TW Feeling consumed by all these thoughts

@Tiny_leaf I ask peoples for info when it comes to all that kind of stuff. I am not the best at understanding how policies and tax and things like that work. I wish I could help! My tip would be to focus on small chunks at a time. It can be overwhelming! 

@mspaceK thank you!!

And it's so hard trying to figure it out.. I wish it was a bit easier or had less fine print.. 

@Tiny_leaf That sounds awesome. I am sure you can do it. The tax stuff sounds tedious but it will be worth it once you do. 

@mspaceK that's the plan!

I'm going to use a site called Redbubble, I just need to build up a good volume of work and figure out the tax stuff.. 

@Tiny_leaf I have never heard of those but they sound cool. I reckon you could design some pictures and put them on shirts and sell them. Make an instagram account to promote them and sell them. 😄 or mugs or reusuable bags. I know someone who does that! 

Hahahaha @Tiny_leaf I kinda really want to see you do that look! I'm just imagining it because obviously I don't know what you look like. I'm small too - I always get mistaken for being younger than I am. Sometimes quite frustrating. 

I love ALL of them 😄 I am re reading the series and I'm up to book 5. I think my favourite movie is Chamber of Secrets and book is Order if the Phoenix or Half Blood Prince. I really love Neville and Luna and Snape. 

@mspaceK Luna is great 

I think that the first book's my favorite, and the second movie. 

@mspaceK so no family/ extended family/ friends who might be free?

And hopefully I'll be getting some compression gloves  so that my hands hurt less  so that I can draw more  so that I can sell the drawings  so that I can save money up  so that I can get a dog  so that I can train them as a service dog  so that I can do stuff like a functioning human  so that I can get appointments  so that I'm in less pain. *deep breath*

You know the song "There's a hole in my bucket"? My life is basically that song right now I swear.. 

@Tiny_leaf Yes - I know it! Catchy and annoying haha. Damn that is a process that's for sure. I'm really sorry you have to go through that. You must be good at drawing! 

I have my boyfriends parents that I can call if I need to. I'm sure I can find someone to call if I need to if they are busy. Just don't really have anyone like a friend who is available to come to an appointment.  I'm hoping this will work out and simply pass. 

😞 feeling down though. Everything is so exhausting atm. 

@mspaceK I hope it all goes okay.. when will you get word back on the tests?

And I like to think so  

I'm not at a professional artist level but I have sold a few in the past so hopefully it'll all work out....

@mspaceK that sounds horrible...

If seeing a doctor tonight isn't too difficult it might be a good idea. That way you can get the whole treatment and diagnostic process started a bit earlier, and you'll have some extra time for any tests to be processed. 

Also just a reminder that I'll be up for quite a while, so if you need anything feel free to tag me. (probably.. probably until about 5 - 7am your time. I think I go to sleep when people start waking up)

Also if I'm annoying you by asking/ offering please let me know. I'm not always good at judging these things...

:'l I'm crying again @Tiny_leaf . My housemate (sister) just told me to stop being an idiot and to take Panadol and that she's not dealing with my anxiety attack. That what i am experiencing is normal amd everyone gets it. It's from my period. And that because i have been on antibiotics this is normal. 

:'( 

I feel so alone and scared. I know i probably am having an anxiety attack but if you were having severe pain and then pooping out blood...i think you'd be a little concerned too. 😞 

I don't know what to think. I just want this pain to go away. 

My housemate was so frustrated with me like I was "bothering her" and she isn't taking me seriously. 

@mspaceK well f**k that.

•you're not an idiot

•you know your body

•there is really not meant to be blood in your poop. Unless you're mistaken as to where the blood's actually coming from, your period ain't gonna be causing that

•I'm not a doctor. But I'm pretty sure if you get an internal ulcer from antibiotics you still need treatment for it..

I know how it feels not to be taken seriously about health.... it's practically been my life for the past year and it's so unfair...

You deserve the help that you need.

Is there anyone aside from your housemate who could take you to the emergency room/ an after hours doctor?

I just spoke to nurse on call and they told me I can take panadol and to monitor myself overnight @Tiny_leaf . If i faint or throw up then to go to doctors sooner. I'm going first thing in the morning around 8am. Nurse said to go within 12 hours. 

Also my housemate told me that I should "talk to my doctor about my anxiety because I'm getting harder to reason with when I'm having an anxiety attack."

😞 

@I_am_not_Groot 

@mspaceK that's good, especially since that means it's probably not an emergency. 

Honestly she sounds harder to reason with if she thinks all of that's normal. 

Let her know about the fainting thing but otherwise I'd suggest not bothering with her for now as you've got too much to deal with already. 

I hate it when others tell you what your priorities should be in terms of health...

@mspaceK I'm not great with wording rn but I also want to say that.. I believe you I guess?

You know your body and what's normal for it, your judgement is going to be more reliable than a medically untrained other person's opinion on what you feel, and I just wanted to acknowledge that. 

Yeah I believe you @Tiny_leaf and i feel like that's what I needed to hear and the nurse helped.  I'm feeling pretty tired and hopefully I'll be able to fall asleep now that I am in bed. Still got pains and feel like I need the bathroom unfortunately.

Thank you for supporting me. I'll see how i go tonight and tomorrow. Goodnight. 

@mspaceK that sounds so difficult... 

No disrespect to your housemate, but you'll know what your normal is for periods better than anyone else. 

I used to get bad pain, nausea and vomiting with my periods, and fainting at one point.. fortunately the pill helped sort it all out for me.

I hope that the appointment is helpful!