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It feels like everyone is leaving me (Part 3!)
I had to make a new thread it was too confusing to find the most recent posts after the update :'( and my old thread was a bit of a mess. This is a thread continuing on from parts 1&2 😛 and usually includes me venting about uni, pain, attachment issues, heavy thoughts, and ocd thoughts. And sometimes issues around family or friends. And for some reason sometimes we talk about sloths. Essentially it's one of those threads that we aren't technically encouraged to make because they go on and on and on but I find them helpful because we get to see where we've come from
[Also... I'll generally put a TW if I say anything that's potentially triggering]
Responding to @Taylor-RO from my old thread
Yeah, it is frustrating but more just makes me hopeless 😞 Catching up on uni did not go well, I have an essay due next week that I haven't started 😞 Thanks for the positive vibes 😛
I'm sorry you were feeling teary when you were writing 😢 Do you want to talk about it? Actually it sounds like you want to avoid it lol but we're here if you do want to talk about it ❤️ Lol a boundary award 😆 What would the award look like? Have you ever won any awards? I remember at my primary school we had like a 'most improved' award/trophy for co-curricular sports stuff and I got that sometimes LMAO all the other kids would give me the evil eye I guess cause I wasn't really sporty or something idk. "Most improved" sounds so mean though like I must have been terrible at the beggining 🤣
Um anyway I just went on a tangent
4am is my new normal lol 😅 It comes from literally not doing anything during the day. I've really let myself go during this lockdown. I went for a walk just then though and it's my first time out this week so yay 😄
I know I've been a shit friend but just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and am sorry. I hope you're doing okay 💙
Hey @MB95 thanks for checking in- you don't have to apologise you haven't been a shit friend. I'm going okay my pain is a bit better but I've been feeling sick again today 🙃 and last night I was panicking about literally nothing lmao
Sounds like your body is not being very nice to you. I'm sorry to hear it. Do you want to talk about what you were panicking about?
I feel like it's all in my head and I'm going crazy lol 😬 Hm I don't know if I can talk about it. Like it's a few tiny things that I'm just freaking out about like it's literally nothing but my brain blows things way out of proportion. I feel like I'll be sick if I talk about it and it's literally nothing maybe it's that I'm feeling sick in general lol
Hi @Lost_Space_Explorer5 I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling well tonight. I can definitely relate when you say your brain blows things out of proportion. I am an overthinker, and tend to freak out about little things. Please know that we're all here for you and I hope you feel better soon 💜
HOLD UP! What is it that you say to me when I say it's all in my head? Hmm.. something about my feelings being valid and shit? Sorry I had too 😂 But seriously, whether it is something tiny or something huge it is clearly upsetting you and that is okay. Also sometimes a few tiny things can equate to being one big thing too so there is no need to try and downplay it and make yourself feel like it's nothing. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I'm not going to push you to talk about it but I also want you to know I'm here to listen if you want too and am in no way ignoring your pain. I am here if you want to talk any of it out but also trying my absolute hardest here to do the whole boundary bullshit and respect that you might not want too. Anyway let's not mention that stupid B word tonight cause I hate it and it makes me so much worse which we both know 😂😂😂 I just want to make sure you know I am here if you do decide you want to talk it out 💙
Do you have anything planned for the weekend?
How many times @MB95 don't throw that shit back at me 🤣 (just kidding)! No but it's literally not even anything bad well idk it's more worrying about what could happen but I'm not going there. And no I don't have anything planned 😞 Maybe getting out of the house
You totally asked for it! 😂
You say dumb shit on my thread and I say dumb shit on yours! Lol But like its not always dumb shit. You know what I mean yeah? Sorry I'm a bit meh atm and struggling to keep the eyelids open!!
We won't go there now then but I am always here if you decide you want to revisit it okay. Don't forget it 💙
Getting out of the house sounds like a great start! You're in lockdown hey? I truly feel for you. I mean I feel like my life is generally in lock down but having the choice to leave the house taken away from me just freaks me out so I really do feel for you. Are there any cool things you've taught yourself during lockdown or used to keep yourself occupied?
I'm really sorry if I don't reply tonight. I'm exhausted and slept through all my alarms today so really should be trhing to get to sleep.. 🙃 I have a feeling tomorrow is gonna be hell.
Just checking in to see how your day went and if you managed to get some sleep?
