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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS 

 

Hi it's been awhile since I've spoken to you...I'm really sorry to read about the interaction you had with your mum last night. It must be so difficult to navigate the repercussion of things other system mates have done or said. It would also be so hard for you to hear the things your mum said.. can I just clarify what happened? I'm reading this as you told your mum that a system mate was going to try and suicide and that upset your mum and prompted her to leave the house? 

 

I'm here today to chat through this with you because I can see how upsetting this is for you. I want to let you know that we believe you are incredible, resilient people - not terrible at all. 

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] For clarification, one member of our system left the house last night and was going to attempt, but she decided to come home and our mum slept through it all, so she didn't know until I told her this morning. She's been really upset all day and I've been trying to calm her down (our mum, I mean). She left the house because she kept saying she was "at the end of her tether" and because she was so upset.

 

Things have calmed down quite a bit now. She's sitting on the couch at the moment with one of our dogs and watching a show on Netflix. Thank you for saying that.

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hey R @SomeoneNADJS, thanks for clarifying. It sounds like last night was really intense and difficult. How is that system member doing now? Are they safe?

Glad to hear that your Mum has calmed down now. It seems like you’ve spent a bit of quality time with her to help with that Smiley Happy Do you know whether your Mum has a support system?

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] Dysphoria has started getting bad. Most of us have been able to ignore it until a few days ago. I hate this body. I wish I was normal.

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hey @SomeoneNADJS [R], I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling so crap at the moment. It must be so difficult to experience immense hate towards your body. What has been helping you to ignore it all this time?

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Taylor-RO We've just had so much else to worry about that I guess that took most of our attention. But I don't want to have to live ignoring that I and several others live in a body that doesn't feel like us.

 

We haven't seen our gender counsellor person for a long time, and I think we might have to wait a few weeks for an appointment because she might be on holiday and our mum might get subpoenaed to court because of a break-in from across the road last year (the guy was the homeowner's son and he was high on drugs and he kicked the front door down and screamed as far as I know).

 

Anyway, another bit of a problem we had recently. We made a little Discord server for friends of ours to chat to certain individuals from our system, but someone invited that one system that ages ago tried to claim we weren't a real system because of how many of us there were and that we were having "compulsions" to act like other people. They immediately tried to access the list of our system members on the PluralKit bot (luckily someone in here bothered to learn how to use the privacy settings), and I kicked them from that server. They make me and some others quite uncomfortable.

 

We also got onto the staff of a big system server too. We're at the lowest position, but we haven't had much time for that with all of our school work, taking care of our system, etc. We also started a journal for our system that only me and Sp* (she/her) have written in so far.

 

Also been worried about the dysphoria side of things too for the members of our system on the more masculine end of the gender spectrum. I talked to Al^^^^ (he/him) about it and he said continuing our transition was what he thought was best for us all. I also want to chat to Cb^ and Fz* (both use he/him) about it since they also front sometimes. We asked around and people said with the number of people in our system it would be highly impractical to ask every single person whether or not they're comfortable with our transitioning, especially since we started when our system was so much smaller.

 

Edit: Also forgot to say we finally got on T blockers recently and we're having no negative side effects so far.

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

First of all @SomeoneNADJS, congratulations on getting on T blockers! this must be such a relief, and so exciting to be on the Smiley Happy I'm so so excited for you! In regards to transitioning when you have some system members who present more masculinely, it might be a good idea to read some  perspectives of non binary people who have transitioned, as they often speak about what it's like to present in a different gender to the one they transitioned to, which might be helpful for some of the more masc system identities

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[Sw*] It is great for us to be on them. And that’s a really good idea.

 

(Btw I use she/her if I’m ever brought up again here)

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[Bs^] We hit 4400. I'm scared I'll not wake up again for months. There's not enough time for everyone in the rest of our lifetime. I'm scared.

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hi Bs^...that is quite a scary thought isn't it... Smiley Sad is there anything you could do/think to help you feel better about this?