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*Enters Witty subject line*

Hi Guys,

 

So I've been very absent again, and honestly, I've been avoiding logging in because I just don't have the mental capacity right now to support anyone, but I'm seriously stuck in life right now. And I remembered that being a builder here also means accepting help when you need it. So here's my story of recent.

 

In March I was offered a job with a freight company, I was excited and started work legit the following day. Anyway, things were great, despite the issues with my foot and mental health I was ok. I was struggling with the 2 jobs and made the decision in April to end employment with my first job and the freight company wanted me to go full time. I said I would give it a go. 

The second lady in the office left soon after I went full time. Which was a shock but that's ok. Things were stressful for a bit but I thought it was all well.

 

At the start of May, I decided to make to BOLD and STRONG decision to reveal/disclose my mental health issues/struggles with my manager. My Caseworker @ my job search agency did this for me as it was very anxiety provoking for me. It went well and the manager said she was accepting of that fact.... BUT things went downhill from there. within two weeks I was being told I wasn't working fast enough. I started to feel like I was drowning and I did withdraw from the manager and the boss and I started to become scared to talk to the boss especially over the phone!

 

I made some mistakes, and I fixed them. I found others' mistakes and fixed them. I got the blame for others' mistakes as well as my own.

 

The end of the month was coming up again and I was doing my absolute best, I've always done my absolute best but evidently, it just wasn't good enough. They finally made an appointment with my caseworker and set a date to have a review meeting. Which turned out to be them firing me. They gave me no forewarning they weren't happy with my work and I had no clue. But I knew that no matter how hard I tried, it always felt way too hard to approach my boss or manager....

 

 

It's nearly been 4 weeks since they dismissed me, and I'm still not feeling ok about it. I'm still upset. I'm only slightly angry now, but I feel so low and defeated. Everyone around me keeps saying to be strong, that I'll get another job. I don't think anyone actually realises the pain I'm in over it. I went from feeling like my life was finally starting to come to after my injury to have it all be taken away in a short 30minute meeting. It was like any chance of hope was just snatched from my grasp.


____________________________________________
~~ ☆ Be yourself ; Everyone else is already taken ♡ ~~

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

@Bee wow thats really terrible on your bosses behalf!! totally unacceptable in my eyes!

to me it sounds like you ahvent done anythign wrong at all and its them that has the problem.

 

are you able to speak to the boss or your case manager about their reasons or why you werent given notice or warnings or anythig that you werent doing your job right?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because your WORTH it!**

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

Hey there @Bee I am so sorry about this entire experience, you really took such great preventative measures and you did absolutely nothing wrong so this is very unjust. I am sure it's been mentioned to you before, but when you're up to it - will you be pursuing Fair Work at all to pop in a claim?

 

I am unsure if it helps but years ago I went through an incredibly similar situation, and it did completely shake me to my core. Was stoked to find a follow up employer who reminded me that my work ethic is actually top tier. I think most definitely, if you can - keep allowing yourself support from others. With job stuff, it is simply a matter of time. To me it sounds like your an incredible worker, and there will be opportunities for you for sure. Has your case worker been helpful at all?

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

Hi @Bee it's really nice to meet you! I'm Dirtwitch and I'm one of the new Builders here Smiley Happy

 

I'm so sorry that these things happened to you...the way they treated you was honestly bullshit and all the pain and anger you feel is very understandable. I know that people who tell you to be strong mean well, but it's 100% okay to feel really beat up about it and to give yourself space and compassion regarding how you feel. Is there anyone you can talk to for validation and support about this?

 

I don't know if this is helpful but I can definitely relate to how you feel....in the past I've also worked hard to try and recover and build a life in regards to my mental illness, only to have things go wrong and people blindside you even after you try to do the right thing. It's not an easy thing to get over; know that here you have people who can support and commiserate with you if you ever need to vent or ask for advice!

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

Hey @Bee So nice to have you back! 

I'm so sorry you went through this. Work stuff can be brutal.

 

I'm a firm believer in the Ockham's' Razor concept - otherwise known as 'if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it's probably a duck.'

So, maybe there's no connection between what happened and you telling them about your MH stuff but it's hard to get past the timing of it all. I definitely recommend getting a Fair Work representative look at it for you. Or a Union rep. 

 

Had they given you any warnings prior to that?

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

Hey @Bee, glad you posted about this, and you're 100% right: part of being a Builder (or a member of the community in any capacity) is being able to reach out to the community and accept the support we can offer.

