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Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Morning @mspaceK,

 

I'm sorry you had a bad dream last night <3 

 

I think it's very understandable though that you are having a slow morning. Do you have bread? This will sounds silly but sometimes when I feel like I can't be bothered and I'm apathetic I like to just eat basic toast.

Have you come up with any plans for between now and your session today? If you feel like chatting I am currently procrastinating a lot of uni work (oops)

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Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hi @mspaceK 

 
I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. You're not pathetic for crying, you are feeling how you're feeling and that is okay. No one can be perfectly on top of life all the time, especially when you're going through such a tough time with your family and with your own mental health.
 
It seems like it's very difficult for you to see beyond what you are experiencing right now. I've been through some very bad patches of mental ill health in my life, although I haven't experienced exactly what you're experiencing. I do know from my personal experience that my anxiety and depressive symptoms often cloud my vision completely and make it feel like I'm never going to have another good day, and that I've never had a good day in my life. When I come out of the cloud, I can see that I have had many good days and I start to look forward to things again. There will always be another good day. I promise. This is just what is happening in the now for you, and while it doesn't make what you're feeling less valid, I'm wondering if you might be able to find a way to remind yourself of this?
 
For me, I journal (even something as simple as two sentences) because I can look back at how I was feeling in the past and it gives me some perspective. For other people it might be looking at photos of when you did something you really enjoyed or a creative outlet like music (which I know is a really big thing for you) or painting. Is there something you have done in the past that has helped your remember good times in your life? It could be something really small.  
____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

I'm sorry I didn't get back to you @Tasi . I ended up getting up and having a shower and going to the shops earlier before my therapy session. I spent some time drawing and just walking around. I ttied to eat some hot chips but I couldn't get them down. I managed a drink of tea and some crackers though. I'm making myself some burgers right now so hopefully I'll eat those. 

 

I also had some people check in with me at the therapy group and ask about me and what I'm doing over the next few days and how I'm going which is nice to have. 

 

@MisoBear It is very hard right now to imagine a time where I'm not worried or stressed about things and not feeling overwhelmed and sad. I'm also finding it hard to accept the help because it doesn't feel like anything will change and I don't want to have to keep trying. I made a list of reasons for living and my purpose though and I have a goals board so I can see what I have to look forward to. 

 

I guess watching movies at the cinemas or reading a really good book helps because I've always loved reading and films, as well as my dancing that i like to do. I'm trying and I'm doing the best I can right now. 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hey @mspaceK it's great to hear that you made that list including your purpose, and a goals board - what a brilliant strategy!

What do you have planned for the weekend? I hope you'll be able to do something you enjoy, like dancing or reading a good book Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hi @mspaceK ,

 

It's no worries that you missed me it sounds like you have been utilising some really good coping strategies and keeping busy. 

 

I'm glad that the session helped and some of those you know there reached out. Further I agree with @letitgo in that if you feel up to it that you have something nice for yourself planned this weekend!!

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hi @Tasi @letitgo @MisoBear . I'm spending Saturday with my housemate probably play video games and maybe go to the shops. On Sunday I have work and in the afternoon I'll probably go home and contact my kids helpline counsellor.  

 

Tonight I'm at my boyfriends house and tomorrow we're going to hang out together amd maybe go to the cinemas. I'll try and read my book too. 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hey @mspaceK hope you're having a nice day with your boyfriend Heart 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Thanks @Bre-RO . We went to the movies. I'm really tired now so I'm just having a lay down at his house. Going to go home soon though. 

 

I can't escape this constant anxiety though and I still can barely stomach food put in front of me. 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

Hey @mspaceK  I'm happy to hear you had an outing to the movies. It can be hard to get out of the house when you're feeling so anxious, so I'm glad that you were able to do that. I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble eating..anxiety can make it so hard to have an appetite. When I've been through that I try to make myself a really healthy, vitamin packed smoothie or something so I get some nutrients into my body. It can be really upsetting not being able to eat though so I understand why you'd mention it. Hope you're enjoying a nice rest Heart 

Re: Sadness over relationship with my parents

@Bre-RO My boyfriend talked to me about how things are going to get better and that I just need to let these people help me and give the medication a try. And to just take things one step at a time. So that's what I'm trying to do.