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Re: Loneliness

Does anyone ever just have one of those days where you feel lonely? I only have one friend (only one and we talk pretty regularly, and we'll be meeting up next Friday) who lives in the same city as me (I have another friend who lives interstate but it's kind of hard to catch up with hr considering she lives in another state). But meeting people in general is difficult for me. It's not so much that I feel like I can't get out of bed or anything I just feel disconnected.

 

I have been really busy with university so I haven't had much opportunity to socialise as much, especially when I have a lot of major and final assessments to do etc. I am going to start playing hockey next semester to get more socialised, and try any social events. There are some nice people at the place I volunteer at, so I will try and talk to them. 

 

I know what I need to do, but it's just the thought of sitting through being depressed, and waiting for it to pass is exhausting. 

Re: Loneliness

Hey @keezeik. I can definitely empathise with the feeling of being lonely. Uni can be such a hard place to meet people, it often seems like everyone has their own group of friends and I just exist on the outside.

 

It's great to hear that you have one really strong friendship, and that you two are planning to meet up soon. One good friend is more valuable than a million average friends. With that being said, I think playing a team sport like hockey next semester will be a fantastic way to meet people, so way to go on putting yourself out there! 

 

Do you have a job at present? I found work was a great way to meet people my age that were also at uni. 

 

I'm so sorry you're feeling depressed right now, I am just coming out of that headspace myself after many months of sitting in the dark and I can agree that it is completely exhausting. But, please know that you are strong enough to put up with the exhausting days, the dark days, the I-want-to-give-up days. You are worth the fight, and I'm always here for a chat if things get hard. By the sounds of things, you're taking some really positive steps Smiley Very Happy 

Re: Loneliness

Hey @keezeik 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with loneliness Smiley Sad but know that you are not alone! The feeling of loneliness is experienced by many, so much so that a new support line (called Friendsline) has been developed to try and help this issue. It might be worth giving them Friendsline call on those days when you're feeling lonely. They only operate on certain days and at certain times though, so calling KHL might also be a good option. Is this something you'd consider? 

 

I really like that you've reached out to talk about this. I also really like that you know what you need to do to feel less lonely. Of course it can be an exhausting process, but it'll be worth it. Trying to talk to the nice people who you volunteer with sounds like a fantastic idea. You mentioned you study - is there anyone at university who seems friendly? Marking friends at university might be an idea too Smiley Very Happy. Of course, you can always make a thread on ReachOut when you're feeling a bit down. Many of our users are very supportive to each other and I see the way friendships can develop here, even over the forums. 

 

You mentioned you have a few friends. What about family? Or pets? 

 

 

Re: Loneliness

I'll make sure to check them out - it's a bit more difficult than that, I haven't really found anyone. thank you for your help

Re: Loneliness

Hey @keezeik, I just wanted to check in. How have things been going for you lately? 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Loneliness

I'm ok, there are some days where I feel more lonely than others. But I am looking to improve on some certain things to make it better...

Re: Loneliness

Hi @keezeik! I think it's normal to have good days and bad days regarding loneliness. I'm glad you want to take some more steps to lessen it. We can always find new ways to reach out. Smiley Happy

I was wondering if your uni had any student groups. That could be another way to make friends. Lots of research has shown that being a part of supportive groups can be very helpful.

Re: Loneliness

Hey @keezeik, I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I can definitely identify with feeling lonely sometimes, it's not a fun feeling. I would agree with what @WheresMySquishy has already said. I also think you should give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out on the forums. Speaking to someone, whether it's online or in person, when you're feeling alone is a great step. On the days that you feel less lonely, are there certain things you do that make you feel that way? 

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Loneliness

Thank you Smiley Happy I've actually applied for NDIS because I have various other disabilities, which in turn have affected my socialising, and I was wondering if anyone has any tips on how you can meet new people and such? Outside of uni though - like how did what were your experiences in meeting new people etc

Re: Loneliness

Hey @keezeik
I think it's great that you applied for the NDIS, but I'm sorry to hear it's affecting your social life at the moment. Is it just because you're not around people your own age as much? Or another reason? Knowing a bit more might be able to help me give tips that are helpful for you.

 

Here are a few tips that work for me:

1. Be willing to say yes to opportunities to meet new people. It's really good to respect and acknowledge your own boundaries, but sometimes we do need to push ourselves a little bit because putting ourselves out there can feel kind of scary or vulnerable sometimes. 

 

2. It's easy to feel like we're annoying others or being a burden. In reality, most people tend to feel shy or uncomfortable meeting new people. They might even be too shy to actually reach out and make the first move towards becoming friends. If you're chatting to someone who you think is cool about a shared interest, you could say "Maybe we could do X together sometime?". Gauge how the person responds to that, exchange details, set a date if that seems like the right thing to do. If they seem a bit apprehensive, just chalk it up to experience. You had the courage to make the first move, so good on you! This could be something you might like to try at one of your volunteer placements, as you said you had met some nice people there. 

 

3. How do you socialise? Do you prefer big groups of people, or having one on one convos with people? Thinking about what you want out of a friendship and what kind of friend you want to be can be super helpful. Recognising that you can socialise with others in a way that works for you, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to be social is super freeing. This article totally summarizes my thoughts https://au.reachout.com/articles/why-its-okay-not-to-have-a-huge-friendship-group

 

What kind of things are you into? Do you have any hobbies? I know you said you're volunteering and looking to start Hockey soon. You seem like a lovely, intelligent and insightful person. I'm hoping things turn around for you soon because you deserve to feel great!

 

 

 

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down