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Feeling depressed and guilty

I feel guilty for all the times I self-harmed, and I can't guarantee I will never do it again. It feels ungrateful. I also feel guilty for the times when I spent more money than I should have. There are people out there who would kill to be as well off as me. I know it's been rough on me, but I feel as though I ought to be better. I try to be grateful for what I have, then guilt overtakes me.

I think I'm selfish because I feel as though I bring people down by talking about how I feel. I don't want to fight this on my own.

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

Hey @Creativegirl12 

 

In the words of my psychologist, "That's your depression talking, not you."

 

I know that I feel like I annoy people when I talk about my depression. It's a normal response. Have you tried keeping a diary instead? Have you thought about participating in a few of the amazing threads on here? Such as

 

I know, for me, focusing on the positives in my life, it tends to keep those negative feelings at bay. 

 

You're in recovery, don't go hating on yourself every time you have a slip up. Perhaps everytime you feel like self harming, you can turn your attention to the above threads, or maybe you can get out and go for a walk. There are tonnes of stuff you can do instead. You will beat this! Just have faith in yourself. I have faith in you.

 

In the meantime, if ever you feel like you need to talk, don't forget about the amazing services out there that are here to help, such as, kids helpline, lifeline and headspace, plus many more!

 

Take care!

 

stonepixie


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

Also, instead of self-harming, do as your username suggests and get creative! Smiley Happy

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

Hey @Creativegirl12 

Sorry to hear you have been feeling this way lately.

It sounds like you have been comparing yourself to how you actually feel and how you should feel.

Im sure you are not bringing people down

 

Have you tried using some mindfulness skilss?

 http://au.reachout.com/how-to-be-more-mindful 

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

Hey @Creativegirl12 

 

I'm so sorry to hear that things are really tough for you at the moment. It can be hard to get the support you need when you feel as though you're being a bother to those you would normally look to get support from.

I hope you get some relief when you read through the posts here and the links provided.There's some awesome advice about trying to find other things to funnel your energies into, as well as some ideas about self caring.

This is a good one too, it's a story about a girl who find ways to stop self harming. I hope you like it.

 

Let us know how you go. Smiley Happy

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

@NigioC its an interesting story.

It does help to talk to someone. Sometimes I feel too scared to talk, but it does help in the long run. I just need to find something else to do when I feel like hurting myself.

Today, this morning I had mocha, I get this awesome feeling instantly, I'm really sensitive to the effects of caffeine. Then I was like I need more, I couldn't handle myself, I was like in my lecture wanting more. I just had a cup of coffee just now. I don't know why the switch of needing caffeine just turned on. It gives me an instant relief, but I can't take it all day long, it going to drive my crazy. I'm scared I'm starting to sound like a drug addict. I'm stuck in another cycle. I know I'm human, but I've been getting into unhealthy cycles lately. Before self harming and shopping. Now I feel as though I need caffeine too survive. I get so desperate.

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

Positives do really help. I think I have to limit my caffeine intake, and reward myself for it.

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

What always strikes me about your posts @Creativegirl12 is that you can recognise your own patterns of behaviour. You know when you're caught in an unhealthy cycle (shopping, caffeine, etc) and you use the techniques that helped you overcome self harm (rewards, distractions, relaxation) to propel yourself away from it. It's really awesome that you can do that, even when it's difficult, so you should be proud of yourself because even if you do have a slip, you have learned so much already!

 

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

I know now that too much caffeine contributes to migraines (according to my body), even two cups of coffee is too much. I guess I can't really self-medicate with anything, and instant relief doesn't even last. Can't consume it all day long without getting sick.

I know running away from emotions isn't the right solution, but I get desperate, I want something to take it away. It hurts so bad, even more than before.

Re: Feeling depressed and guilty

Caffeine is a pretty common trigger for migraines. I know a girl who can't even eat chocolate because it will give her a migraine. I don't even want to imagine living without chocolate! If you enjoy the taste you could try decaf, but if it's just something to take your focus off your emotions there is bigger stuff at play.

Talking it out is a good way to relieve some of that emotional burden. Whether it's here on Reach Out, on the phone with Kids Helpline, with your psych or with a trusted friend or family member, just talking to someone can make it less painful. Are you feeling at risk of self harm right now?