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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Depot injections are mostly cons tbh... but I will keep taking it for now I mean I guess this one must be helping in some way cause I finally managed to clean my room and have actually been able to do some things so who knows it still scares me though. 

 

@Tiny_leaf  I will ask but idk it isn’t physically difficult to take just like mentally but I will try and talk to the psychologist about it and see. 

 

Yeah the course is covering the period from the First World War to the end of the second and should cover people like Stalin and Hitler and another dictator in Spain so it should be interesting. 

 

 

I am having a weird day today and still feeling unsettled but trying to just not focus on anything too much and just letting things be for now. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hehe yup mostly cons @Eden1717 Smiley Tongue (SOME pros though right?) Ooh that's awesome, you cleaned your room! Whenever I clean my room it goes back to being a dump like 2 days later I need help.. That sounds like a good strategy with not focusing on the unsettling things Smiley Happy
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  The only pro is not having to remember to take it everyday. Yeah idk how long my room will stay clean but at least for now it is done. 

 

I am having a lot of thoughts about things. Wow that sounded a lot less vague in my head anyway, I keep thinking that i want to be more open about things with my family like I don’t want to feel like I am hiding things except I don’t really think they would want to know certain things or want to hear it but at the same time I feel weird like I am carrying around this huge secret and it is like uncomfortable. I want to be able to talk openly at home and in general but I also know that no one understands and the few times I have tried to tell my family these sorts of things it has not gone so well or they have not understood. I also feel this way around some of my friends who know nothing about my mental health but at least that is less intense because I don’t live with them. I don’t know I just feel very weird about this. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717 It could definitely be a lot less of a burden on you if you were more open about things with your family. Perhaps you could write it down and give it to them? I know sometimes families can not understand these sorts of things and that can feel really isolating and invalidating Smiley Sad What is it you want to open up more about, if that's okay to ask? It would be good if your family was more understanding of things, because they might be able to notice when things aren't okay, detect early warning signs, and better support you overall. What do you think?

My family and I have a traffic light system where I can tell them if I'm not doing so great using a colour. Only, I'm a bloody liar and never tell them what's going on anyway, so the whole thing becomes a bit useless. Do you think you might find something like this helpful or would you be like me with it? Hehe

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I used to have a numbers system but having for a while and idk I just don’t want to have to fell like I am hiding things while I am at home except that I already know they prefer it that way, I don’t think a note would go down well I think the problem is them not wanting to know like even when I have tried to tell my mum about what the diagnosis is she will just say she doesn’t know what that means but puts no effort into finding out and will just pretend like I never said it. Idk it is hard to explain. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hello @Eden1717, I am sorry to hear that your mum has not been putting any effort in to learn about your diagnosis. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you when your mum is not being supportive. I hope that your mum will be more supportive as she becomes more aware of your diagnosis. Hopefully you have some other family members that have been supporting you Heart.
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Ugh I hate it when parents just don't want to understand @Eden1717 Smiley Sad I'm sorry they won't even put in the effort.. Do you have other friends and family you can lean on?
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 @Sophia-RO  None of my family really tries to understand, I don’t know if they think I don’t want them to know or if they just can’t be bothered. But it is hard because I get too nervous to ever explain how I am feeling and sometimes I would like to just have a person who I can tell everything to but I just don’t really have that in my family. I have a few friends I can tell most things too but idk it is kind of different. Idk it is complicated I just hate feeling like I have to hide such huge things from people I live with. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Awh Smiley Sad @Eden1717, that sounds really tough.. you're always free to talk about things on here but I understand that's not the same as having a supportive family... My family doesn't really understand my problems either so I just have my one friend I talk to, but even then, I feel a bit distant. It's quite isolating, hey? Smiley Sad Do you feel any of your professional supports understand you? From what you've said about your psychologist and psychiatrist, I hear you haven't quite clicked with them, is that right? It must feel exhausting to have to hide things from everyone and not be supported in your own home..
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I don’t mind the psychiatrist but it is complicated like half the reason I had issues with them was that I thought they were trying to kill me so like idk when I am not scared of them it is usually ok. Kind of same with the psychologist. Except the psychologist is new ish so mostly it is just that I still need more time to let them get to know me. But I saw the psychologist today and she kept saying that I seemed a lot better and that I was really not ok before but idk she wants me to keep taking the meds as well and she also said I might have to take meds forever it seems that is what thinks. Idk she said I still had some “residual psychotic symptoms” but that she is hoping with more time on meds that will clear up. 

 

I am sorry your family doesn’t understand either it is quite isolating I just feel like I can never fully talk with people and it is exhausting. Idk what I even want to say but I just want to not feel so disconnected and like I am in another world.