Also, I am not up for leaving the house tonight so am now free if you wanna watch Madagascar 3? All good if not though!!
@MB95 My day was okay I still haven't left the house 😞 I did some baking though! It was such a mess lol but at least it was something to do. I would love to watch madagascar 3 tonight! 😄
Honestly, I don't blame you. If I didn't have placement I highly doubt I'd have left my bed today let alone the house! That's awesome you did some baking, and kinda freaky cause I was literally just thinking that maybe I should do some baking on the weekend. Idk, I asked my supervisor if she had any plans for the weekend and she told me and then I wasn't really expecting her to ask me back cause people usually don't and it completely threw me and I realised how sad my life is. So I was literally just thinking maybe I could do some baking so if she asks me if I did anything I can at least tell her that rather than that I laid in bed all weekend and didn't move 🤦♀️😂 Anyway sorry.. that's my tangent! What did you bake?! Any suggestions for what I should bake? It also probs won't happen cause it means I have to get stuff from the shops so unless I have all the stuff here it won't go ahead. I can't really go shopping atm and weekends are so much worse so defs not gonna be happening if I don't have the ingredients but we shall see 🙃 Sorry I'm rambling just kinda feeling like I need a chat right now. Sorry! Lets do it!! Cause you already watched number 2 hey? I can't actually remember it right now.. might have to check out your commentary before I watch number 3 lol
Awh don't worry about your weekend not being eventful, if your life is sad so is mine lol 😂 (😭). It sounds like you've had a pretty exhausting week so there's nothing wrong with taking some time to rest and relax! I baked cinamon scrolls from a recipe I found on smiling mind 🤣 It was really simple and you only need basic ingredients do you want me to link it to you? 😅 I didn't do any of the mindfulness stuff lol but I was intrigued as to how scrolls are made 🤔
I did watch number 2 but yes do check out my commentary! 🙂
Cinnamon scrolls?! Umm.. YUMMM!!! Yes please!!! 😍 I didn't realise they had recipes on Smiling Mind? Although I also haven't used the app in like FOREVER! That's pretty cool though. Did you make them on your own or with your family? Were they tasty? I bet they were delicious! I have a bit of a weakness for cinnamon lol Just read the next part.. I start replying as I read sorry lol So do they like try make you bake and be mindful of what you're doing or something at the same time? I doubt I'd be down for the mindfulness myself cause it makes me feel stupid but I can see how it would help some people and its a pretty great idea really.
I'm glad we can share our sad lives together 😂😂😂 I'm gonna head over and check out the commentary now! Keeeeeeen! I need a good laugh right now and totally know reading it is gonna give it to me lol
Nor did I lol, I think it was just the one off and it was on their website lol. I made them on my own they turned out okay one tray ended up a little dry but they were good! Yeah lol it was like be aware of stirring the flour and I was like okay...
Nice! My mouth is literally watering thinking about cinnamon scrolls 😂 Were you aware of the flour? Lol
Hahaha 😂 Love the humour! Just picturing a kitchen covered in flour and some calm soothed person telling you to appreciate and connect with the flour while you have this big mess to clean up 😂😂😂 Sorry. I know meditation works for some people but sometimes it just makes me laugh. Like I'm not entirely against it and have used it a few times to try calm myself down to sleep and stuff so like I know it can work but some of them just crafk me up and I feel like one telling me to notice the flour while I'm baking would just have me in fits. I mean laughter is the best medicine right? Maybe that's their underlying ultermatium? To either get you through the meditation or get you through the laughter? 😂
Hi @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ☺️
Sorry to hear you aren'f feeling very well right now.
@MB95 is right about your feelings being valid! It is okay to be feeling whatever you may be feeling right now. Whether its because of something big or small, it doesn't really matter. Just do try and take care of yourself.
Feel better soon and we are all here for you 💜
I'm really sorry I've been such a shit friend. I hope you are doing okay. How was your day today? Has the pain reduced at all? I'm thinking of you and am really sorry 💙
Thanks guys ❤️ Sorry I haven't been around lately I haven't felt very talkative
Today hasn't been good my pain is bad again so I spent most of the day sleeping 😞
Thanks for the update @Lost_Space_Explorer5 .I'm sorry to hear that the pain is bad and that you haven't felt like talking 🙁 I hope that things improve for you sooner rather than later and I'm thinking of you.