the rules when this is reported right?! I have a friend with a mum whose a teacher and she said they should do something, so why aren't they. Mrs Grey made it clear that it was over with AND THE BOY HAS GOTTEN OFF SCOTT FREE! I know this because in our school you miss a lunch or recess if you get a detention, yet every lunch and recess hes been out in the playground. NOONE has talked to One about it and Mrs Grey's attitude utterly disgusts me! I suspect that he hasn't had a detention because you have to write down a reason for one and if they wrote "sexual assualt", then surely the school would have to act. My question is, who do I go to next? I was hoping for the deputy but Im straight up thinking of going to the police with this because it just sounds illegal. What do you guys think I should do, cause Im the only who knows about this I have to do something!
@moonwalk @Sophie-RO Thank you guys so much for the support throughout all this 🙂
Hey guys, I FINALLY got through to my counsellor last night and the news was relatively good. Because she's an outside source, the school's been really secretive to her and while she herself was upset with how the school handled this, she told me that action had been taken. Unfortunetly I think this may be the end of the line for me cause I don't think I can really do that much more. The girl seems OK now and Guy has been staying away from her. I'll continue to keep an eye out for anything, but I think I've done all I realistically can. Thank you so much for all the advice, shoutouts and kindness during this really stressful ordeal. I'm glad that I came on here and I hope I've done enough for the poor girls 😞
Just wanted to say again how proud I am of you for pursuing this as far as you did @bumblesheep! You've really helped those girls so much.
You are a great role model.
Firstly, thanks for the support everyone. Having you guys help me through this has really helped me through this. I managed to get on 1800-RESPECT and they helped me clear my mind of all the stress I was having and gave some advice on where to go next. They also suggested that I go to an out-of-school person, which was good since I went to see my headspace counsellor. For the first time I felt like someone (IRL) actually listened to me and agreed that this was all messed up. I must've spent about 2 hours with her going through everything and it was refreshing that someone IRL actually cared. My counsellor is a really good person who has connections to child services and the police (I dont know the specific details but I do know that she has really helped me in the past). SHe took a copy of my statement and timeline and is going to go directly to the school and talk to teachers and the counsellors. I'm really excited about her dedication to this and she said she would call me with any updates in the next week. I'm really happy because I know she'll do something about this and I kind of wish I saw her first. Anyway, I'll update again when I get some news. Unfortunately, Guy came and talked to our group but thankfully One was away. Her friends seem to be on good terms with him, which is messed up considering they know about this. Anyway, thanks guys and see you soon!
You are a regular Erin Brockovich!! We're proud of you!
Thanks for the support everyone. This week I've been busy with a Japanese exchange student staying with me and have missed lots of school. On Wednesday I'm going to call my counsellor and see how things are and I'll update you guys then. Again, thanks for all the kind words and support.
I've been unable to get in contact with her since Wednesday im sorry guys ill update as soon as i can
Thanks for keeping us all in the loop @bumblesheep. And remember, if you're getting stressed or upset while dealing with this heavy situation, we're hear to chat. It can be really tough taking on this sort of thing, so I just wanted to remind you, you're not alone!
Sorry guys, STILL can't through to her 😞 I'm gonna keep trying but it's just been so hard. I also found out something else the other day that could be important. According to the school counsellor, Guy, One and Two are all in special education classes together. She was saying that Guy's learning disability could affect the way he views consent. I know absolutely nothing about their conditions, so I really don't know what to think.
Hmm, I find it a bit concerning that your school counsellor is not only speculating on the learning difficulties of other students, but sharing that information publicly and using it as an excuse for sexual assault @bumblesheep. Keep trying to reach out to your counsellor if you have the strength, and remember to look after yourself too!
@bumblesheep I just wanted to say that you're an absolute champion for putting in so much effort! - internet high five -
Also just wanted to let you know how awesome you are for pursuing this @bumblesheep! It's really inspiring to see someone doing so much for other people who need help.
Wow, that is great @bumblesheep! I am so glad to hear the folks at 1800RESPECT and Headspace were able to help you manage the stress and get this sorted out with your school. Finally some happy news 🙂
Hi @bumblesheep, this sounds like really heavy stuff that you're dealing right now and I think you're really brave for standing up for these girls at your school! I hope there is someone you can turn to yourself for some support yourself (like a family member of friend).
Teachers have a duty of care to young people and in fact are part of a special group of people called "Mandatory Reporters" (You can read about it here at the NSW Government website if you're curious). Essentially they are obligated by law to report any suspicion that a young person is being abused or placed in a situation where they are at risk of harm. Mandatory reporters are actually lawfully obligated to make a report if they suspect a "young person has initiated sexually abusive behaviour", as what the "Guy" in your story has done (information is taken from the Mandatory Reporting Guide if you're interested). It might be something worthwhile bringing up with your friend's teacher-mum as she might be able to shed some more light on it then I can (I only have a very brief understanding of the legislation and how it applies). It's worth noting that depending on the age of those involved (over 16 or under 16) there is some variations in the legislation.
