Homophobic parents
Hey
I am 16 years old and I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for 4 years now. I have gotten a lot better but recently things have been tough. I love my family with all my heart; but as someone part of the lgbtq+ community it has been really hard coming out to my parents and sisters.
i told my mum a few years ago that I am also attracted to girls and well let’s just say she had a bad reaction. So I told her it was a prank and i only said it to see her reaction and she was relieved. My dad on the other hand, he is a lot worse than my mum. I showed him who Jeffery star was and he said “imagine being that confused” and kept on saying that Jeffery is doing it for attention.
my sister has recently come out to them. And what my dad said to me was “she’s just doing it for attention” so yeah it’s hard telling them anything when they act like this. They blame my friends for my mental health getting worse, but really it’s them. My friends are so supportive of it and they care about me no matter who and what I like. I just wish my parents where the same.
Comments
Hi @Maize_Sloth !
I hope you and your sister are doing well 🙂 I'm glad to hear that even if your family is having some difficulties accepting you and your sister, that you guys still have each other and your friends to be there and accept you guys.
It sucks to hear that you had a difficult time coming out and that you've already been discouraged from doing so in the future. Parents and older generations can have difficulties accepting the norms of our generation and there can also a lot of cultural prejudices involved sometimes.
Stay strong friend! 😊
Hey@Anzelmo
thank you so much for your response. My sister and I have been talking and we do have things in common that we talk about it. But sometimes it's hard cause my sister and I are completely different and I can't stand her sometimes cause of her attitude.
thanks again
Hey @Maize_Sloth this sounds really hard to navigate and hurtful. It's so hard when you want to open up to your parents but feel like you can't.
I'm so happy to read you have supportive friends. Have you thought of talking to your sister about it? It sounds like she might understand what you're going through.
Also, just wanted to let you know that I made a little edit to your post. We like to keep the forum anonymous 🙂 I'll link the guidelines here for when you get a chance to have look through them.
Hey@Bre-RO
Thank you for your response I appreciate for you to listen. I have tried to talk to my sister who is part of the community as well but she isn't someone I can talk to she has her own stuff to deal with and she doesn't really care.
no worries for making the post anonymous I had no idea sorry.
I am actually coming out to my other sister tonight and I am very nervous but hopefully it goes well.
Hey @Maize_Sloth
Really awesome to hear that you are planning to come out to your sister tonight! 💜😊 If you would like to, do let us know how it goes. Well done for being brave and taking this step. We all hope we can support you in this!!
Hey@TOM-RO
thank you so much for your response. And I wanted to let everyone know that when I spoke to my sister it was amazing. She understood how hard it is for me to hide what I want to be and what I am, she was like giving me advice and she was being really considerate and understanding of what I said. She gave me advice on me telling my parents saying that the more I hide it the more they'll be upset I haven't told them. She is amazing and I am so glad I told her.
for some reason I feel more comfortable tell her than my other sisters and they've known about this longer than her haha.
Aww @Maize_Sloth I'm so proud and happy for you for talking to your sister about this and that it went well 😄❤️
Hi @Maize_Sloth, I'm so glad to hear that talking with your sister went well and that she was understanding and supportive ❤️ I can definitely relate - I remember coming out to my sister and it was so nerve-wracking and scary but the moment that she told me she supports me, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest! It takes a lot of courage to tell people who you are, especially your family, so congrats on taking that big step.
I think it makes a lot of sense that you feel more comfortable talking to her than your other sisters. Even though every queer person's experience is different, it's nice to know that people in the community have stood in your shoes and know how it feels to come out too. How are you feeling about her advice on telling your parents?
Hey@Portia_RO
thank you for your response. I definitely feel a lot better since the last time I saw her. I am wearing what I want to wear, dress how I want to dress and act how I want to act. They know but they don't want to admit it, there has been some signs that they know but don't want to admit it. I have thought about it but I know they won't let me see my friends and have sleepovers. They believe that if I am gay I have feelings for every man and women so I can't have sleepovers which isn't the case when I'm having sleepovers with my bestfriends. They will get angry that I didn't tell them sooner. So I made a promise to myself to not make it a huge deal and when I find someone that's female and it gets serious I will tell them because I am still young and still not sure if I am bi or gay.
Hi @Maize_Sloth (I love your username btw! 🙂 ) I'm really sorry to hear about your parents 😞 I can't imagine how horrible it would have felt to have had to say it was a prank 😞
I also think I'm part of the lgbtq+ community (though I'm kinda confused) and my parents always say stuff that seems kinda homophobic so I've always been too scared to tell them. Anyway, so I kind of get it I think? And my parents told me when I was younger in highschool that I was making up mental health problems for attention and I started to believe them, it was really damaging. So I imagine them saying stuff like that to you would have a really detrimental impact on your wellbeing 😞
I'm glad you have support in your friends ❤️ It's good to have some support as it can make you feel less trapped and like ashamed when you shouldn't be, just for being who you are...
I'm wondering if there's anything we can do to help? I could link you some supports and articles if you want? Also we recently had a group discussion which covered coming out and related stuff, if that would be helpful to read?
Of course we're also here to listen as well ❤️
Hey@Lost_Space_Explorer5
thank you so much for you reply ❤️ It means a lot people even listen to my story. And I'm so sorry your going through a similar thing cause I know how much it hurts and how much it sucks.
