cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

hi anyone,

 

i am so very confused, i am in a dv relationship with a woman for the past 4 years and the last year she has gone to jail on and off not directly related to dv but I don't know why I don't want to leave her...what is wrong with me..

 

I've lost it all money things and mostly I could not care if I was here anymore just seems that I have no choices or options...I have no money, live in public housing, no friends no family all as a result of DV.  

Police have been awful to me treated me like a criminal....support services are just not what I feel I need because I am still on my own have and still do think about suicide as a better solution...

 

I am scared of everything so much so I am completely numb and shut down..

 

Anyone please ....

Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

Hey @overitnow

 

Welcome to ReachOut.com. 

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling alone and unsafe at the moment, in regards to your relationship with this woman. Here on R.O, we're here to listen and to support you through these tough times. You've said that support services are not what you need right now and that you think that suicide may be a better solution. What can we do to help you right now? 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent
Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

hi, I honestly feel so lost unsure about everything, everyone...I have never felt like this in my entire life

 

I just don't know what to do I live on my own have nobody to talk to and my head is messed up...and on top of that she still can call me from jail I dont get it different rules for different people..

 

i hate existing I am not worth it...so fed up so tired of the fight to matter..

Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

@overitnow you might not believe me right now, but your life matters and you can beat this, things will get better. You matter ❤️
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

i thank you for your kind words ....i can not see the light i have tried so many times...so much abuse takes irs toll...feels pointless...and sooooo hopeless

Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

@overitnow The legal process for DV is a strange one, that's for sure. I can't imagine what it's like to go through it and feel like this. You may feel that you're not worth it and that you've got no one to talk to. But you most definitely have us and the forums who are here for you. Have you spoken to QLife about what's been going on? 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent
Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

hi

 

there is so much stuff that has happened to my life for 4 years countless AVO's did nothing to protect me or give me an opportunity to leave while I still had my own thoughts and feelings NOW I can't feel anything...I feel like she is all I have so that is my only option..

 

all police want is convictions they don't care about me...they humiliate and intimidate me into things I don't want....puts me at risk when she comes home I deal with that and that is just one thing...

 

i feel i dont deserve any help because I haven't left her and as I have been told you deserve what you get and my mum said why didn't you just leave when it started??? the million dollar question right??

 

It is simple, slowly you get erased and the empty vessel is all that is present anymore...that is why you don't leave..

Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

Leaving a partner who has committed DV against you is an intense and difficult decision to make. To have others pressure you into making a decision, to suddenly leave or to shame you for it, is simply not on.

You most definitely deserve help. Don't ever think otherwise or forget that.

It seems that you've gone through some legal avenues before to ensure your personal safety. What options or services have you tried accessing in the past - for legal or emotional support?
___________________________________________________
Stay excellent
Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

Hi @overitnow, thank you for sharing your story with us here on ReachOut. Sadly abusive relationships are very difficult to leave but your strength in talking about this is a very positive step towards change.

 

Please know this is not your fault. No one ever 'deserves' to be treated this way. Please also know that you do deserve help and you do have options available to you. I suggest learning about abusive relationships to understand what you're going through and what steps you can take next.

 

When you said you 'think about suicide as a better solution' and 'i hate existing I am not worth it' it really concerns me. If you are thinking about committing suicide please contact the Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467. They're available 24/7. As awful as you are feeling right now, remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Highlighted

Re: Lesbian Domestic Violence ---- Why can't I leave her

@overitnow you can't always see the light, but if you keep pressing forward, you'll find yourself in that better place. You are always worth it, even if you don't think it. There are people out there who are ready and waiting to help you, like RO forums. DV relationships can be so complex, it can be difficult for people in them to leave when they get bad. It is horrible that people have said you deserve what you get, nobody deserves anything like that to happen.

Have you checked out QLife or any of the other links? Do you find that they have helped?

Keep us updated.