I definitely agree with you that how this teacher has handled the situation is not appropriate, and I would be really annoyed and angry about it as well if I were you (in fact, I'm angry about it now). The fact that the teacher has not approached the girls who have been victimised about this is very concerning, regardless of what kind of punishment that the 'Guy' would recieve. As someone responsible for the well-being of students, the young girls should be offered support and help as what they have gone through would be really upsetting and scary.
I think that talking to the Deputy or Principal would be a really good idea for your next move. If you have a school counsellor they may also be able to offer you some advice. You can also talk to the police about the issue and ask for some advice about how the situation should be handled. If the girls involved are willing, it would be really good to get them involved as well. They could also go directly to the police and give statements, allowing the police to liase with the school. You can phone police stations directly and if there is an officer available then they will be able to give you advice over the phone.
Whatever happens, you should be really proud of yourself for speaking out against what has happened! You are absolutely right in saying that "He didnt' realise it was wrong" is not an excuse for his behaviour. Wishing you all the best! I hope you are able to make some progress!
And, on a side note - it may be useful if you write down the dates of who you spoke to about the issue and what they said etc, in case you do need to take things further.
Thank you so much for the support, infomation and advice. I'm definetely going to the counsellor tommorow and im gonna see the deputy as well. Im also gonna start recording all the dates and everything because that could be important later on. Unfortunately One told her mum and got yelled at so she doesn't want to come forward with me :(. I dont want to embarrass her, but im really worried for her so Ive gotta tell people. And im gonna talk with my friends mum about this since i think shes dealt with this as well. I'll update if anything major happens, thank you 🙂
Hi @bumblesheep, you've shown a lot of courage to not only do what's right, but to also support and stand up for these two girls from your school. Sometimes victims of sexual assault aren't able to speak up about what's happened to them and they need help from others. In this case, the teachers at your school should also be there for these girls and do something about what has been happening to them. As @KitKat said, they have a duty of care for all of their students, and for this particular teacher to handle this matter in the way they have is ridiculous.
Taking this to the school counsellor is deifnitely the right thing to do. Thank you for being brave enough to pursue this further for these 2 girls. I'm so sorry to hear that one of them doesn't have the support at home to help them through this. Hopefully the support they've gotten from you and soon from the counsellor help them through this horrible ordeal.
Please keep us in the loop as this progresses and don't forget to seek out any support you may need during this time. It's a very heavy situation and can also take it's toll on the people supporting victims of sexual assault.
The counsellor was away today so I went to see the deputy principle. Unfortunately it was not good enough at all. When I tried to explain Mrs Grey actions he not only constantly interrupted and doubted me, but he also waved it off with " She must've had a bad day." No joke, that was his respomse to the things she said. Then he said that he believed Guy and that since it happened last week, they cant do anything. When I reminded him that the girls reported it MINUTES after it happened, he got flustered and dodged the issue. He constantly tried to change the conversation and ignored every valid point I had. Im gonna go to the counsellor tommorrow, but I honestly just feel disgusted. AT recess Guy was leaning right over into One's face and when he left she looked upset. Im so angry I feel sick. God Im so disappointed.
The reaction from your vice-principal is completely unacceptable @bumblesheep. Hearing about it has made me angry, so I can only imagine how frustrated you feel right now. These teachers have a duty of care to all of their students, and for at least two of them to dismiss something as serious as a sexual assault is really irresponsible. I really admire your persistence in pursuing this, but at the same time I'm annoyed because you shouldn't even have to. It should have ended at the very first report from the victim. I hope your counsellor will give you a fair hearing tomorrow and act accordingly. There are avenues you can pursue outside of the school, and it might be worth reminding the counsellor of this should they attempt to brush you off again.
How are you coping with the anger? Are you ok?
Yeah, the counsellor is gonna be the next step. All this has made me feel sad more than anything. These teachers are teachers who've been able to help me in the past, so all of this is completely unbelievable. Plus, my family finds it funny and got angry when I told them I was pursuing it so Im doing this all behind their backs. Thankfully I do have some supportive friends, one even came with me to see the deputy as support. I'll update tommorrow afternoon, thank you everyone.
Far out, I cannot believe so many people are not taking this seriously! I'm so glad to hear you've got supportive friends @bumblesheep. Writing it all down is a good idea, it's always handy to have a paper trail.
I went to the school's counsellor and I think it went alright. She changed the topic pretty quickly but did promise she would "hassle" the teachers about it. When I first left her office I was pretty miserable, but I guess it's something. I'm not 100% certain something will happen and I'm probably gonna go further with this, but she at least seemed to care. Does anyone have anymore ideas as to who I could go to because the counsellor's only at school once a week and I still need to help I think.
Let me know what you think, you can webchat with them here: https://www.1800respect.org.au/get-help/