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I feel terrible about my own identity.

Hi I'm BunnyWalks .

I'm a malay- Muslim from Malaysia. I've been an international student for a while now.

I've had difficulty in putting myself out there.

It's been hard making friends in Australia hence I feel isolated with the problems I've faced.

Last year I fell into depression about my islamic identity because that's how I've been raised formally. Personally I'm not too sure what my beliefs are at the moment. I feel like it is the source of problems such as my parent fighting , me being relatable, afraid that people might distance themselves from me and the list goes on.

I've been handed a flyer by the reclaim Australia movement about the band on Muslim immigration which left me rather uneasy. So I feel very threaten in this society. I'm not religious my self but I cant seem to shrug my self off the experience that connected to my identity such as bullying.

Right now im just looking for an ear . So anyone interested reply this thread ?
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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

I felt depressed to the point of self harm and this made it difficulty for me to perform my duties in university.
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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

Hi @BunnyWalks... Welcome to ReachOut! Thanks for sharing your experiences- It's really courageous of you. Do go over to our "Hang out" forums and connect/get to know the community here... Try this link:

http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Hanging-out/Introduce-Yourself-Here-February-2017/m-p/224068#U22406...

 

It makes sense why that flyer would have bought up a lot of emotions for you. It can be very overwhelming and scary. It would be great for you to check out what type of groups and clubs your university has. There might be a group there you would like to join to meet people and make friends? There may even be an Islamic society, if that makes you feel comfortable to start with.

 

Have you been thinking about self harming tonight? Please call Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 or

Kids helpline on 1800 55 1800 for some support.

 

Glad to have you here Smiley Happy Smiley Happy Smiley Happy

 

-Lina R/O 

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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

Hi @BunnyWalks I can imagine that it must have been very upsetting to have been handed that flyer.

I hope you're doing okay at the moment.

Have you joined any clubs at university? That could be a way of meeting new people Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //
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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

@BunnyWalks I feel ashamed that we live in a country where flyers like that exist and I am so sorry that you feel like people might distance themselves from you because of your identity Smiley Sad Making friends at uni is definitely really hard - have you thought about joining any clubs or anything?

Also - although it can be confusing and uncomfortable - I think it is ok to be unsure about what you believe in Smiley Happy I think going to uni is a time where most of us question so many things. Have you thought about getting help from a psychologist to help you with your feelings of depression and wanting to SH?
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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

Hi @TOM-RO,

You are so kind offering me options. ATM I just want to disassociate myself from Islam for now. I just to be recognized as me @BunnyWalks the person.

I've took up surfing and I made a very special friend from it.
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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

Hey @BunnyWalks just wanted to jump in and say hi Smiley Happy

 

Also check out this thread about surfing if you'd like to chat about it Smiley Happy

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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

Hi @May_

i regret replying you this late. i owe you this reply.

Well i was looking for compassion in this country but its such a generous gesture it is on the giver not the asker to share it. it doesn't feel good to be a matter political and moral subject in this country. i cant handle intense question on these social issues personally.

im part of surfing and life saving right now but havent turned up for ages. i want to socialize in an environment where it isnt goal driven.

i had seen CAT team in the nearby hospital in my suburb. i saw a counsellor about my self harm
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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

hi @letitgo ,

its hard to be friends rather than team members when the evironment at uni is so dreadfully goal driven.
Rapport isnt natural. it lacks a bond.

around alcohol people are more socialble but i prefer to meet people in the day time so i dont come off as shady.
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Re: I feel terrible about my own identity.

Hey @BunnyWalks thanks for popping online again Smiley Happy Do you enjoy surfing?

How did things go with the counsellor you saw?