TW: Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm & Suicide

[Bananatime04]

@Andrea-RO

https://vm.tiktok.com/J8Bp33j/

https://vm.tiktok.com/J8S1nFo/

[Andrea-RO]

Hey @Bananatime04 

I'm around  

Also these are some top tier tiktoks, I very much vibe them 

[Bananatime04]

@Andrea-RO do you think I should keep suffering? If so, why?

[Bananatime04]

https://vm.tiktok.com/J8BKRcV/

[Andrea-RO]

Of course not @Bananatime04, 

I think sometimes when we are overwhelmed by sadness, it can feel like you're totally trapped by it, and in turn you can start feeling like you deserve it, or that there might not be an end to it. But it's really important to remember that these feelings that you are unworthy aren't true. If one of your friends asked you the same question, what would you tell them?

[Bananatime04]

@Andrea-RO well firstly apart from the amazing people here, I have no friends. Haha that’s sad anyway if someone asked me that I would tell them it’s not permanent, things will get better and I’ll be with them the whole way BUT I’m different. I’m an exception.

I’m never getting better so that’s why I should just kill myself but I’m scared and it’s ‘selfish’

[Andrea-RO]

@Bananatime04 Why do you think you're different though? What do you think makes you an exception?

A lot of people feel like they won't get better until they do, and so it can feel like death is the only option. But death doesn't actually fix anything, it just stops you ever feeling better. 

Sometimes I think it can help to write out all the reasons why you might be feeling sad. You can put down everything, and then from there start figuring out what you can change and improve. For example, you might put down that you feel alone, or you don't have many friends. But that is something that will change in time - it's always hard when you move somewhere, but slowly you start to meet new people and make new connections with them Have you met any of the other kids at CAHMS? Do you think you'd be able to make friends with them?

[Bananatime04]

@Andrea-RO I’m going to the freaking hospital 😥😓😓😓😓

[Andrea-RO]

Do you mean right now? Or that's what makes you an exception? Because a lot of people go to the hospital get better, That's the point of going 😅

A lot of the users of RO will sometimes go to the hospital for their mental health, do you think any of them are unable to get better?

[Bananatime04]

@Andrea-RO because so far (for 3 years) I just get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse.. and I don’t see me ever changing

Death doesn’t make me happy but it ends the sadness

No I only met the social worker there so far.. I meet the psychiatrist soon though. I do have one friend from school, we’ve had a lunch date (which was horrible because I’m trying to hide my eating problems from her and forced myself to eat that day) and we were gonna hang out these holidays but she’s with her nan and pop at the nursing home 5 hours away.
I could write everything down.. actually I already have, I have soooo many lists on these torn out pieces of paper that I slid under my tall boy (so my mum can’t find them)