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Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@WheresMySquishy it's not so much struggling to breathe, it's that I literally stop breathing for a minute or two. I can't even cough when that happens, just kinda.. wriggle around unhappily. 

I probably look like a fish that's been left on land.

I do definitely get freeze fear responses, but I can at least take shallow breaths during them.

I'm personally more like a sloth than a grizzly bear 

I assume the OT escaped you? Smiley Tongue

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@WheresMySquishy thank you..


And I actually do lie about my health - I pretend that things are better than they are because if I'm honest about it my parents get annoyed by the idea of more appointments... Smiley Indifferent

They always assume that I have a low pain tolerance as well. Mine is actually above average because I've had some really painful experiences, but they seem to assume that I'm groaning in pain for... attention?


I personally have this thing that if someone would only be willing to look after a certain type of child, they should probably not be playing "baby lottery" where they have the choice.. if they get the "wrong" kid it's just going to make everyone involved miserable.

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@Tiny_leaf  That sounds so uncomfortable and scary.

I guess I'm a bit like a sloth too because I sleep a lot. Smiley Tongue

I think she assumed that I was out volunteering. Actually, I was too tired to go and couldn't go back to sleep after she came so early (it was so noisy), so I just stayed in my room to avoid her. Thankfully, she didn't come in. Smiley Wink

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@WheresMySquishy after much research I have found that sloths are in fact tiny, sleepy humans wearing fluffy coats. Smiley Tongue

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I hope you get some sleep-in time tomorrow! 

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@Tiny_leaf  That kind of reminds me of my dad. If we say that there is something wrong with our health, he acts as if we are exaggerating. So most of the time, we just say we're good. Though when he's sick or in pain, it's like the end of the world and he expects everyone to wait on him. Smiley Indifferent
Unfortunately for the rest of us, my sister has learned that if she screams at the top of her lungs, it makes him take her pain more seriously.
I actually get anxious about telling doctors that a treatment hasn't worked because I don't want to feel as if I am disappointing anyone. My eye doctor said to me on Wednesday, 'I believe you when you say that your symptoms are still there because your eyes look pretty much the same as they were in the last appointment'. My mum said she was going to say, 'Well WheresMySquishy doesn't lie about stuff like that' but bit her tongue.

I know a lot of parents who have special needs kids and they love them and wouldn't change them, so it annoys me when other parents resent their children. I think that a lot of parents are really resenting their life and are misdirecting their anger towards their children.

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@WheresMySquishy oof.... hypocrisy is "fun" to deal with...

My brother can be a bit like that.. once I was on the couch groaning in pain and my brother asked me to get him a snack because "his legs were tired". I was 150% not thrilled but couldn't be bothered dealing with his post-refusal aggression.

Huh.. maybe I should try that with my gp...... (only half joking honestly).

Do you have access to ear plugs....?


I get that anxiety as well...

But only because my old CM actually repeatedly blamed me for the treatment not working, it wasn't an issue before..

I don't think my parents would change me, but not because they like how I am.

They wouldn't change me because that sounds like an ugly idea that'd make them seem like bad people; they'd still criticize my differences and make it sound like I should be grateful that they hadn't changed me already....

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@Tiny_leaf   That must have been so annoying!
I have some earplugs but I usually put my headphones in and listen to music to block out the screaming. Sometimes we close the door and leave the room when she screams and come back when she's calmer if it's possible. Luckily, she's only been screaming lately when she's been doing some of her exercises.

The CM shouldn't have blamed you for the treatment not working. Most people want treatment to work unless they get benefits out of playing the 'sick role'. I really hate it when professionals blame their patients or clients or make assumptions about them.
If I were you, I would have actually wanted the treatment to work so that I could stop seeing the CM.

I see. Smiley Sad Your parents sound pretty frustrating to deal with...

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

Hey @Tiny_leaf.
That's not good.

I'm also sore and tired, but only because of the musical, which is FINALLY over.
I'm excited to dye my hair this afternoon, but how are you doing today?

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@WheresMySquishy that's good at least!


And definitely.

Plus, playing the "sick role" would also result in the same social isolation, putting up with irritating doctors, demands from family and random strangers to try yoga/ kale, condescending remarks and resentment as real sick people. I seriously doubt that anyone would do that for six moniths just to get a small bit of sympathy from people who are nicer than most people.

Idk, I just don't think that happens often enough that it should be one of the first possibilities that a doctor would look into, and yet it happens so much.. Smiley Frustrated


I'm spread-sheeting my symptoms atm though for headspace. It's weird, because I've had some of them for so long that I almost forget that they aren't "normal"...

Re: New episode of illness (tw)

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx yeah... it wasn't fun.

Have you had the chance to dye your hair yet?? Do you like it?