 

It totally sucks that your work did that to you! Is there any possibility of you returning to your first job, the one you quit in order to do this new one? 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

Hi @scared01 They gave reasons why but some of them were bogus and some were legit. Basically, it boils down to a lack of communication from them to me and them not being patient enough to sort it out.

I think that when they had to recruit another person they found better applicants than what I was and they saw it as an opportunity to maybe change staff again. I don't know for certain, but it all happened around the same time....

 

@Bree-RO I've looked into fair work and because it was a small business I needed to be employed for longer than 12 months to claim fair work. They dismissed me on the bounds of the end of the 3-month trial and "lack of communication". But I was communicating everything I needed about the business. I just wasn't bringing my personal life into work.
I had to change case workers with the job agency for this job, but I've returned to my previous one as I'm more comfortable with her approach to work and job search. But yes they have been helpful in the whole process for me.

 

Thank you so much @DirtWitch (Nice username BTW!) I have had people validate how I feel but it doesn't seem like I'm through it yet. I really don't know how to explain it properly.


@Ngaio-RO Thank you. I feel bad because I wanted to be more involved than what I have been :/
OMG it has a name! I'm going to write this on a sticky note and put it on my whiteboard!
I have had 1 other person say that maybe there is no connection, but legitimately things changed after I disclosed my MH. It was slight at first, like glances or looks when I tried to get words out and stumbled over them. I noticed and that increased the anxiety. Then with the other lady leaving the stress increased tenfold which increased my anxiety which meant I made more mistakes. And all I got was scolded for them, even tiny things I was double checking because I wasn't feeling confident about, I was told to do them and stop double checking with management. I wasn't given any warnings prior to the dismissal. They never told me they were unhappy. Yet they told the job agency about the issues they were having and didn't tell me. And because they told the job agency they told me they never said anything to me.

 

@letitgo I remembered that while driving home and I head the RO add. I decided then I needed to come back.
Honestly, I don't want to. I wasn't happy at my first job. I wasn't happy with the work environment. Also, I struggled a LOT with pain in my foot because of that job. And now that I've managed the pain and the pain has decreased to be able to live, I'm reluctant to go back to such a physically demanding job.

 

 

Thank you to all who have replied. I saw my GP today and she noticed straight off the bat I wasn't feeling myself. I had written stuff down for her and when she read it she said that's what she suspected was how I was feeling because of how I had presented. She has linked me in with some closer support which will hopefully start to help make a difference.

 

I guess really I'm struggling to stay motivated to continue recovery. Has anyone else experienced similar? Do you have any tips? Suggestions? I need things to improve. I cannot stay stuck forever.


____________________________________________
~~ ☆ Be yourself ; Everyone else is already taken ♡ ~~

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

Hey @Bee thanks for the insight.. Sounds like the case worker has been immensely helpful, it must be good to have that support. Have you also got friends and fam to support you emotionally whilst you're looking for work?

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

@Bree-RO I don't feel comfortable talking to my family about any of this. And friends, well let's just say that they're non-existent at this point of time...

____________________________________________
~~ ☆ Be yourself ; Everyone else is already taken ♡ ~~

Re: *Enters Witty subject line*

@Bee it sounds like you're going through a lot and you don't have a lot of opportunities to talk about what's been happening. But I'm glad to hear that you've seen your GP and that she's been supportive, and I hope that talking on this forum has helped too!

 

I can relate a lot to what you're going through with recovery, especially that sense of frustration you feel when you do try hard and things seem to fall apart yet again. During that time I think it's very easy just to say 'why bother' and stop trying entirely. What has helped me in the past is trying to keep perspective in that even for people without mental illnesses, these roadblocks happen. Unfair things happen to everyone and we all have to deal with it--maybe it sounds a little gloomy, but I actually find it helpful knowing that other people have been in the same boat as me and that I'm not the only one struggling.

 

In terms of motivation to keep trying, it can be a bit tricker. I think right now you're on the right track (talking to your GP and caseworker etc.) and as long as you keep taking steps in the same direction regardless of what happens in the end, you *are* improving and getting better. You are helping yourself and putting effort in yourself and that goes a long way. Maybe instead of looking at the problem as a huge task (e.g. I have to get a new job) you can split it up into smaller, more manageable things? Like today I will talk to my caseworker and send out 3 resumes. That day by day sort of planning and living can be helpful.

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